Ralph and Sam
by only-looking
Summary: This is my Kim-and-Shego-slowly-become-friends-and-more Kigo origin fic. There are many like it, but this one is mine. Shego has it bad for Kim. Kim has no idea, about a lot of things. Can Shego handle being around Kim any better than not being around her? Love makes you do things you never expected to. Starts off post-StD, in the summer between junior and senior year. Slightly AU.
1. Changing the game

**Changing the game**

* * *

This story starts out post-STD, in the summer between junior and senior year. It will follow the events of season 4, eventually going slightly AU for reasons that are probably obvious. It follows the episodes in production order, not broadcast order.

This is going to be mostly all fluff, with a little bit of angst thrown in here and there to keep things dramatic. There'll also be some actiony scenes, but no Villainous Plots.

Rated M for Shego's pottymouth. Will be M for sexy things later.**  
**

There are a number of - let's call them "conventions"; "cliche" is such an ugly word - involved in this sort of Kigo fic. I will probably hit them all.

I have this stupid gimmick with the ellipses: this...is meant to be a short pause, and this... is meant to be a longer one. It probably doesn't make any sense to anyone but me. To anyone else, it must look like a typo. Stupid written language...

* * *

Shego just wasn't feeling it this time. She'd broken into the high-tech lab to steal the whatever for Drakken's latest doomed plan, and Kimmie had shown up, just like she'd hoped, and they were fighting, just like she wanted, but for whatever reason, Shego wasn't having any fun tonight. Maybe the girl's game was off (Oof, she let out, as Kimmie landed a good one to her stomach. Okay, that wasn't it.), or maybe it was all the other shit going on in her head these days. Shego just wanted to knock it off and get out of there. She recovered from Kim's latest attack (Eh, B-, at best. Maybe Pumpkin was off a little, so even less fun.), connected with a flying kick to the girl's face, and landed on top of a display case.

"Hey Princess. This is getting old, and I have other things I could be doing. Whatta ya say I just put this thingy back where I found it - no crime, no foul - and we get out of here and go get a drink?" Shego tried to keep the mocking tone to a minimum.

"Wha..." Kim was blindsided by this. What the heck did Shego have up her sleeve here? She wiped blood from her nose and tried again. "You..."

"Nice comeback. Been practicing?" Shego noticed something missing. "Where's the buffoon tonight? Two-for-one night at Boner Nacho?"

Okay, how long had the two of them been doing this? Would it kill her to call Ron something less insulting? At least 'Princess' was okay as far as mocking pet names went. "His name is RON, Shego! Jeez. At least Drakken has an excuse. And Ron has a...medical problem."

Kim fought to keep from blushing. If Shego found out Ron had twisted a testicle trying to do something romantic, neither of them would ever hear the end of it. Kim sighed. It had been a sweet idea, and might have worked a little better if he hadn't been covered in nacho cheese. Which was kind of the problem with Ron, she thought. He kept thinking that kind of thing was fun. What was worse, the fact the she didn't or the fact that he did?

Fortunately, Shego wasn't going to rise to that bait. Which was good, because Kim had just realized what Shego had suggested a moment ago. "Wait. You're just going to bail on whatever you're doing and give up?"

"Not giving up, Pumpkin. Just bailing. So how about that drink?"

Oh, great. This was getting worse. "Do you seriously expect me to just go off with you to some dark lair where you can dose me with something and take me captive? Is Drakken making mind control soda now?"

"No, and if he ever does try that shit again I'll give him a plasma tonsilectomy. Fucking mind control. Gah! No, I mean you and me, we call a truce for tonight, go find a bar, and have a nice quiet drink, like - colleagues - and relax. You put up an okay fight tonight, Princess, but you've done better. Honestly? So have I. What's the point if we're not going to do our best? And it's not like you're going to capture me or anything."

Kim was definitely having some problems with this concept. Who had kidnapped her Shego? "Well, for one thing, we're _enemies_, remember? Never mind the fact that I don't drink. And I'm underage."

"Eh, semantics. You say 'enemies', I say 'close professional colleagues with differing alignments but deep respect for each other's abilities'. And I know places we can go where they'll serve you, no questions asked." Shego thought about what the crowd at The Lair would say if she brought Kimmie in. The In-Terror-Net would probably collapse under the weight of the blog posts. Good thing Shego knew lots of less-than-reputable bars, and not all of them were so sleazy. Some of them were even rather nice.

"Whatever. I don't drink, remember?" Kim reminded her nemesis, and why on earth was her nemesis asking her out for a drink anyway?

"That's okay, I don't want to corrupt you or anything", Shego smirked. Yes I do, Kimmie, right here on the floor. Gah! Knock it off, Shego. "We can just have coffee. I know a really nice place. Look. You wanna know the truth?" I'm pathetically in love with you and I want any excuse to spend some time with you, even though I know it's hopeless. "I'm bored, all right? I haven't had an intelligent conversation since a henchman asked me about lockpicking last week, and that was ten minutes. I just want to sit for a while and talk to someone with a brain in their head. I go back now, I'm gonna have to listen to Drakken rant and bitch for the rest of the night and then I'll have to blast him again and listen to him whine for the next two days. I promise to be nice, and not to make fun of you or anything. Just you, me, some good coffee, some tasty snacks and a conversation. If I do anything you don't like, you can leave."

_- Flashback -_

In the paddy wagon after the Lil' Diablos thing had gone completely sideways, Shego wondered if Princess had really been trying to kill her. Knowing a little bit about Kim Possible, Shego didn't think so, but she wasn't quite sure. Kimmie had been _pissed_. Not without good reason, of course. Shego had gone entirely too far tonight. She wouldn't have blamed Kim for tying to kill her. Shego would have done that and worse if someone had messed with her emotions like that.

Then again, Shego was a villain. She was supposed to do that kind of thing. But Kimmie was such a little goody-good, it would have hurt Shego in some way she couldn't describe to see the girl cross a line like that. Maybe it had something to do with not losing those last few illusions she had left and tried never to think about any more, the ones about innate goodness and decency. Shego did not want to see her Princess go the way she had.

In the months after Kimmie had kicked her into the tower and said she hated her, Shego had done some thinking. A lot of thinking, mostly about why it bothered her so much. She knew that she would miss the dynamic between them. Sure, they were enemies, but their professional relationship had always been rather collegial, mostly. Kim tried to stop her and Drakken, but that was what the do-gooder did. It wasn't personal. Shego got the feeling it was personal now.

What was it about that that had her so unsettled, so on edge and willing to blast Drakken whenever she heard his stupid, whiny voice? So what if some do-gooder hero hated her now? It wasn't like they were ever going to be friends or anything, or god forbid anything more. Sure, the kid was unbearably cute, and had an ass that wouldn't quit, and could give her the fight of her life. But she was an incredibly annoying little brat who never knew when to give up.

'Of course', some dark part of Shego's mind told her, 'more than a few people have described you like that.' Oh, please, just shut up already. I don't need this. We are nothing alike. Aside from the obvious surface similarities, anyway. Okay, okay, if she was going to be honest? In different circumstances, they would probably be good friends, the snarky, cranky one and the cheerful, full-of-life one, teasing each other and trading playful insults and one-liners, and maybe, if she was lucky, orgasms. Yeah, not much chance of that ever happening. Not now, anyway. None of this helped answer her question, though. It just made her more angry and depressed, and would make Drakken's life even harder. Just drop it already.

As the weeks went on, Shego discovered that not only couldn't she drop it, it just got worse. The damn cheerleader was on her mind all the damn time, throwing off her rhythm when she was trying to train, and keeping her from sleeping at night. What the hell was going on, and why wouldn't it leave her alone? It wasn't just the loss of the friendly banter that hurt so badly, although that was definitely part of it. She had never had a fighting partner like her Kimmie, and especially not one she liked so much.

Wait, what? What do you mean, you _like_ Kimmie? She's annoying, she's irritating, she's frustrating, she keeps getting under your skin, she's always stopping Drakken's dumbass schemes - okay, that last one was probably a good thing, actually - but she's just an impossible pain in the ass. So to speak. You don't like her, you hate her. Right?

No, not right, apparently. As soon as she had had that thought, that dark part of her mind spoke up again. 'No, you don't hate her. You really do like her. That's why all this hurts so much.'

"Gah!", she screamed, her fists lighting without her realizing it. What the hell was her traitorous mind trying to do to her, drive her even crazier than she already felt? Okay, okay already, so she didn't hate Kimmie. _Yes_, all right, she'd admit that the little redhead had kind of grown on her, a bit. And _fine_, so she did kind of like her, a little bit. Happy now? Now would her damn mind just shut up and leave her alone?

Again, apparently not. Now that that embarrassing admission had come out and not been squashed down, her mind felt free to say whatever the hell it wanted. 'What's really bothering you is that she hates you. You like her and you want her to like you, and it's breaking your heart to know that she hates you', it said, way too smugly.

Fuck! What are we, in third grade? You want her to like you? Why, because you like-like her or something? You want to pass notes back and forth saying "Do you like me? Yes/No. Check one"? Suddenly, everything else in her head went deadly silent as the traitorous part said 'Yes. Yes, you do.'

WHAT? Oh no, no, no, no. No way, no fucking how. Not even remotely true. I hate her and her goody-two-shoes schtick, and I just want to kick her ass, and I don't ever want to see her again, or think about that cute little smile of hers, or those huge green eyes that go so perfectly with all that beautiful red hair, or that adorable way she has about her, or...

Her thoughts all came to a screeching halt, except for one.

"Goddamnit, I'm in love with Kim Possible."

_- end flashback -_

Kim honestly did not know what she was supposed to think right now. This was all kinds of strange. On the one hand, hanging out with Shego? So wrong. On the other hand, Shego thought she was an interesting person to talk to? That was - kind of nice to hear? Kim considered her options. Tell Shego to go to heck and go home and do her summer reading, or have a tasty snack and some conversation. With Shego. With _Shego_. Who was apparently going to be nice. Okay, well, it wasn't procrastinating, it was gaining information about her enemy, she rationalized. Yeah, that was it.

"Well, I don't know... Maybe?" Kim hated how indecisive she sounded.

"Let's just get out of here, this scene is getting depressing. Look, I'm putting the stupid thing back." Shego took the device she'd come for out of her ankle pouch and tossed it at a lab table, but it bounced off and landed on the floor. "Now can we go already?"

"I'm pretty sure that's not where you found it, Shego. If you're going to put it back, put it back right", Kim said, sounding a little self-righteous even to her own ears.

"What are you, my mother? Because you're sounding like her right now."

Shego had picked up on the tone, apparently. Kim ignored this, picked the thing up and started looking around the lab for a safer place for it.

"Ah, Kimmie, aren't you forgetting something?", Shego asked, a teasing tone in her voice.

"What? Is it going to self-destruct or something?" Kim looked the device over closely for any flashing lights or countdown timers.

"No - you're getting blood on it. When these people show up and find their precious doohicky sitting out, when it used to be locked up in a supposedly impregnable vault, the first thing they're going to do is get a crime scene crew down here. Do you want to explain why your DNA is all over it?"

Kim couldn't argue with this, even though she wanted to, somehow. "Right. Good thinking." Kim tried wiping the thing off on her shirt. It didn't seem to be working very well.

"Here, Pumpkin. Try this." Shego handed her a large handkerchief and a small bottle of something nasty-smelling.

"HenchCo All-Purpose Blood and DNA Remover? And you have this, why?"

"Be prepared, Princess. It's the Villains' marching song."

Kim was confused. Villains had a marching song? Whatever. She concentrated on wiping away evidence.

"Can ya hurry it up, Princess? I'd like to be out of here before the cops show up."

Kim couldn't argue with this either. She finished polishing the thing and put it back in the middle of a workbench. Maybe she should leave a note? She had to hand it to Shego, the woman knew what she was doing when it came to villainy. Well, doy. "Fine. Let's go", Kim snapped.

"You don't have to sound so happy about it, you know", Shego replied, feeling a little snappy herself.

"Sorry", Kim apologized automatically. "I'm just a little weirded out about all this."

"What? You think this the first time the good guys and the bad guys have gotten together off the clock? Come on, the hovercraft is on the roof. I'll give you a ride."

Kim was a little nonplussed as she climbed up after Shego towards the hole in the roof. Apparently, she was going to have coffee with her arch-enemy. This was different. Very different. She sighed. Apparently, anything _was_ possible for a Possible. What next? Catching a movie? Going shopping?

* * *

Next time: All sorts of new things.

* * *

**A/N:**

Ah, the old "voice in your head pointing out the hard truths" gimmick. It's a classic for a reason.

"Be prepared" is from the Tom Lehrer song of the same name. It's the Boy Scout marching song (so he claims).

It was pointed out to me in a review that not everybody will get the "Ralph and Sam" reference. It gets explained in the next chapter, but for those who can't wait, Wikipedia has a good article on the subject.

I'd like to thank whoever came up with the In-Terror-Net. It's a wonderful thing.

**Disclaimer:**

I not own anything Kim Possible related. You should know this.


	2. Ralph and Sam

** Ralph and Sam**

* * *

For this to work, you have to imagine Kim has never been in a real coffee shop, and that she's never had an espresso drink, which means ignoring the events of "Pain King vs. Cleopatra". You also have to assume a certain amount of naiveté on her part. Oh, and Kim has access to a car. Ignoring canon in a fanfic? Perish the thought. Whatever, it's more fun this way.

* * *

Kim looked around curiously as they entered Espresso Hell, which was certainly an interesting name for a coffee shop, taking in the artwork on the walls, the funky collection of furniture, and the eclectic collection of customers and counterpeople. Did the woman with the colorful hair and all the tattoos, behind that complex-looking piece of equipment, really have a bunch of metal rings through her nose? And her lip? Huh. You see something new every day, Kim shrugged mentally, and started reading the menu board. There were a lot of choices. Kim had no idea what any of them were.

"I'm just going to have a hot chocolate", Kim whispered to Shego. "I don't recognize anything up there. Do they have those little marshmallows?"

"This place is for grownups, Princess. They don't have hot chocolate. And they don't have little marshmallows. I'll order for us." Shego couldn't keep the smirk out of her voice. Was the kid really this naive? "Trust me, you'll like it", she added, more gently, at Kimmie's hurt look. "The bathroom's in the back. Why don't you go get cleaned up and I'll order and get us a table. And remember - they know me as Shannon here. Please don't screw that up. I like this place and I want to be able to keep coming here." A thought hit Shego. "Oh - you'll need the key. It's hanging from the corner of the counter over there."

Kim wondered why anyone would use an enormous wooden spoon as a keychain. It seemed awfully inconvenient. Another thing she would have to ask Shego. Er, Shannon. That was going to take some getting used to.

* * *

Karina looked up from her copy of _Subparticle Physics Today_ as the door opened. Ah, Shannon was here, with an adorable little redhead. Kinda young, though. Was Shannon robbing cradles now? Karina changed that opinion a little when she started noticing the redhead's body language. If Shannon was a panther, this girl was a tiger, or a leopard. And not a comfortable one, at the moment. She looked like she was about to bolt or start fighting at the next loud noise. It would not do to underestimate this one, Karina thought. She must be one of Shannon's fight-and-fuckbuddies. Apparently, the fighting hadn't happened yet?

The girl was looking a little bewildered by the entire place, her olive-green eyes wide as she looked up at the menu board like she was trying to find something she recognized. Had the kid never been in a coffee shop before? Apparently not. At least she hadn't stared too obviously at Karina and her body art, not much more than she had at the rest of the place. It had been more like she was taking in new experiences, filing away Karina's tattoos and piercings in the same mental place as the paintings, the customers, and the espresso machine, apparently.

The fighting would probably start soon if Shannon kept up that attitude, though. The redhead said something to Shannon, clearly looking for some guidance, looking a little vulnerable there. Shannon, being Shannon, gave her back something sharp and sarcastic, judging from the look in Shannon's eyes and the hurt look on the girl's face. Then Shannon redeemed herself a little, in Karina's opinion, and apparently in the redhead's, by softening her attitude and pointing the girl toward the bathroom. The girl looked very grateful and rushed off, now looking a little confused by the bathroom key.

* * *

"Hiya, Shannon. So, is that your latest playtoy? She's cute. Kinda delicate for your usual type though. But god, I love her hair. I could have so much fun with that..."

Shego had an unexpectedly strong reaction to Karina's assumption. A playtoy? This was Kimmie! "What? No! No, she's... a colleague", she snapped.

No one had ever accused Karina of being slow. "Omigod! Is she the..." The look of anger mixed with protectiveness on Shannon's face pretty much confirmed it. "She is!"

Shego did a facepalm. "Yes, damnit. Jesus. Don't you have a filter? And it's never ever going to happen, okay? We're just going to have coffee. And talk. And... talk."

"It's because you're a masochist", Karina stated in her usual forthright manner. "When I've got it hard for somebody completely unavailable, I obsess on them and write poems, I think about them naked, I masturbate about them, I get a new tattoo, but I don't go and hang out with them so I can torture myself in person, right there in front of them."

"Karina, what did I say about having a filter?"

* * *

"Wow. That all looks really good", Kim said with a little thrill of excitement as Shego set down two tall glasses and a plate of yummy looking baked things. "Is that whipped cream?"

"Mm-hmm", Shego answered. "For you, a mocha, for me, a breve, 'cause I'm feeling decadent tonight. And some scones. We have cranberry-orange, and black currant. Your choice."

"Ooh, cranberry-orange, please and thank you!" Kimmie seemed so genuinely happy to be trying new things, Shego thought her heart might melt. A little more.

"Omigod. This is incredible!", Kim exclaimed as she took her first, tentative sip. And then her second, not-at-all-tentative, much larger, sip. "What is in this?"

"Well, the basic drink is a latte, which is a couple shots of espresso in steamed milk, with frothed milk spooned on top. A mocha is that plus chocolate syrup. A breve is a latte but with half-and-half instead of milk. Whipped cream is optional, as is the cinnamon sprinkled on top there. This place grinds it fresh for every drink."

"No wonder it tastes so good. Is that what the machine over there that makes all the noise does, the frothing?"

"Yeah, and it brews the espresso. The whole thing is really an art form. It takes a lot of practice to become a good barista."

"That's the woman with all the, er, decorations?"

"Karina. She's a hoot. She has a PhD in physics and one in Renaissance literature, plus she reads this really off-the-wall poetry I don't even begin to understand, while her girlfriend accompanies her on cello."

"I've never, um, met anyone with, er, jewelry on their face like that. But her tattoos are kinda captivating. Is that a dragon?"

Oh Kimmie. You really are vanilla. "The one on her right arm is a dragon; the one on her left arm is a sea serpent. They sort of coil around each other across her back. And the piercings are just the ones you can see. She has others in... You know what, never mind. You probably don't want to know about that."

Now Kim did want to know. She was so going to do some research on the Internet tonight. She was so intrigued that the question of how Shego knew so much about parts of Karina you couldn't see with her clothes on never even entered her mind.

* * *

Kim was having trouble interpreting Shego's look. "Something funny? she asked, still a little trepidatious about this whole having-coffee-with-your-enemy business.

"No, Pumpkin. You just have a mustache there."

Kim blushed, inevitably. "Oops", as she started licking her upper lip. She noticed that Shego seemed to be watching her rather intently. "Something wrong?"

"No, you just missed a spot", Shego said with a smile, pointing to the corner of her own mouth.

"Oh, thank you."

Kimmie hadn't missed anything; Shego just liked watching her tongue flicking around like that. So cute. So sexy. Kimmie seemed to be covering a lot of area with it. Stop that, Shego. You're gonna get yourself into big trouble, and this, whatever it is, will be over before it even begins.

"There, you got it all." Good Shego. "Here, take some napkins."

* * *

"So, Shannon, huh? That's not...", Kim began, a little nervously.

"No, Princess. It's not my real name. And no, I'm not going to tell you", Shego answered, to ward off Kim's next question.

Kim couldn't help herself. She really wanted to know. She knew what to do. She made her eyes big, pulled down the corners of her mouth, and started her lower lip quivering.

"Gah! What the hell are you doing, Princess? Stop that! Stop that right now!" Fuck! That was horrifying. I thought she was a hero - what's she doing trying to do something like that? It was as bad as mind control. Shego forced her eyes shut, in the futile hope that that would make it stop. It wasn't working. She could still see that - face - in her mind, could still feel it burning away her resolve.

"Aww, but the puppy dog pout always works. It's infallible!" Kim turned it up even more.

"Dammit! I said NO! I'm _not_ kidding around, Princess! I will walk right out the door and we can just forget this." People were starting to turn around and look. Kimmie looked shocked, now. At least she had put that damn face away before it got out of control. Shego forced herself to calm down, and hoped Kimmie would not call her bluff. "Look, I can't and won't tell you for any number of reasons that will be obvious if you think about it. Number one being that I'm a wanted criminal, remember? And I don't trust you, not yet." Shego was almost whispering now.

That hit Kim like a slap. For a short moment it hurt just as much. She didn't have time to think about why, as she was too busy thinking about what Shego had said, and how intensely she had said it. "Okay, I'm sorry, Shannon. I... I understand. I don't suppose you would trust me with something like that. I wouldn't expect you to. It's just that, us sitting here like this, being kinda friends, I kinda forgot the reality. I shouldn't have pushed. I was curious and it seemed like the obvious question. I wasn't thinking. And... I shouldn't have used the pout. It wasn't fair. Forgive me?"

Kimmie looked so crushed Shego almost couldn't stand it. She wanted to grab the redhead up and hug her and stroke her hair until her eyes lost that sadness and started to sparkle again. She didn't think it would be well received. There was one thing she could do, though.

"Yes, Kimmie. I forgive you." I could forgive you anything. "I shouldn't have snapped like that. It's just really important, and you wouldn't take no for an answer. There are always going to be things I can't tell you, even if it's just for your own good. You have to respect that."

"I know. I promise, I will, from now on." Kim was now smiling again and Shego thought her heart was going to float away in joy.

"And you're never, ever, going to use that pout on me again, right?"

"Well... I can't promise that. Who knows what I may need to talk you into some day?" Kim's smile had gone from beaming to evil.

"Princess..."

"Oh, all right", Kim huffed, fingers crossed under the table. She had a thought. "Hey, did we just have our first fight?"

"What? Pumpkin, what were we doing an hour ago?"

"You know what I mean. Our first argument, as sort of friends?"

"Yeah, I guess we did. And we're both still here. And we didn't try to kill each other. Progress, huh?"

* * *

Kim was really enjoying the evening. It was a... weird sitch, sitting here with Shego, of all people, drinking coffee with her arch-enemy like they were friends. But it felt almost normal. Almost. She was still having trouble getting her head around the idea. She wondered if Shego was.

"Um, Shego, I mean, Shannon? Am I the only one who thinks this is a little strange? We're enemies, we fight each other all the time, you're a criminal and I'm supposed to be a hero. Then why are we sitting here like we're friends? Aren't I supposed to be arresting you?"

"For what, Princess? Attempted robbery? The only evidence is what you left behind. Look. Like I said, we're colleagues who happen to work on opposite sides. But that's all it is, just work. At the end of the day? You haven't caught me, there's no evidence anyway, and I'm done with whatever 'crime' it was. We're just two people who work together, having coffee and unwinding after work."

Kim was having trouble accepting all of this. It seemed too simple. "But, you're evil, right? How am I supposed to forget about that?"

"Um, Kimmie, I'm not evil. A little amoral, maybe, but not as much as you might think. I'm a criminal, and yeah, it's fun. I like stealing stuff, and stirring up trouble, and I like any excuse to fight with you, but I'm not evil. Gemini is evil. Monkey Fist is evil. Drakken is too inept to be evil, and, if you push him hard enough, he's actually a decent guy underneath all the crazy. Hitler and his crowd were evil. Those guys who kill each other because they worship a little differently are evil. I'm just opportunistic. And easily amused. There's a big difference between liking to steal and being evil."

Kim wasn't entirely convinced. "Okay, I'll accept that on the scale of evil, you're not all that bad. But you do evil things, and I shouldn't be hanging out with you. Right?"

"Kimmie, have I done anything evil recently? Other than trying to steal some gizmo that I put back? Willingly? Look, tomorrow we can go back to being enemies, but tonight we're off the clock. Just like Ralph and Sam."

"Ralph and Sam?" Kim was confused.

"You know, Kimmie. The old cartoon - Ralph Wolf and Sam Sheepdog? They'd clock in, Ralph would try to steal sheep and Sam would stop him, Sam would be about to beat the shit out of Ralph or drop him off a cliff, then the lunch whistle would blow. They'd sit next to each other and eat, talk about the ball game or whatever, then go back to business after. At the end of the day, they'd clock out, say goodbye and go home."

Kim was starting to remember Saturday mornings as a kid, sitting with Ron right in front of the TV, eating huge bowls of cereal and watching Bugs Bunny and the Roadrunner. "Ralph was the one who looked like Wile E. Coyote, right? I remember."

"Exactly, Pumpkin. It's just a job. Let's just leave it back at the office and enjoy each other's company. It's not like we haven't both done a good day's work."

Kim didn't want to admit that she really liked this argument, even though she sort of did want to admit it. Was it really so bad, just sitting and having coffee with Shego like normal people? If it was, why was Kim enjoying it so much? She looked into Shego's eyes. The woman looked so darn normal, sitting there, without her usual smirk. No, she looked - serious, like she actually cared about how Kim felt about it.

"Well, I guess I can try, if you can."

* * *

Shego was of two minds as she flew the hovercraft back to her condo. On the one hand, she knew this whole thing was hopeless and there was no way it would ever work. She was a criminal, Kimmie was a hero, end of story. Oh, and Kimmie liked boys, not girls. Trying to actually hang out with her, as something like friends, was only going to lead to heartbreak, and Shego had had quite enough of heartbreak for one life.

On the other hand, she was ridiculously happy right now. So happy she could almost convince herself that this insane idea could actually work after all. Hadn't she and Kimmie just spent several hours sitting and talking over coffee like two normal people? Kimmie had spent almost the entire time looking at her like she almost liked her. Shego was pretty good at the self-delusion, and she was willing to delude herself into believing that Kim did like her, even if it would never be in _that_ way.

Shego kept these two lines of thought up for a while before some reality set in. She was a bad guy and Kimmie was a good guy, and Ralph and Sam were cartoon characters. Not too many pure-hearted heroes would spend their time with black-hearted villains like herself. Shego might get a few coffee nights out of the deal, but once Kimmie came to her senses, that would end pretty damn abruptly. Yeah. Well, it would be fun while it lasted, and Shego would be damned if she wouldn't try to milk it as far as she could.

For the first time in many years, Shego started thinking about some of her life choices. For the first time in even more years, she started regretting some of those choices. Because, since she was being honest with herself, how great was this life, anyway? Sure, stealing and living the outlaw life was exciting as all hell, and being rich was a damn sight better than not being rich, but it meant, you know, being an outlaw.

Since she was being brutally honest now, she could admit, at least to herself, that she would kind of like to be able to walk around on the streets without having to look over her shoulder all the time. She was certainly getting sick of getting thrown in jail, even if she never stuck around for very long. She was sure as hell sick of having to put up with idiots like Drakken.

In her deepest, darkest heart, though, she knew that there was a bigger reason for being so conflicted, one that had nothing at all to do with Kimmie, one that she had only recently started becoming aware of. She was getting bored with it all. When she had first started out in villainy, it had mainly been for the charge, the pure adrenaline rush of breaking all the rules and living exactly the way she wanted to.

Back then, and for a long while afterwards, she had believed that the straight life was for suckers who were too chickenshit to take what they wanted and say fuck anyone else. Shego had watched _Goodfellas_ about 30 times in a week, and it had made a strong impression on her younger self. She tried very hard not to think of the ending of that movie, and was usually pretty successful. On the few occasions when she was not, she managed to blame the characters for being stupid and getting greedy, and not knowing when to cut and run.

Shego was struck by a thought. Was it time for her to cut and run? She had a lot of money. She could go find some private island somewhere, or some nice European country where she wasn't wanted. Luxembourg, perhaps, or Monaco (Oh wait, she was wanted in Monaco. Dammit.) and live quietly under one of her clean identities. She could always do a little cat burglary to keep from getting bored, keep her skills up. Could she get Kimmie to visit somehow? Yeah, right. Not unless she posted something on the girl's site, and then the damn buffoon would come along for the ride.

Okay, she wasn't going to leave town. What was she going to do, then? Reform? And then what? Redeem herself somehow? How would that work? She had been a criminal for over half her life. Was she going to start helping old ladies across the street and going on save-the-world missions like Kimmie? The image of her and Kimmie as partners, diving out of planes and sneaking into lairs to stop evil plans together popped, fully formed, into Shego's mind and would not go away. In her vision, they wore matching outfits and had - god help her - a catchphrase. So why didn't the whole thing make her want to vomit? She supposed this was what love did - make you want to do ridiculous things and make it seem like a good idea. She wondered what Kimmie would think if Shego told her she was going back to being a hero. Kimmie would undoubtedly be proud of her.

Shego had heard about people having epiphanies, how they hit like a "blinding flash of light". She now knew what they meant, since she was nearly blinded by the intensity of the realization of just how important it was to her for Kimmie to be proud of her. The girl would give her that incredibly pure smile, the one that could curl Shego's toes, and maybe a hug. More importantly, she would be proud of her. And that, apparently, would be enough for Shego. Epiphany received.

* * *

Kim bounced into the house energetically. Shego had given her a ride back to the car, which had been parked around the corner from the lab. There had certainly been a lot of police around. It felt like it was last year that she and Shego had been there fighting, like usual, and then it had gotten - unusual. Kim had to remind herself that it was only a few hours ago. Funny how quickly everything could change. She had had...fun tonight. More fun than she could ever imagine having with someone who, up until tonight, she had only thought of as her biggest enemy. Plus, there were delicious mochas and scones involved.

Kim really wanted to go and do her research. She hadn't been able to get Karina's tattoos out of her head. They were beautiful and a little frightening. Kim had sometimes daydreamed about getting a little rose or hummingbird or something on her shoulder or maybe her hip, but that seemed so mundane now. Kim had no intention of ever actually putting anything like that on herself, but she had to admit that the idea of it was kind of exciting. She wondered what everybody would think if she showed up one day with a dragon with its wings spread covering her upper body. She imagined it would involve her having to give CPR to a lot of people. And then her parents would ground her until she was old enough for a nursing home.

Kim made a quick stop in the kitchen to grab a glass of water before going up to her room. Apparently, her parents were still up. She really didn't want to have to answer any questions about tonight.

"How was the mission, Kimmie-Cub?"

"Huh? Oh, great, Dad, really great.", Kim answered distractedly. "I stopped Shego from stealing the whatever-it-was." That was technically true, right? It didn't get stolen, anyway.

"That's nice, Kimmie. Do you want something to eat?"

"No, Mom, I'm fine. We...I stopped and had a snack. Um, I'm going to go to bed now. G'night!"

Kim remembered to get her water and hurried off up the stairs. She was just going to go pee again and then she could get started.

* * *

Kim wasn't sure she could still be shocked, she thought as she looked at more photo galleries of scarcely-dressed people of both sexes, sporting some frankly amazing artwork on their skin. Some of them - especially the women - had gotten extremely creative. This one had seemed to have shaved herself...down there...and had a butterfly tattooed. Holy cow. That was...was... well, Kim didn't know what it was, but she couldn't take her eyes off it. She saved off the image into a folder full of old mission reports she had done for 8th grade English class. She didn't want anybody finding _that_ accidentally.

She realized that she could indeed still be shocked when she started looking for images of piercings. Especially by the images of what the guys had had pierced. A Prince Albert? Eww! That was just unpleasant all around. Kim backed out of the pictures of the girls really quickly. Some of those looked painful, even if they did stay with you. Kim found herself curious, though, if any of those were what Karina had pierced. Talk about things you couldn't normally see. Kim wondered if she would ever be able to work up the courage to ask Karina about it. Clearly, it had to feel better than it looked, otherwise no one would ever do it. Karina didn't really strike her as a masochist.

It was after 3:00 in the morning. Kim should probably turn the darn computer off and go to bed. The only problem was that she wasn't at all sleepy. What the heck was in that mocha? Kim could find out pretty easily. She did a search for 'espresso' and had her answer. That explained it. She really shouldn't have had that second one. Did that stuff come in decaf, Kim hoped? Because otherwise this coffee-with-Shego business was going to cause serious problems in her life. She found herself unexpectedly looking forward to their next coffee night.

* * *

Next time: Could it really be that easy?

* * *

**A/N:**

Don't worry (or get your hopes up) - Kim's not getting a tattoo any time soon. Not that she's gonna stop thinking about it, though.

When you think about Kim-and-Shego-bond-over-coffee stories, you immediately think of King in Yellow's "Best Enemies" series, because it's brilliant. Go read it.

Now I can't stop thinking about the old Ralph and Sam cartoons remade with Kim and Shego. Get on that, Deviant Art people!

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own anything Kim Possible related. You should know this.


	3. Second thoughts

**Second thoughts**

* * *

This chapter is pretty much a lot of angst and dark thoughts. Not a lot of fluff here. It's kinda short, though, so there's that.

* * *

Shego was in her condo, sitting on the couch and thinking dark thoughts. What the hell had she been thinking, taking Kimmie out for coffee like it was some date? Could she not control her emotions, for god's sake? No, apparently, she couldn't. And the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about it? Shego had loved every minute of it. For two hours, she had actually been happy, or as close to it as she ever got these days. God, the way Kimmie smiled, the look in her eyes and the incredibly cute giggle she had when Shego made a joke? Shego would do anything, anything, to keep making that happen.

And for what? More opportunities like this, to torment herself with fantasies of the two of them holding hands and snuggling and talking all night and watching the sun come up? Was it really worth it, just for the chance to spend a little time with the most incredible creature she had ever met? Yes. Yes, it was. Shego had always been a go-out-and-take-it type of person, and she was going to go and take all of this she could. Who knew what might happen? Shego would try and become a good person again, and Kim would be proud of her, and start seeing her in a new light, and they could spend even more time together. Eventually Kimmie would see how much better she was for her than the buffoon, how much more mature and interesting, and they would become friends, and then something more. Hell, Kimmie would probably take it as a challenge, right? The girl who can do anything could try batting for the other team and go out and knock it over the fence with a smile.

No, Shego admitted to herself. That wasn't going to happen. Kimmie wasn't going to suddenly realize she liked girls. She wasn't going to fall for her fucking arch-foe like some cheesy story. No, Kimmie was going to marry her dumbass sidekick and go join Global Justice and have a bunch of kids and live in the fucking suburbs and watch the buffoon get fat. She wondered how Princess would like it when she realized that the man still acted like a cartoon character when he was thirty. Ugh. Poor Kimmie. She didn't deserve that. Not that Shego could do anything about it. See above, under "bi, not".

Shego sighed. Epiphany, my ass. This was just making her depressed. Okay. She'd keep going for coffee, and they could just hang out. Like friends, right? Wasn't that what friends did? Not that Shego had a lot of friends. She had people she was friendly with, like the crowd down at Espresso Hell, or people at swing, not that she'd ever admit being into swing dancing to Kimmie. Nobody she'd ever send a Christmas card to. Not that she'd ever send a Christmas card. But she didn't really have any friends, at least other than the kind she either got drunk with and fucked, or argued with until they either stalked off or fucked, or just fought with and got worked up and fucked. So, not a lot of helpful precedent there. And she could at least be with Kimmie for a while. That was the important thing. Damnit, why was it so hard to be around her, and even harder to not be around her?

At least they still had the fighting. That was almost as good as sex. She was going to have to keep up the villainy for a while to make sure Kimmie came around to give her what she needed. At least that way she got to leave with some loot sometimes. It made it a little easier to deal with having to go home all horny and frustrated if she actually got something out of it.

Okay, they'd just be friends, and do friend stuff, like have coffee, and go shopping or whatever. What, shopping? When the hell had she ever wanted to go shopping? Shopping was buying groceries or toilet paper or whatever. Shit you needed, you made out a list so Drakken wouldn't forget it, and you bought it. Not a lot of fun there. So, what? Trying on clothes? Watching Kimmie model cute little outfits with short skirts and skimpy tops? Okay, that could be a lot of fun. Shego was going to have to reconsider this whole shopping with girlfriends thing.

So okay, shopping. Not that Banana Club wherever place all the kids went to, a real clothing store. Some couture place like Le Connard Prétentieux up in Go City. Buy her Princess a wardrobe that didn't consist of cargo pants and combat boots. Some real shoes, with heels. Some stockings, lingerie. She could keep the crop-tops, though. They really showed off that tight stomach and cute little bellybutton Shego wanted to run her tongue around in and drink tequila from...

Shego started listening to what she was thinking. Fuck, I'm a pervert. Letching on a high school kid. Jesus. What the fuck was wrong with her? And what was Kimmie going to tell her parents when she came home with $10,000 worth of new wardrobe? "Look what my sugar mama bought me! She's my friend and she's 7 years older than me and has no ulterior motive whatsoever, even though she's my arch-enemy!" Not that Kimmie would let Shego spend all that on her anyway. Leave it to Little Miss Annoyingly Perfect to stop her from making a fool of herself.

So! She had just been saved from mortifying embarrassment by the world-saving hero (No big!) who she wanted to pay back by trying to get into her pants. She was really doing well at this whole reformation and redemption business, wasn't she? Shego wondered when she had started developing a conscience. She didn't seem to remember ever being bothered by wanting to get somebody into bed, or by doing whatever underhanded thing she needed to do to get them there. She certainly didn't remember ever hanging out with someone she had the hots for if it wasn't ever going to happen. Why would she waste her time?

Also, when did she ever not try hitting on someone just because she didn't think she had a shot? She could take no for an answer, usually. She'd gotten pretty used to girls saying they didn't swing that way. Sometimes they weren't even freaked out afterwards. So why didn't she at least try with Kimmie? She'd be cool about it, right? So not the drama? Right, because the older dyke with the double entendres just likes having coffee with you and buying you clothes and talking about cheerleading practice. Yeah, not even the buffoon would buy that.

Shego definitely wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize what they had, especially an attempt that was more doomed than Drakken's next scheme. But there was more to it than not being able to see Kimmie any more, bad as that would be, Shego was suddenly forced to realize. If Kimmie thought that Shego had been doing all this, from the very beginning, to try to get into her pants, she would be pissed. She would be incredibly pissed. But she would also be - disappointed - with Shego.

This word came as a shock. 'Disappointed with her'? Why the fuck did she care if a teenage girl was disappointed in her like she was her mother? But she did care. She cared a lot, it seemed. Shego could imagine the sad look in Kimmie's big olive eyes and the tears starting to form, seriously hurt by someone she had trusted, had treated as a friend (someone she had absolutely no reason to trust, Shego's self-lacerating voice said), who had lied to and deceived her about everything. And it crushed her heart to know she'd hurt her Kimmie like that.

Fuck! She had it bad. When had she become such a pussy? She needed a drink; or five. Shego went to the bar and got the bottle of Jack and sat out on her balcony and drank until the image of broken-hearted Kimmie went away, replaced by numbness and repeating loops of self-recrimination.

* * *

Kim was lying on her bed, hugging her Pandaroo and thinking about how complicated her new relationship with Shego was. It had been a couple of days since that night when Shego had suddenly interrupted the fight and dragged them off to have coffee, and Kim had had a lot of time to think since then. At first, when Shego had initially suggested it, Kim had been too gobsmacked by the idea to register more than a token complaint. Yes, Kim hadn't exactly been on her best game, but what did that have to do with anything? Just because the fight wasn't as much fun as most of their encounters (and when did "fun" ever enter into it?, Kim asked herself), did that mean she should just give up and let Shego get away, let alone go off with her and sit down like normal people and act like friends?

Kim thought back to that night, how normal it had all seemed. Shego had been acting like a normal person, which was distinctly abnormal. That was weird in itself. It had almost seemed like Shego cared what Kim thought, that she _wanted_ Kim to like her. Kim ran the evening through her mind, remembering Shego's behavior. The only trace of the woman's usual attitude had been when they had first gotten there and Kim had wanted to order a hot chocolate with the little marshmallows. Which had almost gotten Kim to leave right then and there, because she had no desire to listen to that for an hour or two. Apparently, Shego had picked up on that, because she had immediately lightened up and dropped the smirk. The rest of the evening, with the exception of Kim's trying to use the puppy dog pout to get Shego's real name, had been really pleasant, and actually kind of fun.

There was that word again. "Fun" wasn't something Kim was used to associating with Shego, or any of their interactions. Shego certainly seemed to have fun taunting her, and definitely enjoyed their fights as much as Kim did, but Kim didn't think of it as fun, did she? She did enjoy the fighting, but that was only because she had the chance to go up against someone as good as she was, right? Someone who could give her a challenge. Someone who wasn't boring or went down with two good kicks, someone who made it fun... Okay, maybe it was fun. You know, when Shego wasn't trying to put her into a deathtrap that she always got out of anyway.

Kim thought about that for a while. Shego claimed she wasn't evil, and maybe by her terms she wasn't as evil as some, but the woman was still a criminal, who tried to kill her a lot. How could Kim hang out with someone like that? For that matter, why wasn't she dead already? She couldn't be that lucky, not every time, not with someone as good as Shego trying to kill her. So why was she still alive? Kim thought back over their fights throughout the years. Shego tossed that plasma around, but it was mostly the low-level stuff. Why hadn't Shego hit her with one of those burn-through-steel-vault blasts? Heck, why hadn't Shego just taken a gun and shot her?

Okay, so Shego wasn't trying to kill her, and had actually passed up a bunch of opportunities to really hurt her. Heck, the woman had sat nicely in her kitchen for a while when they worked together to take down Aviarius that time. Of course, when she had gotten all of Team Go's powers for herself, she had immediately gone into take-over-the-world mode. It was kind of funny, though, how easily Kim had been able to get the staff away from her. Maybe she had let Kim win? And that was another thing - Shego had been a little too insistent on telling everybody how evil she was. If she was that evil, why didn't she do something worse than a little gloating and showing off? Come to think of it, she didn't even look that crushed when Kim had destroyed the power staff, just a bit surprised and disappointed.

So, apparently Shego wasn't actually evil, which Kim now realized she had suspected for a while. However, the woman was still a criminal, wanted in at least 11 countries, and Kim couldn't just hang around with her like they were girlfriends. Shego wasn't a little naughty, the kind of bad girl who broke curfew and drank beer and maybe shoplifted once in a while. She was a serious criminal who worked for a madman who continually tried to take over the world. Admittedly, he was an incompetent madman whose plans generally failed even without Kim's involvement, but eventually he was going to succeed, even by accident, and a lot of people were going to get hurt.

There was no way Kim was going to be able to let herself keep spending time with the woman, no matter how much fun it had been the first time. There couldn't be a second time. Shego had already gotten her to destroy evidence, or at least interfere with a crime scene. Wiping away blood had to count as interfering with a crime scene, right, even if she wasn't doing anything wrong? Was she an accessory now? Kim did not like this idea at all. She had a thought. Was it a crime scene? There wasn't any crime, really, she told herself, mostly believing it. Nothing got stolen, and Kim had had something to do with that, even if indirectly. All Shego had done was breaking and entering, and hadn't Kim done the same thing?

Kim wanted to stop this line of thought. Rationalization gave her a headache. She would just have to forget about how nice it was sitting down with Shego and having those yummy mochas, and how much she had enjoyed Shego's company. They could never do this again, no matter how much Kim had been looking forward to it. What if someone found out about them? Not too good for a hero. No, the next time Shego called, Kim would tell her to go away.

* * *

Next time: How's that resolve working?

* * *

**A/N:**

I already knew that naive, clueless Kim was fun to write, but I had no idea angsty Shego would be so much fun. So yes, there will be more of that.

_Le Connard Prétentieux_ : _The Pretentious Fuck/Motherfucker_, or at least that's what Google Translate tells me. I know absolutely no French, so any corrections would be gladly appreciated, with attribution.

Thanks to the good people over at kpslashhaven for advice on Kim and Shego's history, saving me from writing something dumb.

I apologize for this chapter being so short. The next one is over twice as long, which ought to make up for it.

**Disclaimer:**

I not own anything Kim Possible related. You should know this.


	4. Discoveries

**Discoveries**

* * *

Kim was sitting on the couch, watching Ron play Mutant Apocalypse. He was getting deeply into it, carrying on a conversation with the slimy things he was fighting. Kim was deeply bored, wishing she could have a conversation with someone, anyone. If she had Shego's number, she could ask the woman out for coffee again. Right, that was likely. Shego was probably out working on some evil plan for Drakken. So, maybe Wade would have something? She sighed, and resisted the urge to reach for the Kimmunicator.

Just then, her phone rang. "Oh, thank god.", she muttered as she dove for the instrument. "Hello? What's the sitch?", she said, a little too quickly.

"Whoah there, Pumpkin. Not your nerdlinger here. Just wanted to see if you had time for coffee. I've got..."

"Yes! Yes, uh, Shannon. I'll be right there!" Kim colored a bit as she realized how eager she sounded. Fortunately, Ron didn't seem to have noticed.

Shego smirked as she listed to Kimmie nearly jump through the line. The girl sounded like Shego was saving her life, or at least her sanity. From the sounds of the buffoon in the background, Shego figured it was the latter. "Looking forward to seeing me, Kimmie?", she teased. Not as much as I am to seeing you.

"Oh, um, I mean, sure. You know, kinda bored here. Looking forward to, ah, some intelligent conversation. And another mocha." Kim was pretty sure she was blushing again. Why was she getting so tongue-tied here? What was Shego going to think of her if she couldn't even have a simple phone conversation?

Oh, god, you are so cute when you do that. I bet you're blushing again, too. Shego was very tempted to say something snarky or suggestive and see if she couldn't get the redhead to break down completely, but she was trying to be good, or at least better, these days. "Well, I am a pretty fascinating person. As I was going to say, I have the afternoon free, so if you want, we can meet up for coffee in 20 minutes?"

"I'll be there in 10. Leaving now. Bye." Kim hung up and grabbed her jacket and Kimmunicator, just in case. Ron still hadn't seemed to have noticed. "Um, Ron? I have to go. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Have we got a mission, KP?" Ron asked distractedly, finally looking up from the screen.

"No, just, you know, stuff. I'm just going to, um, stretch my legs a little. Watch out for that mutant thing."

"Oh, right. Thanks, KP. Meet up at Bueno Nacho later?"

"Sure, okay. See you then. Bye", Kim called out, a little guiltily, as she ran for the door, but Ron had already turned his attention back to the game. Kim was several blocks away when she remembered she had been going to tell Shego she couldn't do this any more.

* * *

Shego was waiting, impatiently, in front of Espresso Hell. She was wearing a pale green silk shirt, dark green jacket, and black skirt, and had only spent 30 minutes picking out the outfit and checking herself in the mirror before working up the nerve to call. Of course Kimmie was going to show up. She had been so excited on the phone, right? But what if one of her damn missions came up? Dementor was still running around loose; so was DNAmy. It would be just like them to start some shit and screw her out of seeing her Princess. She checked her watch again. 8 minutes since she had called. Of course she was coming. Oh, god. What if the buffoon wanted to tag along? Or what if Kimmie woke up and realized what she was doing? The cops were probably on their way right now. She should just leave while she had a chance.

Shego continued on in this vein, alternating between anticipation and panic. Why the hell was she so nervous about this? Why did she even think this could ever work? Then Kimmie pulled up and all of Shego's thoughts evaporated, replaced by euphoric bliss as her face broke out in what had to be the goofiest smile she had ever had. She put her hand over her mouth and faked a cough in an attempt to get her composure back. She noticed she was bouncing up and down a little. Stop that, dammit! You're a suave criminal, not a lovesick teenager. A suave, lovesick criminal. Oh, hell. Through an effort of will, she calmed and centered herself, but her now-less-goofy smile would not go away. She still couldn't help waving like an idiot.

Driving over in her dad's car, Kim was surprised at just how excited she was. She tried telling herself she was only looking forward to the mocha and scones. But if that was the case, how come she never went and had them on her own? Okay, she admitted, she was really looking forward to mocha and scones with Shego. She still wasn't sure how it had happened, but their relationship had changed somehow. Instead of being just enemies, now they were friendly enemies. Or something. It was all a little confusing. But she was Kim Possible, so she was darn well going to follow through with this and see where it led. Based on their last meeting, she could give Shego the benefit of the doubt, at least until the woman did something evil again.

Kim found a spot a few doors down from Espresso Hell and parked. Apparently, it wasn't too busy today. And there was Shego, bouncing nervously on her toes, an odd smile on her face. Huh. What the heck did Shego have to be nervous about? Was this a trap after all? Then Shego coughed, smiled widely and without a trace of smirk, and waved. Okay, this was going to be fine.

"Hi, Shego. Shannon." Kim was suddenly aware that she was smiling just as widely. "I don't think I've ever seen you in street clothes before. Well, except for that time at the Bermuda Triangle. You look nice."

She thinks I look nice! Shego's heart swelled and tumbled over a few times. "Hi, Princess. Glad you could come. I know it was kinda short notice."

"Ugh, I was watching Ron play video games. I was bored out of my skull. I would have called you if I had your number."

"Well, maybe we can do something about that some day. Come on, I need caffeine", said Shego, opening the door. "Princesses first."

Kim tried for a haughty look, but she was smiling too hard. "And don't you ever forget it."

As they walked up to the counter, Kim saw that the woman with the tattoos and the colorful hair was working again. Okay, the piercings still weirded her out a bit, but a lot less than before, she thought, remembering her research from the last time. Karina, that was her name, put down her book and gave them a big smile.

"Hi, Shannon! Who's your friend?" Kim saw the mischievous twinkle in Karina's eye, but missed the look that Shego gave back.

"Karina, this is Kim. She's - a friend from work. Sort of."

"Sort of from work, or sort of a friend?" Karina's twinkle was even more mischievous now. What the heck?

"Sort of both. We work together, sometimes. It's - kind of complicated." Kim didn't miss the dirty look Shego gave Karina, but didn't understand it. Must be some in-joke between them.

"I'll bet. Hi, Kim. Nice to meet you. What can I get you guys?"

"Nice to meet you too. I'll have a mocha with whipped cream, please and thank you. Oh, and a scone. What kind do you have today?"

"The blueberry just came out of the oven. They're still nice and warm. Get them now, they won't last long. Oh, do you want some syrup in that mocha? We're pushing the hazelnut today; the delivery guy sent a couple extra bottles."

"Ooh, sounds delicious. Yes to both."

"Okay, how about you, Shannon? Your usual latte?"

"Yeah, with almond. And a couple of the blueberry scones, before these animals get them all. So, what are you reading today? More quantum gravity?"

"Nah, the mid-period sonnets of Pierre de Ronsard. They're exquisite." Karina noticed Kim's confused look. "16th-century French poet. He's kind of a specialty of mine. Here, let me read you a couple of them. Uh, you speak French, right?"

"Let's not get her started, Princess. She's as bad as you are when she gets onto one of her topics. Give us a shout when they're ready, Karina. We're just gonna go sit."

* * *

"So, Princess. The buffoon is too busy playing video games to spend time with his girlfriend?", Shego teased a little more harshly than she had intended, putting a bit of sarcastic emphasis on 'girlfriend'. Seriously, what the hell did she see in him?

"Okay, Shego. I mean, Shannon. If this is going to work, there are going to have to be a few ground rules. For one thing, his name is Ron. No more calling my friends by stupid nicknames. No more 'Buffoon', no more 'Nerdlinger' or 'Poindexter'. I mean it."

"Does that mean I can't call you 'Princess' any more?", Shego asked in mock disappointment.

"No, you will anyway, no matter what I say. Or you'll find something worse. Besides", Kim's voice got a little smaller here, "I kinda like it that you call me Princess. Maybe at first I didn't, but after I got to know you better I realized it's a term of respect." And, you know, I like that you care enough to call me something cute. Kim didn't dare tell Shego this; she could only imagine how the woman would respond. Kim only knew that she would never hear the end of the teasing.

"Well, at first it wasn't. I was just yanking ya for being all Miss Polly Perfect. Then, yeah, once I saw how well you could fight, and how you were damn well going to stop whatever plan Drakken had, no matter what we did to you, it got real respectful." And you've always been my Princess in my dreams, haven't you, Kimmie?

Shego had actually had a dream once where the beautiful princess had to be saved from the tower where the mean old king had locked her up. Except in this one, somehow, Ron was the one who kept Kim captive, and Shego was the brave knight who had to rescue her. Shego had only taken a few semesters of undergraduate psych, but she had a pretty good idea what that meant, besides her wanting to get into Kimmie's pants.

"Well, I've respected you since the first time we met. Didn't like you, kind of a little afraid of you, but definitely respected you. And now? Still a little afraid of you. Starting to not like you a little less, though."

"Must be the chocolate, Princess. It can have that kind of effect. That or my charming personality is starting to get under your defenses."

"I think I'll go with the chocolate. So, you never agreed. Well? No more insulting nicknames? Because I can leave now." Kim really didn't want to have to leave, now that she was actually starting to enjoy this a bit. She really hoped Shego was being serious about wanting to behave.

No, Kimmie, please don't leave. I'll be good, I swear. "Sure, Princess. I'll be good. Just don't get too pissed if I slip up once in a while. Old habits, they're like muscle memory."

Ohhh, thank you, Shego. Just please be serious. "That's fine, just don't slip up too often."

"Don't worry, I won't. But you know, this doesn't apply when we're on the job. I'm still gonna give you shit and call him 'Buffoon' and laugh when his pants fall down. Besides the fact that it's so much fun, everybody expects it. What would he think if I said 'Hey, Ron, your pants button just broke. You'd better grab ahold there before they fall down'? Although", Shego rubbed her chin with a slightly diabolical look in her eyes, "He would think I was up to something. I could seriously fuck with his head. That would be fun..."

"Shego...", Kim said in a low growl. She was starting to get mad now. If the woman wasn't going to take this seriously, Kim really was going to have to leave. Dangit.

"Sorry, Pumpkin. I was just teasing you. You really are too much fun to tease, you know."

"Yes, well, you have to know when to stop teasing and start being serious."

"I know, I know. Like I said, muscle memory. So no, no more nicknames unless we're on the clock. Ralph and Sam, remember?

"Thank you, Ralph."

"You're welcome, Sam."

* * *

"Ready for another round, Kimmie?"

"Sure! I'll get them. I wanted to ask Karina about her tattoos. Um, I don't have any money."

"Don't worry, Princess. My treat. I make a little more than you do. Just tell her to put it on my tab."

"You can run a tab in a coffee shop?"

"Some of us can. I come in here a lot."

Kim walked up to the counter a little nervously. What was there to be nervous about, she asked herself. Karina seemed nice, even if she was a bit intimidating. Shego had said she was cool, right? Kim was just going to ask her about her tattoos, and...that other question. She wouldn't mind, right? You could see them, right? She probably had people asking her about them all the time. Of course, she was probably sick and tired of people asking stupid questions about them all the time. So great. Kim was going to sound like an idiot middle school kid in front of a woman with two PhDs. Wait a minute. How many degrees did Wade have? Kim acted like an idiot in front of him all the time. She could do this. _So_ not the drama.

* * *

Karina watched Kim as she came up to the counter, carrying the empty glasses. Time for a refill, apparently. The redhead looked a little uncertain.

"Hi, Karina. We need another round. I think I'll have the raspberry this time." Kim had just been introduced to the Torani syrups today and she wasn't sure how she had managed to live her life without them up until now. She was going to have to go through the entire collection of 30 or so bottles they seemed to have back there. "Um, Sh...Shannon says you should put this on her tab?"

"Sure, Kim. You got it. Oh, and for the future? You can just put the empties in the bus bucket over there", Karina said, pointing over to the cart in the corner.

"Ah, thanks. I didn't even see that. Sorry." Dangit, Kim. Not helping yourself here.

God, she _was_ adorable, Karina thought, blushing like that. Although if she was so kickass, what was she blushing about? Ah, she was going to ask the questions. Why did Karina do that to herself? Did it hurt? Did she ride a motorcycle? Was she a lesbian? Sigh. Karina had wanted to like the kid, too. She tightened her expression in expectation.

"So, um, I was wondering?" Just spit it out, Kim. You're a Possible, for Pete's sake. "About your tattoos? Um, I was wondering if I could take a closer look? They're so beautiful. Um. I mean...if you don't mind..." Kim trailed off, now blushing even harder at Karina's stern look.

Oh, this kid. Karina just wanted to take her home and keep her as a pet, she was so cute. Karina was having trouble keeping the smile off her face as Kim got more and more flustered. She really shouldn't tease her like this. She wasn't Shannon, after all. Karina decided to relent before the poor girl ran out the door in embarrassment. She gave Kim a big smile.

"Sorry. I was teasing you a little. I don't mind at all." Karina pointed at the dragon on her right arm. "This is Priscilla and this", pointing at the sea serpent on her left, "is Charybdis."

Kim's nervousness and embarrassment vaporized as she looked, mesmerized, at the two fierce creatures that occupied Karina's shoulders and biceps. The red dragon with golden highlights on its scales breathed fire down the woman's arm to her wrist. Its eyes seemed to follow her, and Kim couldn't help but notice they were the exact same shade of green as Shego's. The blue and gray serpent, tinged with streaks of green, had its mouth open in a snarl, showing off an impressive amount of impressively sharp teeth, and its tongue curled around the outside of Karina's forearm and back around the inside. Yellow and black eyes seemed to look into her soul and know all of her deepest secrets.

Kim snapped out of her reverie as she realized Karina was still talking. "... and they wrap around each other on my back". Karina turned around and pulled up her tank top to show Kim.

"Eep!" Kim didn't have anything else she could think of to say at this. Did Karina actually pull her shirt up over her shoulders, right in front of her? Right here in public, in front of everybody? And she wasn't even wearing a bra! Although Kim didn't even keep that thought for long, once she started looking at the woman's back. My god, that was incredible. The two creatures seemed to writhe as Karina flexed her back and shoulders. Oh wow, oh wow. Wow.

Fortunately, Karina pulled the shirt down and turned back to Kim, since Kim had been just about to reach out and touch them. That would have been beyond embarrassing.

"Anyway, there are more on my legs, a couple of snakes and a succubus, but you can't see them with the stockings." Kim found herself disappointed to hear that there was even more she wouldn't be able to see, although she had to admit, those black stockings were darn sexy. Was that a seam running up the back? Wow. Maybe she should get a pair like that. She could wear them with the little black dress she still had in the closet and hadn't had a chance to wear lately, assuming she ever got another chance to wear it. Maybe at graduation? Hmm.

Kim finally found her voice. It was a little small and husky. "Wow, Karina. Just, wow. Those are... I don't have words. Thank you for showing me."

"No problem, Kim. It's always fun to have a chance to show them off. I kind of like the attention."

"They are attention-getting. And you don't mind everybody looking at them?"

"Not as long as they do it respectfully, and don't drool or say stupid shit. You wouldn't ink yourself up like this if you didn't want people looking."

"I guess not. I sure didn't mind looking. And I'll try not to say anything too stupid."

"You haven't so far. And now I should get to making your drinks."

Kim watched in fascination as Karina worked the espresso machine, the deft, economical movements reminding her of a master sushi chef she'd helped once, who had thanked her by turning several pounds of fish and rice and other unidentifiable things into the best three-hour meal of her life, seemingly by flashing his knife and snapping his fingers. Kim pulled herself back to conscious thought as she remembered something.

"Oh, I wanted to ask about your hair. How do you get those designs?"

"You like it? I use ground-up pastel chalk. What I do is, I get my hair wet and dip my fingers into some water with a little bit of Elmer's glue dissolved in, then into the chalk, a different color on each finger, and run them through. It washes out after a few days, then I do new ones. My hair's really thick, so you can't even notice the glue." She grabbed Kim's hands (pretty fast moves there, Kim thought, impressed) and started combing Kim's fingers through her hair to demonstrate. "See?"

Whoah. That was - forward. And a little unexpected. Kim had to admit, though, that it felt kind of nice. Thick was right. Kim couldn't take her eyes off the way the patterns shifted and flowed as Kim ran her fingers through Karina's hair. Kim had a sudden image of herself running her hands through Shego's luxuriant hair like that. So much fun! I mean, my god, it goes all the way down to her butt, of course it would be fun to play with. She shook her head to clear the image of Shego with all those colors and all those designs in her hair.

Kim wondered what she would look like with those in her hair. Probably not a good idea. It sure was cool, though. Maybe she could get Karina to do it for Halloween? "I do like it. It's spankin'! How do you do the stripes, though?"

"Oh, those are permanent. Every time it grows out a quarter-inch or so, I put another one on over the roots, always in a different color. My girlfriend does them."

"Cool. Your girlfriend plays the cello while you read poetry, right?"

"Yeah, just stream of consciousness stuff, think Patti Smith and Lou Reed and William S. Burroughs all sharing a mind, without all the drug references, while Seychelle jams. You can get some wild sounds out of a cello if you put a pickup on it. It comes out somewhere between Rasputina and early Velvet Underground. We perform here a few nights a month, no regular schedule, just whenever we get inspired. You should come by some time. I'll let Shannon know the next time we're gonna play."

Kim wasn't sure who all of those people were, but she had decided that if someone as interesting as Karina was into them, they should be pretty interesting. And what the heck would an amplified cello sound like? She was looking forward to doing some more research. She had been discovering a lot of new things lately, even if some of them could be a little distracting and time-consuming.

Kim didn't know much about poetry, other than what she'd read for English class. She didn't think stream of consciousness poetry was going to sound anything like Emily Dickinson or Thoreau. It probably wasn't going even to rhyme. She doubted that was the point.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Thank you. Um, just one more question?"

The kid was getting flustered again. This should be good. Was she going to blush? "Sure."

"Umm, how do you blow your nose? And don't they get caught on things? Okay, that was two questions."

Karina couldn't help it. She burst out laughing. And, there went the blush. She tried to compose herself. "I'm sorry, Kim. I was just expecting... I mean, everybody asks me if they hurt, or what the hell was I thinking, or what do my parents think, or whatever, and that was so out of left field." Karina had stopped laughing, but she couldn't stop smiling. Kim apparently couldn't stop blushing.

Kim humphed a little bit. "Well, I thought they were pretty good questions. I mean, I would want to know before I did anything like that, not that I would ever do anything like that, I mean, not that I think there's anything wrong with it, I mean, I mean I should just shut up now." Kim had been looking more and more uncomfortable as she went on, and now looked miserable.

"It's cool, Kim. Those really are good questions. And the answers are 'carefully' and 'yes they do, before you get used to having them'. In fact, right after I got the first one, in my nose? I got this terrible cold, it was fucking awful. Three days I spent with my nose in a tissue, it was like barbed wire. I was about to rip the thing out with a pair of pliers. Then I decided I wasn't going to let a cold be stronger than me and stopped whining and wrote some seriously warped poetry. Although I think the cough syrup might have had something to do with that. And I got the one in my lip caught on somebody's tongue stud once. _That_ was fun."

"Ow. That sounds painful. Painful and embarrassing."

"True on both counts, but not as painful and embarrassing as other places it could get caught."

Kim was getting pret-ty tired of blushing at this point, especially in front of Karina. It was bad enough blushing in front of Shego, but at least she was used to that, and maybe that wasn't quite so bad any more. But Karina was smart and funny and was incredibly cool, and Kim really wanted the woman to like her and not think she was a silly high school kid. Karina was maybe the most interesting person she had ever met, except for Shego, of course, and Kim wanted to spend time with her and her girlfriend and Shego, and do whatever it was that people that didn't hang out at Bueno Nacho did.

Kim was starting to understand that her social circle was a little restricted. Yes, she travelled all over the world, and had met a lot of different people, but the only people she really ever spent any time with were Ron, Monique, and her parents. Now that she was spending time with Shego, and now Karina, it was clear that she had been missing a lot. It seemed to have to do with being around adults that did interesting things.

* * *

"Wow. Just wow, Shannon. Karina is - amazing, isn't she? I mean, aside from those incredible tattoos, and the things she does with her hair, the poetry and music she and her girlfriend do sounds ferociously interesting. I kind of want to see them, some time. Um, would you come with me? I still feel a little shy in front of her."

Shego's heart sped up and started pumping its fist. "Sure, Kimmie. I'd like that. Although you don't need to be shy - she and Shelley are really nice and friendly, even if they come off a little intense at first."

"I know - I just want her to like me, you know, and not think of me as some dumb kid."

"Oh, she likes you, trust me. If she didn't like you, you would know it."

"I guess. She, um, showed me her tattoos. The ones on her back. Um, all of them." Kim was pretty sure she was going to start blushing all over again at the memory.

"I saw, Princess. And I saw your reaction. I thought you'd turned into a statue there for a minute, except statues don't usually blush and swallow like that."

"Well, it's not every day a girl pulls up her shirt in front of me, even if it was just from behind. Especially someone like her." Kim was curious, now, what the ones on Karina's front looked like. It was clear that some of them continued around there, and down her butt, apparently. Kim flushed at the thought of Karina in a string bikini. "I mean, wow, just... I guess I already said that, huh? I'm don't seem to be very eloquent tonight, do I?"

"Sounds like you have a little crush, Pumpkin. You know she has a girlfriend, right?"

"Shannon! It's not a crush! She's just so cool, and so smart and I want to be her friend and hang out with her and do stuff and it's totally a crush, isn't it? Am I pathetic? And anyway, it's not that kind of crush. I mean, she's a girl, right?"

A sword went through Shego's heart. Yes, Kimmie. She's a girl. Like me. And you're not into girls. You don't have to remind me. "Last time I checked, Princess."

Damnit! Why had she said that? Watch your fucking mouth, Shego, or you're going to shove your foot into it so hard you'll choke to death. Fortunately, it seemed to have gone over Kimmie's head.

"So anyway", Kim continued, trying not to think about having a girlcrush on Karina, "she was telling me about the performances they do, and what it all sounded like. I didn't recognize most of the names, but she was talking about Patti Smith and the Velvet Underground? And Lou Reed and William S. Burroughs? Do you know them?"

Oh, this had potential. Shego could not wait to see how it played out. "The Velvet Underground was one of the more - iconic groups of the mid/late 60's, and Patti Smith was the same thing for the 70's. Neither of them sold a lot of records, but they influenced everybody that came after them. The joke is that the Velvets only sold a hundred copies of their first album, but everybody who bought it went out and started a band. Patti Smith had a little more success, but she only ever had that one hit single she did with a song Bruce Springsteen gave her. Mostly her stuff was stretched-out punk rock poetry, sorta."

Kim still had no idea what all that would sound like, but she was even more curious now. "Okay, now I really want to listen to them. Do you know about the other guys? Karina said something about drug references?"

"You could say that. That wasn't all they wrote about, but let's just say they covered the dark side of things when they wanted to. Lou Reed was one of the guys who founded the Velvet Underground, then went solo after it broke up. You might have heard 'Walk On the Wild Side' on the oldies station. Burroughs, well, I'll let you discover him on your own, Princess. There's nothing I could do to prepare you for that."

Now Kim was absolutely going to have to find about him. The tone in Shego's voice told her she didn't think Kim could handle it, and Kim knew a challenge when she heard one. So not letting Shego scare her off. But that song rang a bell.

"I think I've heard 'Walk On the Wild Side'. That's the one about all the girls coming to the big city? With that cool bass riff?"

Oh, perfect. Shego couldn't have asked for a better opening. "Right, Princess, except they were boys, not girls." And... countdown.

"Huh? Ah... Oh... Oh!"

Oh, that was fucking adorable, the way her eyes went all wide and her mouth popped open like that. The hand over her mouth and the blush on her cheeks were just the icing. This had certainly paid off.

Kim had recovered enough to get her voice back. She thought about the song and how she'd sung along to it in the car with her dad. No wonder he'd looked so uncomfortable. And she'd thought it was her singing. Okay, embarrassing, but so not the drama. She still felt a little silly, though.

"So that's what the title means. I guess I never really listened closely enough to the words, huh?"

"Apparently a lot of people never listened to the words, since he had a big Top 40 hit with it, so don't feel too bad."

"Okay, now I need to listen to it again. A lot more closely."

"I'll send you some MP3s when I get home. I gotta warn you, though, they don't sound like Britina."

"No, I don't suppose they would. I'm still incredibly curious, though."

* * *

Kim was in her room, doing her research and listening to the music Shego had sent her. Well. That was an intense read. She had discovered William S. Burroughs a few hours ago and it was like nothing she could have imagined. She could see what Karina meant by the drug references. A little creepy, but intense. There was a rhythm to the language that drew her in, even if it shocked her. She knew junkies existed, but she had never heard their stories laid out and made human like that. The Dr. Benway character was kind of hilarious, even if she would never want him as her doctor.

Patti Smith, on the other hand, was a force of nature. Kim could not get the woman's voice out of her head. She didn't understand what horses had to do with anything, but who cared? It sounded fantastic. Kim wondered idly what kind of tattoos she would have. According to the pictures she'd found, she didn't seem to have any, unless they were the more private kind.

Okay, enough with the reading. She had been meaning to get some new desktop wallpaper, and the Georgia O'Keeffe pieces she'd found on one of the tattoo sites were perfect. Now to try and decide which one she wanted first. The woman really had a thing for closeups of flowers, didn't she? Kim had already downloaded a few dozen, maybe she should just pick a different one every day.

Right. It was getting late, and Kim needed to get up early and go out to San Francisco to help the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence with a fundraiser. She would just take one last look through her favorite tattoo galleries and see if there was anything new, and check the women's soccer sites real quick, and go to bed.

* * *

Next time: Kim really doesn't like telling a lie; Shego really wishes she could keep her mouth shut.

* * *

**A/N:**

All I know about Medieval literature or Pierre de Ronsard is what I read on Wikipedia. Apparently his sonnets have been described as 'exquisite', but are they something that a modern feminist like Karina would find exquisite? If anyone actually knows about this stuff and can suggest something better, I'll happily change this, with attribution.

Hair chalk is a real thing, although everything I've seen has people rubbing the chalk rather vigorously over the hair. I'm going to say that running the powder through it with your fingers works just as well, because it's cool.

Lou Reed's _Walk On the Wild Side_ was a big hit in 1972-73. It talks about several of the drag queens and transexuals who were part of Andy Warhol's Factory scene in New York in the mid-to-late 1960's. It inexplicably (considering the subject matter) went to #16 on the Billboard charts.

For those who aren't familiar, Georgia O'Keeffe painted a large number of closeups of flowers that bear a stong resemblance to female genitalia. They're staggeringly beautiful and more than a little erotic. Seriously, go look them up.

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are a real thing, too. They do a lot of support, outreach, and good works in the gay community, and have a lot of fun doing it.

**Disclaimer:**

I not own anything Kim Possible related. You should know this.


	5. Just change the subject

**Just change the subject**

* * *

"Um, Mo? Can I ask you something?" Kim and Monique were in Kim's room, Monique going through Kim's closet critically, as usual. Kim was super nervous about bringing this up, but it had been bothering her for a while now, and she really really had to talk to someone. She sure couldn't ask her mom, or god forbid Ron, so who else but her BFF?

"Sure, GF. What's up?" Seeing the uncertain look on Kim's face, Monique was intrigued. This should be juicy.

"Um, well..." Come on, Kim. You can do this. You stop supervillains all the time, this is no big. Even though it kinda is. Okay, deep breath. "Here's the sitch, Mo. You know how I'm always going off and stopping bad guys, right? Stopping their evil plans, putting them in jail?"

Okay, Monique was definitely intrigued now. What on earth could make the great Kim Possible so nervous and uncomfortable? "Sure, Kim. You're always doing the missions, saving the world and all. You've told me all about it, remember?"

"Right, right. So you know that some of the villains I fight are really bad, and some are maybe less so? Weeell, would you think any less of me if, um, I, um, met up with one of them sometimes? I mean, she's not really all that bad, not really, not as much as I always thought she was..."

"Girl, you are _not_ getting together with the enemy!"

"Mo! It's not like that! We just have coffee when we're both off the clock. You know, like friendly enemies. Like Ralph and Sam?"

"What, you mean from the old cartoon show?"

"Yeah, exactly. She's nice, Mo, really. Believe it or not. I didn't at first. But she's smart, and funny, and knows about all kinds of stuff, and she treats me like an adult. We have grownup conversations about adult things, and it's sooo much fun."

Monique wasn't sure what to think about this. On the one hand, her BFF was a big girl, capable of handling herself in any situation and kicking anyone's ass who needed it. On the other hand, Kim did get a little tunnel-visiony when she got all crushy like this. Monique thought about that for a moment. Kim was with Ron, most definitely, and she had never, ever gotten _that_ kind of vibe from the girl, but she hadn't seen Kim have this level of excitement about somebody since she'd been crushing hard on Josh Mankey or that Hirotaka guy. And the girl had the same look in her eyes, that same smile.

Monique had a brief flash to Kim's seriously rather chaste relationship with Ron, then kicked herself. Seriously, girl? You thinking of Kim that way? No, just no. Kim was just - excitable - and pretty determined when she got an idea in her head. Of course, that wouldn't stop her from teasing her best friend a bit, 'cause that was just too much fun.

"So, it sounds like you have a little crush there, Kim. Is she cute?"

"Mo!" Kim yelled, blushing madly at the suggestion. "She's just a friend! And she's a girl. Besides, she's older. Way older." At least six or seven years, Kim thought.

Monique tried to keep from laughing too hard. "Girl, you are just too easy to tease."

"Yeah, I've heard that", Kim mumbled, not able to look at her friend. "So, do you have any actual helpful advice, or are you just going to tease me like she...like Shego does?"

Teasing her like Shego, huh? Was this what their fights were like? Shego teasing her about having crushes on other girls? About having a crush on her? From what she had heard about Shego, the woman loved to tease Kim, trying to embarrass her and get her distracted. Kim was awfully easy to tease that way, wasn't she? If Kim got this flustered when she teased her about this stuff, how bad would she get with Shego teasing her? And from the picture of her in Kim's locker, the green woman was hot enough that she could make a straight girl look twice.

"Okay, sorry GF. So are you asking me if I'm worried that you're hanging out with bad guys now, or if I think you're going to get corrupted by this friendly, grownup villainess, or are you maybe worried about what people would think if they found out about Ralph and Sam being best buds?"

"Um, maybe all of these?", Kim asked, almost inaudibly. Why was Mo smiling like that? Kim knew this was a bad idea.

"Okay, well, the first thing? If this was somebody really bad, and not just a little bad like you say, I'd be a lot more worried. If it was someone like that Shego woman you're always fighting with? Girl, I'd be questioning your sanity right about now. This chick doesn't put you in death traps or anything, right?"

Oh great, Mo. You _had_ to ask that, didn't you. Time to dissemble. "Uh, no, no." Not any more, at least. "Certainly nothing serious - it's all no big, trust me." Okay, that was close enough to the truth. She still didn't like having to say it.

"Okay, that's one, then. The second thing? I don't see Kim Possible getting corrupted by anybody. You'd probably corrupt her to the side of good if anything."

"Well, she did used to be good. She had some, you know, trauma, and went bad a while ago."

"See? Then it would be even easier. But as for the third thing? Girl, you'd better be _real_ careful about this. Heroes are _not_ supposed to be all buddy-buddy with the villains, no matter what all that fanfiction says. If word of this gets out? Getting crap from Bonnie about it is going to be the _least_ of your problems."

Okay, so that went better than she had expected. Although, the warning about getting caught kind of put a chill in her stomach. She imagined the headlines: "Hero and villain in secret get-togethers! Anything is Possible when these two share coffee and maybe more! Kim Possible and secret galpal Shego in coffeeshop tete-a-tete!" That didn't sound good at all.

Of course, they had spent how much time together, in public, without anyone catching on? Shego did stay pretty much off the radar, and Kim had helped so many people that even though she spent lots of time with all kinds of weirdos, the press pretty much gave her a blanket pass. Being only 16 years old, and her parents knowing such ferociously good lawyers, the paparazzi left her pretty much alone.

So okay, this was all a vote of confidence, right? Mo trusted her, trusted her judgement, and thought she could maybe turn Shego back to being a good guy, impossible as that might be. Still, it was good to hear. She could easily ignore how close Mo had come to the truth, and how close she had come to lying, at least with a little bit of work.

"Thanks, Mo. That helps a lot. And we are careful. All the people at the coffee shop we go to think she's just another normal person."

"Well, you keep this all on the DL, girlfriend, and don't let me hear about you going over to the dark side for a little bit of naughty fun, and I won't have to worry about you. Too much."

* * *

Kim and Ron were in Bueno Nacho, again, having lunch. Ron was going on about last night's Steel Toe match, and Kim was pretty bored. Wrestling was Ron's thing, and Monique's, for some reason. She wondered what Shego was doing. Probably listening to Drakken rant about some new plan she'd have to stop. Kim wondered which one of them was more bored right now. Probably her; Shego would be too annoyed to be bored.

Kim's phone dinged. She looked down at the screen. A text from "Ralph": "Coffee?" Dangit. She couldn't bail on Ron again. She texted back: "Not now. Later?"

"So anyway, KP, Knut Crusher had Steel Toe in a Reverse Deathlock hold, then Steel Toe flipped him and pulled out his badical new finishing move, a Spinning Overhead Slam, and bam - match over!" Ron's phone dinged. "Oh man, Felix just got Zombie Apocalypse VII! 150% more carnage than Zombie Apocalypse VI! Come on, Kim, you wanna go play?"

Oh, thank you, Felix. Thank you. "No, Ron, that's fine. You go."

"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you hanging."

"No, Ron, I'm good. I'll go shopping or something. There are a couple of new clothing stores I want to check out."

"Okay, KP, but you don't know what you're missing."

"I'm pretty sure I do", Kim muttered to herself as Ron rushed off. She grabbed up her phone and texted "Ralph": "Coffee! 10m?" All right. This day was starting to look a lot better. Kim smiled as she took the trays back to the trash.

Kim's phone dinged again as she was leaving. "15. cya there." Yep. Definitely looking better.

* * *

Kim was waiting outside of Espresso Hell when Shego got there. "What's the matter, Princess? Waiting for your subject to open the door?", she teased with a larger smile than she had intended.

"Hey, Shannon! Thank you for saving me from extreme boredom. Come on, we have to go shopping."

"Wha? Shopping? Princess, I went to the grocery store yesterday. I want coffee."

"So do I, but, um, Ron went to play video games and I told him I was going to go shopping instead. So, first we go shopping, then we have coffee", Kim explained, grabbing Shego's arm and leading her off.

Shego had known Kim for several years now, and she knew what the hero was like, but she still marveled at how honest the girl was. "So you can't even tell a little-bitty lie, can you, Pumpkin? That's actually really sweet. And no, I'm not being sarcastic. Believe it or not." Shego almost could not believe it.

Kim beamed at that. "See? I knew there was hope for you. Underneath that cranky, abrasive, sarcastic exterior, you're really a nice person."

Shego gasped. "You wound me! Impugning my evil character with slanderous accusations of decency, and - niceness! Recant, or I shall be forced to challenge you to a duel."

Kim grinned wider. "What, so I can kick your butt again?"

"What do you mean, again? Like you've ever kicked my butt at all."

"I seem to recall something the other week where I knocked you all over the lair."

"Was that before or after I bounced you off the walls a half a dozen times?"

They carried on like this, squabbling amiably, as they walked down the street, Kim not really noticing how close they were to each other, Shego all too aware of it.

* * *

They were sitting in Espresso Hell, sipping their first round of mochas, Kim enjoying the blueberry syrup and Shego reflecting on the past few hours. Shego could not believe she had just spent nearly an hour trying on shoes, willingly. Up until today, she had never seen the appeal. Apparently, it had to do with being in Kim's company. Shego would happily clean out sewer drains in Kim's company. Although, looking back on the afternoon, those sandals with the little straps were awfully cute, which was why she had bought two pairs of them, one for her and one for Kim.

As for the boots, well, knee-high black leather boots with two-inch heels and speedlaces always added to a girl's badass villainous image. Even if the girl in question wasn't trying to be so villainous these days. Villainous or not, they went perfectly with the painted-on black jeans, which was why she had bought three pairs of those, one of which she had been wearing since she had first tried them on.

Kim seemed to have noticed as well. "You know, Shannon, those boots look really hot on you. Um, I mean, they'd look hot on anybody, but, um, er, they go really well with your look. And those pants." You can shut up any time now, Kim, before you say anything about how tight the pants are. "You know, the whole tough-girl kick-butt look." Yeah, just shutting up now.

Shego had pretty much stopped hearing anything after 'look really hot on you'. She actually smiled shyly as she looked down at her lower legs, then back up at Kim and asked "You think so? I hoped you'd like them. That's exactly the look I was going for. 'Cause, you know, I am a kick-ass tough girl. With a great ass." And I'd love to have you discover just how great, Princess, along with all the rest of it. You can just peel these pants down and when you discover I'm going commando, you can say 'Oh! Shego! Do you shave that just for me? Can I please have a little taste?' Damnit, Shego, aren't you supposed be not doing this sort of thing right in front of her? Oh, fuck it. 'Oh, Shego, that's delicious. I need more, more. Yummmm...'

"Um, Shannon? Are you still there? You're looking a little lost." Kim could not interpret the smile on Shego's face, but wherever she was, it seemed to be a happy place.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, Kimmie. I was just thinking about something. Anyway, yeah, gotta keep up the bad girl image, even when I'm off the clock."

"Yeah, I have to agree, you do have that. It's hard, sometimes, to remember that you're not really all that bad, at least not all the time."

"Well, it's not all image, you know. Some of it is, most of it's not. The trick is to not let people know how much of it is. Can't let your enemies think you have any weak spots." Well, that particular cat's out of the bag for you, now, isn't it, Shego? A little red-haired cat named Kim, and she'd better never find out how much you want her to curl up in your lap so you can pet her and scratch her behind the ears.

* * *

"Okay, Shannon? Can I ask you a question? Do you have any tattoos? I mean, they kind of go with the bad girl thing, right?"

"No, Princess. There's never been anything I was ready to have on my skin for the rest of my life." Shego thought about how specific that mostly-truth was. A tattoo was forever, and while Shego was happy and willing to have Kim tattooed on any and every inch of her, she wasn't about to do it if the together part wasn't actually happening. Which meant she would never have a tattoo. Not that she didn't want to have Kim on her skin for the rest of her life; she wanted that quite desperately. Kim was already under her skin, why couldn't she be on it as well?

"Huh. I sort of expected you to have some kind of, you know, evil tattoos. Death heads shooting flames, or you sitting on a throne made from the skulls of your enemies or something. Or maybe Vampirella." Kim blushed a little at the fact that she knew about Vampirella.

"I think you read too much fantasy, Pumpkin. That stuff will rot your mind." Although now that the idea was in her head, a throne made from the skulls of her enemies did sound kind of cool, if cliché. Maybe a few years ago she might have done it, back when she was drinking too much. It was a good thing she hadn't thought of it then.

"Actually, Ron had a couple of Frank Frazetta calendars. He still does, actually. They're a little over the top." Kim had tried to imagine herself naked, riding a horse and holding a sword dripping blood, but could never take the idea seriously. Ron, of course, had no problem with it, except for the obvious one where all of the blood would leave his brain, leaving that goofier-than-usual look on his face.

"That they are. Little bit too much guy-wank supermacho fantasy for my taste. Olivia de Berardinis is a little more my style. Erotic, but the models are in control of their own sexuality."

That name sounded familiar. Kim was pretty sure she'd run across it during one of her tattoo research sessions. Oh. Oh! Now she remembered. She did those... Oh. _Those_. Erotic was definitely a good word to describe them. They certainly stayed with you. Kim had a few of them in the mission reports folder just in case she ever needed to refer to them for some reason. She probably shouldn't mention this to Shego.

"Anyway, to change the subject a little. I've always wondered what it would be like to have a tattoo. I used to think about a butterfly on my hip, or a rose on my shoulder or something girly like that, not that I'd ever do it or anything. But since meeting Karina? I keep thinking about something more interesting, like flowering vines going up and down my legs, calla lilies or something. Wouldn't that just freak everybody out?"

It certainly freaked Shego out, in a very good way that left her momentarily incapable of doing anything but imagining that. "Yeah, Kimmie, that would look great, especially against that pale redhead skin. And you could have hummingbirds or something hovering around, poking into them." Shego very much hoped Kim wasn't picking up on the symbolism in that imagery. She didn't seem to be.

"Ooh, spankin'! I used to imagine getting a hummingbird, too. I guess I'd need more than one, huh?"

"Oh, at least a dozen. They're attracted to red, you know, so you'd probably have a lot. And on your back, you can have a Bird of Paradise or something. The bird and the flowers."

"Oh! I saw those on a National Geographic special. They're beautiful, and have incredible tail feathers in all these amazing colors."

"Yeah, it's like God broke out all the colors in the paintbox that day. The flowers are just about as beautiful. All those tropical plants and animals are."

"That's true. I've been to the Amazon a couple of times on missions, and I just wanted to bring everything back. You can't bring anything, though. A lot of it's protected, and none of it would survive in this climate anyway. I guess I'll just have to get tattoos of it all, then. Ooh, more research to do! Cool!"

"I gotta say, Kimmie, you took to this idea pretty quickly."

"Well, it _is_ just fantasy, right? Anyway, now that we've covered my skin with ink, do you want to hear about my latest mission?"

Fantasy was right. Shego hoped she would be able to wait until she got home to start thinking seriously about Kim's skin covered in tattoos. It would certainly make things easier, and much less potentially embarrassing. Until then, any change of subject would be a blessing.

"Sure, Kimmie, hit me."

"Well, Dementor had some crazy stuff that was going to freeze all the water in the oceans for some reason; he called it Ice-nine, which isn't really much of a supervillainous name, when you think about it. Ron and I had to sneak past some frankly pathetic henchmen. The man is really becoming a cheapskate. And the security? Barely a single perimeter alarm."

"So, did Stoppable manage to keep his pants on this time?", Shego asked with a smirk. She doubted it very much.

"Um, no. There was an incident with some sharp corners in an air vent, and, well..." Kim wasn't surprised it had happened; she just wished he would learn not to wear Fearless Ferret underwear on a mission if he didn't want people to make fun of him.

"Ah hahah! That boy is so damn predictable. Tell me, did he ever consider just getting a pair of suspenders? Or a belt? I mean, what kind of idiot loses his pants every other time he leaves the house and doesn't think to do something about it?"

"Shannon! Ron is not an idiot, and I'd very much like you to remember that!" Kim was getting a bit steamed. They had been over this, several times.

"No, seriously, Princess. I know he's your best friend and all, but I think he has brain damage." Shego was half-convinced this was the case. Sure, she'd admit that the kid was scarily competent in his incompetence, even if she'd never admit it out loud. For god's sake, he had stopped any number of Drakken's doomsday machines just by banging into them the right way, but there was just something wrong with him. He seemed to have an emotional age of about 12.

"Shannon, enough. He _is_ my best friend, and I don't want to hear people running him down. Especially you." Kim was past steamed and into angry now.

Shego knew that she should apologize now and change the subject. She knew she was pushing Kim too far, and she was well aware of the warning signs in Kim's voice, and face, and body language. But the 'especially you' line had stuck in her craw, somehow. Here she was, the one person in the world who wanted everything for Kim, who would do anything to see her happy, so who else was qualified to enlighten the girl?

"Well, if not me, who else? I've seen him eat, you know. I just think you can do better." Well, that was out. Shego immediately regretted it. She hadn't expected to ever say that, out loud. She had resolved that she would never stoop to such a low blow, because she knew how much it would hurt her Kimmie. Shego reflected for a moment on how much trouble her stubbornness had gotten her into over the years. This may have been the worst, though. Kim was truly pissed.

"Okay, you know what, 'Shannon'? I don't need this crap. I thought you wanted to change, I thought you could maybe keep your word. I wanted you to, I hoped you would. I really did. But, apparently, you'll never change. You're always going to be a cold, mean, evil, inconsiderate bitch! So forget it. We're done. I'll see you the next time I kick your ass and arrest you." Kim grabbed her bags and stood up, heading for the door.

"Princess! Wait!" Shego jumped up to go after her. Yeah, the worst.

"No! Just leave me alone. Don't try and follow me." Kim was livid now. Damnit! She should have known this wouldn't work. Not with that woman. She stormed off, ignoring the stares from Karina and the others at the counter. She yanked the door open a little more vigorously than necessary and stomped out.

Shego watched forlornly as Kim left. "Shit."

Karina came over and sat down. "Shannon? What just happened? What did you say to her?"

"Oh, Karina. I... I'm such a fucking idiot. I can't keep my damn mouth shut for two minutes and I don't know when to stop and I fucked it all up. Damnit!" Shego was afraid she was going to cry. She was not going to let that happen. Not in public.

"You were teasing her again, huh? Stuck it in a little too deep?" When would Shannon ever learn? Karina wanted to smack her, but settled for moving over and giving her a tight hug. Eventually, Shannon stopped shaking and snuffled a few times. Karina pulled back and gave her a close inspection. Shannon's eyes were kind of red.

"Shan? It's okay. You need a good cry before you can go and apologize. It puts things in perspective."

"I'm not crying, damnit. It's your stupid hair dye. What do you use - cayenne pepper?"

"Riigghht. Don't worry, I promise I won't tell anyone. Your superbutch facade is safe with me."

"What do you mean, facade?"

"Oh please. Yeah, you're tough, and badass, and all scary without even trying, but seriously? You have a soft, gooey center. I've heard you singing Dionne Warwick in the shower, remember?" Karina could not help teasing Shannon a little, payback being delicious in her opinion. "The moment I wake up, before I put on my makeup, I say a little prayer for you..."

"Enough! Stop, I beg you. God, you're as bad as Kim, I swear."

* * *

Next time: Kim and Shego each have to deal with the aftermath.

* * *

**A/N:**

Ice-nine is, of course, from Kurt Vonnegut's "Cat's Cradle", where the chances of it doing exactly this are part of the plot.

"I Say a Little Prayer", by Burt Bacharach and Hal David, does not, surprisingly, belong to me. I can totally see Shego singing it in the shower now, though.

**Disclaimer:**

I not own anything Kim Possible related. You should know this.


	6. Under your skin

**Under your skin**

* * *

Kim was in her room, reading "Crime and Punishment" a little sullenly. She was still angry about what Shego had said the other night. Here she was, thinking that they could actually spend some time on civil terms, and it had started out that way, too. It had started out so well, actually, that she had been completely fooled. Which just made her more angry, at herself as well as at Shego. How could she have been so stupid as to have fallen for Shego's crap? 'Sure, Princess. I'll be good'. No more insulting her friends, my foot. Heck, this whole thing was probably just a way for Shego to mess with her.

What hurt the most, even if she hated to admit it, was that on some level, Shego actually kind of had a point. Would it kill Ron to wear a belt? Maybe she should buy him one. Would he ever wear it? Would it even work? Kim suspected that it wouldn't. Maybe suspenders? Okay, so they looked kind of dorky, but then again, Ron looked kind of dorky. A look that worked for him, Kim thought proudly. That was her Ron. Embrace your dorkiness. Still, why didn't he ever think of these things? Was he expecting her to do it, or did he not even think about it? The boy was absent-minded, but after having your pants fall down enough times, eventually even the most clueless guy would catch on.

Which brought her to the worst thing that Shego had said, the thing that had ended it between them. 'You can do better.' That sentence burned at her more than anything else from her and Shego's strange, tempestuous relationship. How dare she? How dare she presume to understand anything about her and Ron, or how good they were for each other? And especially, Kim thought in the deepest, most private corner of her mind, how dare she bring up the shameful, secret doubts Kim herself had been having lately?

Was it too much to ask for Ron to take her out to do something she might want to do, instead of Bueno Nacho every single time, or stupid movies with nothing but stuff blowing up? Shouldn't a good boyfriend be willing to go to a chick flick, or at least something romantic with a plot and actual characters, with his girlfriend without complaining and moaning about it? Sometimes, it seemed like Ron just took her for granted. It was like they were still just best friends, but they kissed sometimes.

She wished she could talk to Monique about all this, but she knew what the other girl would say. "I still don't understand why you're going out with him, instead of somebody like Josh or Felix." That's what she always said when this came up. Not very helpful, Mo. That's why this never came up any more. She was just going to have to figure it out on her own.

Her mind went back, again, to that afternoon. There was that other thing Shego had said. Why did she have to be embarrassed about her boyfriend every time they went out to eat? It was cute at first, all part of the essential Ronness, but watching him stuff an entire empachanga in his mouth at once had gotten old really quickly. Like in middle school. Shego had excellent table manners, Kim remembered unhappily.

Thinking about Shego just made her angry all over again. Damn that woman. Nobody else could get under her skin like that, make her mad enough to swear. Kim slammed the book down in frustration, which didn't help any. She was going to have to reread those last six paragraphs _again_.

Kim's internal monologue was interrupted by the beeping of the Kimmunicator. She grabbed it like a life preserver. Anything to take her mind off these thoughts. "What's the sitch, Wade?"

"Just got a hit on the site, Kim. Shego has been spotted breaking into the Middleton High-Frequency Laser Laboratory."

Oh, this was perfect. She could show Shego just how much she didn't like people insulting her friends, and take out some of her anger and frustration at the same time. "Any sign of Drakken?"

"No, Kim. Just Shego. I'll call Ron and you can..."

"No, Wade. I've got this. I can take care of her myself. I have a bone to pick with her anyway."

"A bone to pick? Something going on?"

"Long story. Let's just say she has some things to answer for. I'm on my way."

* * *

Kim crept silently through the deserted laser research facility. According to Wade, Shego was in a lab somewhere on the northeast side. The fact that the only lights in the building seemed to be coming from the room down the hall on the right seemed to be a clue that she had found the right place. The sounds of drawers opening and closing coming through the open door were confirmation. Okay, let's get this over with. Kim gathered herself and burst through the door.

"Shego! Back to your old ways, I see. And I'm back to kicking your butt!"

"Hey, Princess. I'm glad you came. You know, they have some really cool stuff here. I'm surprised Dr. D. never noticed this place." The target of Kim's attention and irritation looked up from the cabinet she had been going through and turned to Kim, an odd look on her face.

"I don't have anything to say to you, Shego. Let's just get this over with." Kim took up a fighting stance.

"I do. I... I'm sorry, Kimmie, okay? For the other day? I pushed it too far and I should have just shut up about it", Shego said with a contrite tone.

Kim was not expecting this. The combination of the apology and the sadness in Shego's voice caused most, but not all, of Kim's anger to drain away. "Yes you did, Shego. I told you to stop, I told you it was bothering me, and you wouldn't take no for an answer. We can't keep doing this - whatever it is we're doing - if this is the way you're going to act."

"I know, I know. Look, I've had a caustic personality all my life. If you had my life growing up you would too. I tease everybody, I make fun of everything. It's just the way I am. You have to know by now that I don't mean anything by it."

Kim now wanted to know about Shego's life growing up. This was so not the time, though. "You may not mean it, but it doesn't aways sound that way. It can be fun for a while, but you have to know when to stop. Remember the talk we had?"

"You're right. I promise to listen from now on." I don't want to lose you, Kimmie. Not when you're this close. "But remember how I said I'd probably screw up once in a while, at first. Old habits and all. This is all kinda new to me too, you know."

Kim had to admit that, considering how different things had become between them, Shego's insults - and comment - from the other night didn't seem as bad as they had at the time. Compared to their usual interaction, they were just snarky remarks that cut a little too close for comfort. Certainly nothing near as bad as Bonnie gave her on a daily basis. Kim thought about how she would have reacted if Monique had said the same thing. A little shocked, maybe, since Mo was way too nice to say it so bluntly, but Kim wouldn't have gone off on her like that. Heck, she'd've probably started crying on Mo's shoulder. Kim was struck by the realization that she had gotten so angry because it was Shego who had said it.

"Well, I kind of overreacted a little bit. It's just that... I was enjoying how well we were getting along, how nice a day we'd been having, and how... how nice you were being. And then you were back to being the same old Shego, and it really hurt."

Shego's insides started to unclench from the state they had been in for the last few days. It seemed like Kimmie was going to forgive her. Maybe she hadn't ruined this after all. Still, it wouldn't do to act too happy about it.

"Eh, I sort of deserved it. I can be a mean, evil, inconsiderate bitch sometimes, although I draw the line at cold. I can be very warm, once you get to know me. I never should have said what I said, though."

"No you shouldn't have. But I think I can forgive you. This time."

There won't be a next time. I promise. I won't take this kind of chance again. "Thank you, Kimmie. So, can we leave now? Coffee's on me tonight. Or we can fight a bit, since we're here."

"Wade called the police already. They'll be here any minute."

"Well, coffee it is, then. Let's go." Shego headed towards the door.

"What? You're just going to abandon the job again? Doesn't Drakken expect you to bring that back? What are you trying to steal, anyway?"

"I'm not stealing anything, Princess. I just made this up and left that message on your site so I could talk to you and apologize."

"What? You just... You could have called, you know."

"I did call! I called, I texted, you didn't respond to anything. What was I going to do, come to your house?" Shego thought about coming in through Kimmie's window, probably catching her in the middle of doing her homework. Shego would give her a heartfelt, and possibly tearful, apology and Kimmie would forgive her and they would be friends again. Right, that seemed likely. The sneaking-into-her-room thing sounded so romantic, but that kind of thing only worked on TV. In reality, Kim would scream and attack her and have her arrested, especially in the mood she was in right now.

"Oh. Right. Well, I was mad at you. I didn't want to talk to you, I wanted to be mad at you."

"Yeah, I can understand that. You certainly had a good reason to. Anyway, I helped you get that out of your system, plus I got you out of the house."

"Most of it out of my system. I haven't completely forgiven you yet."

"Whatever. Now isn't this better than moping around your room, being mad at me? You're nowhere near emo enough to really enjoy that."

"I guess. But still. I was doing my summer reading. Dostoyevsky."

"Well see, I saved you from that. And now you're out and Stoppable-free, and we can have coffee without you having to make up an excuse."

"I know I should be arguing with that somehow. But still, is there any good reason I shouldn't just have you arrested?"

"For breaking and entering?"

"Well, it's a crime." That sounded lame even to Kim.

"Because then you wouldn't be able to have coffee with me?"

"Whatever." Kim rolled her eyes. "Let's just go. And I'm having double shots of syrup tonight."

* * *

Kim stirred her mocha thoughtfully as she considered the recent events. Distractedly, she thought that the raspberry was by far her favorite flavor. But this was just keeping her from the real thoughts that were on her mind. She had confronted Shego, who had, rather unexpectedly, immediately apologized before Kim could even say anything. Kim had just about forgiven her, although it was still a little raw and uncomfortable between them. As was the silence right now. It seemed that she would have to break it.

"Shannon?", Kim started, hesitantly. "About what you said." Seeing the miserable look on Shego's face, Kim almost wished she hadn't said anything.

"Pumpkin. I'm so very, very sorry. But I don't know how many more times I can apologize and promise not to do it again. You're just going to have to trust me."

"No, Shannon. That's not what I was going to say. I already forgave you. And I do trust you." How strange was that to say, Kim thought. "I was... I just..." Okay, this was even harder than she had thought it would be. "I was going to say that... I kind of agree with you, a little. Okay, maybe a lot. I just didn't like that you had said it."

Shego was knocked back, mentally. Did she just say...? "Kimmie?", she asked, almost whispering. She fought the urge to squeeze the girl's hand.

Kim was miserable herself by now. Forcing herself not to cry, she bulled on. "I... I love Ron. He's my best friend in all the world, since we were 4 years old, he has my back no matter what happens, and I don't know what I would do without him. But..." Oh god, why was this so difficult? Probably because it made her feel so guilty to even think about it, let alone say it out loud, especially to Shego, with all their history. Still, she had gotten this far. She was darn well going to go through with it. She gathered her strength. "But he's not a very good boyfriend." There. She had said it, out loud. To somebody else. A feeling of relief flowed through her, mixing with and even somewhat replacing the guilt.

Now that she had gotten it out in the open, she couldn't stop. "I mean, he never wants to do anything but go to Bueno Nacho and play video games, or watch wrestling, or go to stupid movies. He has never once said 'Hey, KP, your turn to choose the movie.' I tried to get him to watch _Amelie_, which is _not_ just a chick flick, and he screamed like I'd told him I'd gotten a pet monkey. He, he shoves his food in his mouth all at once and he talks with his mouth full, and the one time I suggested we go out for Thai food, he just about freaked!" Kim was getting rather emotional now, the tears almost too close to keep back.

Shego had an overwhelming desire to take Kim and hug her until all her sadness, and pain, and bad thoughts went away, to hold her tightly and never, ever let go of her. She settled for taking Kim's hands in hers and making comforting noises. "Princess. Kimmie. Kim." That got Kim's attention. She looked up, sniffling. "You - you called me Kim.", she said, in wonderment, surprised at how good it made her feel.

"Well, don't expect it to happen too often, Cupcake." Shego teased, but there was no heat behind it. "I just thought you needed some support. I know how hard that must have been to say. Believe it or not, I don't hate the guy. God, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually respect him. More or less. He may _act_ like a buffoon, but how many times now has he destroyed Drakken's machines, even if it was by accident? It's like he has buffoon-fu. And the boy has balls, I'll tell you that. Even with the mystical whatsis powers, he still gets his ass kicked a lot, and he keeps coming back for more. He never even thinks about giving up. He's so loyal to you it's almost embarrassing.

"But that's not enough. Not for a boyfriend. The reason I said what I did, other than because I'm an inconsiderate bitch, is that you really do deserve someone who is up to your standards, someone who can teach you new things, and wants to learn new things from you. Someone who is your equal, intellectually." Someone like me, Kimmie. "You're one of the smartest people I know who's not batshit insane." At Kim's surprised look, she continued. "Hell, your whole family are geniuses, of course you're going to be brilliant."

Kim was more than surprised to hear Shego say this. She was completely blown away that the woman would ever admit any of it, and taken aback at how much better she felt that she had. A smile started growing across her face, taking the potential tears and some of her discomfort with it. It didn't take all of it, though.

"You really mean that."

"Yes, Kimmie, I really do. Even the parts about Stoppable." Shego pretended to huff like she didn't really care, for the sake of appearances.

This set Kim's smile to full glow. "You don't know how good that makes me feel, Shannon. Thank you." Shego squeezed Kim's hands in response, then realized that she was still holding them and let them go, pulling back a little awkwardly. Both of them felt the loss, if one of them didn't really understand why.

Kim still had all that discomfort floating around, though. "Shannon, what am I going to do? I feel so guilty being embarrassed by my boyfriend."

"You need to sit him down and have a talk with him, Princess." No you don't, you need to dump his sorry ass. I can help with that. No, Shego. Be good, remember? She sighed. "Look, Kimmie. You're not the first girl who's had to tell her boyfriend that he needs to grow up or hit the road. And you're not the first couple who had to go from being good friends to being lovers. It can be a difficult transition. Everything changes between you, and a lot of your old habits won't do any more."

Shego still couldn't believe she was actually giving the girl she was painfully in love with relationship advice, especially about the buffoon. Sigh. _Fine_. _Stoppable_. Damn you, Kim Possible. How did you manage to get under my skin like this? I can't even insult your buffonish boyfriend in my own head.

This was an evening of surprises for Kim. The last thing she had expected to hear from Shego was how to fix things with Ron. She had figured that Shego would tell her to dump him for someone better. This woman. She was a lot deeper, a lot more complex than Kim had ever imagined. No wonder she liked her so much. And that thought was yet another surprise, Kim realized. She really _did_ like Shego. Not as much as Ron or Monique, not yet, but she was getting there.

She thought about Shego's advice. It was actually really good advice. She wasn't looking forward to following it, though. That would be a very painful conversation. She went over what Shego had said. Lovers? She and Ron were boyfriend-girlfriend, but did that make them lovers? That was - a whole level more than they had ever considered. At least she hadn't. That implied... other things, things she had never even thought about doing.

Why not? She was a normal, healthy teenager. Why wasn't she thinking about - that? She guessed it was because she was so busy with school and cheerleading and saving the world and all. Kim pushed those uncomfortable thoughts away. She could deal with all that later.

"Thank you, Shannon. That was... exactly what I needed to hear. But gawd, it's going to be so hard to do. You know how Ron is. He's not going to handle it well. He's probably going to freak out and be all hurt and go off and sulk."

"Well, if he does care about you, if he really is your friend, he'll get over it, and come back. And if he has any brains in his head at all, he'll listen and get his shit together." Shego wasn't at all convinced there was anything but straw up there, but she had been wrong before. For Kimmie's sake, she almost hoped she was this time. Almost.

"Yeah, I suppose. I can do anything, I can do this. I'm just not looking forward to it. Um, can we change the subject now?"

"Sure, Princess. You can answer a question."

Kim was a little worried by that. She asked, cautiously, "What kind of question?"

"Not that kind of question, I promise. How did you get into the whole hero thing?"

"Oh, that. Funny story, actually. It was a total accident. Ron and I were in middle school, and I had set up a website to get after-school jobs, babysitting and stuff. One day, this rich guy got stuck in his own laser security grid, and was trying to get in touch with Team Impossible, and got kimpossible-dot-com by mistake. Admittedly, he was typing with his toe, so I'm surprised he didn't wind up on some porn site.

"Anyway, Ron and I jumped on it and went over to his mansion. Ron had just gotten Rufus, he was just a tiny little thing, and he unlocked the front gate for us. Once we were in, it was no big to jump through all the lasers, what with all the cheerleading practice and the martial arts. After that, I was hooked. And Ron, of course, was always right by my side."

Shego couldn't help herself, she grimaced a little at the mention of Stoppable. Kim didn't miss it.

"I know you don't like Ron, but he'll always be in my life, one way or another, so you're just going to have to deal with it."

"It's not that I don't like him. Oh, hell, Princess. I kinda do like him, a bit. He grows on you, sort of like that weird mangy dog that won't stop following you around." It's just that I can't bear the thought of him touching you. Quick, change the subject again. "Team Impossible, huh? I bet those assholes weren't too happy about losing business to a freebie."

"Oh, we had a talk a little while back. They were angry with me for making them look bad by not charging people, but I managed to straighten them out. They're strictly pro bono now." Kim smiled a little proudly at that. Heroing should not be a for-profit business.

"Damn, girl. You really can do anything. Those guys were dyed-in-the-wool capitalists."

"Eh, no big. I can be very persuasive when I want to be."

"Don't I know it, Princess. Don't I know it."

* * *

They were on their second mochas when Shego finally worked up the courage to do the thing she had wanted to do for a while now. "Hey, Pumpkin, I have a little present for you."

A present? Kim liked presents. "Oooh, what'd you get me? What'd you get me?"

Oh god, you're so adorable. "Give me your phone."

Confused, Kim handed it over. What was going on?

"I'm giving you my very secret number, Kimmie. This will reach me any time, pretty much anywhere on the planet. And before you ask, the number is untraceable. Well, you can trace it, but it'll trace back to a noodle shop in Kuala Lumpur."

Kim was vibrating with excitement as Shego gave the phone back. This was - epic. Shego actually trusted her enough to give her her freaking private phone number. Kim stared at the screen in happy amazement. "Thank you, Shannon. This means you really trust me now. We really are friends, huh?"

"I guess so." As strange as _that_ sounded, Shego realized it was true. And she _liked_ it. She liked it a lot. "And yes, I trust you. You realize how important this is, right? You could seriously fuck up my life if you let that get into the wrong hands."

"I understand, Shannon. I promise I will keep your trust." She couldn't take her eyes off the number. "You put yourself in as 'Shannon', not 'Ralph', huh?

"Do you want to explain to Stoppable why some guy named Ralph is calling you all the time? You are in my phone as 'Sam', though."

"Good point. Ooh, let's test it out." Kim pulled up the number and hit 'call'.

"No, wait, Kimmie! Don't... You can't do that..." Shego looked panicked.

_beep-beep-be-beep_

"Oh, darnit, not Wade. I gotta answer this, sorry." Kim pulled out her Kimmunicator, then looked confused.

_beep-beep-be-beep_

Kim looked up for the source of the sound, which was definitely not coming from the device in her hand. Shego was now looking positively mortified. She was actually blushing. There was another _beep-beep-be-beep_. It came from Shego's pocket.

Kim's smile started small and quickly became huge. "Your... Your ringtone for me is the Kimmunicator?"

Shego wished she could shrink down like Mego and disappear. She hadn't been so embarrassed since that time she'd had the neuro-whatsis chip and Kimmie had seen her wearing that ridiculous apron. "Umm. Uh. I sorta... Yes, damnit! It is. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Nope! I think it's sweet. And incredibly cute." Seeing the look on Shego's face, Kim couldn't help it. She sing-songed "Shego is a softie, Shego is a softie, just a big old softie."

"Well, it reminds me of you. It's incredibly annoying", Shego growled.

"Just a big old Cuddle Buddy..."

"Princess..." Shego tried to sound pissed off, but she was trying too hard not to smile to do a very good job of it.

* * *

Next time: Somebody's up to their old tricks. Aren't they?

* * *

**A/N**:

I've wanted to write that last scene for a while now. It was one of the first ones I thought of when I started working on this story. The idea of Shego having the Kimmunicator as a ringtone, and Kim discovering it like that, just amuses me no end.

**Disclaimer:**

I own nothing Kim Possible related. You should know this.


	7. Anticipation

**Anticipation**

* * *

"Shego! Come on! We have to go - that Hyperbolic Sequential Analyzer is not going to steal itself, you know!" Drakken was more agitated than usual before a job. Shego had been acting very strange lately, going back and forth between mooning around and being even more short-tempered and violent with him than she usually was. He had needed a lot of burn ointment, in some rather sensitive places.

And now, now that they were finally ready to go out and start putting his latest plan for world domination into action, Shego wasn't there. She had been standing in front of the mirror for an hour now, fiddling with her hair and makeup in that infuriating way women had when it was time to go someplace. Well, he was just going to have to risk more punishment, if he was going to get anything done tonight. He tried for a gentle, placating tone.

"Come on, Shego. Your hair looks fine, but we need to get down to the laboratory before morning, you know." Drakken couldn't help that it came out whiny, rather than comforting.

"You really think so, Dr D? I washed it earlier, but I don't think it dried quite right. It seems - foofy." Shego continued looking at herself critically, patting various bits of hair into one place or another.

Foofy? What was 'foofy'? Shego's hair looked like it always did. Whatever. Women were so strange. Still, she sounded like she really wanted to know, and she hadn't threatened him. He kept his voice sounding what he thought of as fatherly and hoped for the best. "Yes, Shego, I really do. I think it looks perfect. Not at all foofy."

"Well, if you're sure. I guess this is the best I'm going to be able to do. Just let me redo my lipstick and we can go, okay?"

"What? Shego, you've been fooling around there for an hour. We're just going to break into a high-security physics lab, you're not going on a date."

"GAH! Shut it, Doc! I _said_ I just need to do my lipstick." There was the old Shego, Drakken thought, ducking a ball of plasma. "Now go wait in the hovercraft! I'll be right out."

Shego was beyond nervous. This was the first job they had gone on since she and Kimmie had started spending time with each other, and she was looking forward to fighting with her princess more than anything she could remember, even Christmas. She had spent quite a while after her bath masturbating in anticipation, which helped account for the state of her hair right now. Which _really_ pissed her off, because she wanted to look perfect for Kimmie.

She patted her lips with a tissue and gave the mirror a grimace. Not perfect - her hair still looked foofy - but damn good. She was quite pleased with the perfume. The salesgirl in Paris had assured her that the subtle yet musky fragrance went perfectly with her natural scent, and would sweep any woman off her feet. She had to agree - Chantal had known what she was talking about. For the price Shego had paid, she had better have. Okay, Princess. Here I come. Are you ready for me?

* * *

Kim and Ron were in line for _Blood-Soaked Vacation 6_, the existence of which was entirely unnecessary, in Kim's opinion, since the original _Blood-Soaked Vacation_ really wasn't very good to begin with. Darn it, she was going to get Ron to take her to _Thawed_ if she had to drag him there, literally. She had been putting off having the talk for a few days now, dreading it. She knew that it had to be done, sooner rather than later, but that didn't make it any easier. At least here in public she had an excuse, right?

_beep-beep-be-beep_

Finally! Something else to do. Maybe it was Shego. Kim smiled as she lunged for the Kimmunicator. "Wade! Sitch me!"

"Kim! Drakken and Shego are on the move. They've been spotted trying to steal a Hyperbolic Sequential Analyzer from a lab in Switzerland."

Yesss! Shego! This was going to be great. She hadn't had a run-in with Shego since they had started hanging out together, and spending so much time in the other woman's presence had her seriously in need of a good fight.

"We're on it, Wade! Did you get us a ride?"

"Sure did, Kim. Should be landing in the parking lot in 5 minutes."

"You rock, Wade. But then, you knew that."

"That I did. But it's always nice to hear it."

Kim grabbed Ron's hand and started moving as Wade's image disappeared. "Come on, Ron. We've got to go take care of Shego."

"Sure thing, KP. Um, and Drakken too, right? You know, the guy with all the doomsday machines and death rays?"

"Huh? Oh, right, Shego and Drakken. Let's go. Yeah, Shego. You're getting it this time. You're going down."

Ron was a little confused, which wasn't an unusual situation for him. Was it just him, or did Kim seem a little obsessed with Shego lately? More obsessed than usual, anyway.

* * *

"Okay, Shego. Just get these cables attached to the other side and we can go, and the Hyperbolic Sequential Analyzer will be MINE. Think of it, Shego. I will be able to sequence things. And analyze things. Hyperbolically! Hahahah!" Drakken rubbed his hands in glee and anticipation. Shego just rolled her eyes in contempt.

"Do you even know what that means, Dr. D?"

"It... It means it's very very powerful. Yeesh. You take all the fun out of it, Shego. Anyway, soon I will use all that sequencing and analyzing to develop the perfect scheme to take over the world and destroy Kim Possible!"

If Shego hadn't known how incapable he was of doing anything like that, she would have killed him then and there. "So you're going to do that how? By 'hyperbolically' 'analyzing' things?" Shego made the air quotes. "Yeah, I'm sure that's gonna do the trick. 'Ooh, look at my plan! I've got lots of hyperbolically analyzed ideas and hyperbolically sequenced stuff and I'm gonna take over the world with them. This plan's gonna work for sure.'" She wasn't sure how much longer she could put up with this idiot. Had he always been this annoying?

"Hurtful words, Shego! And that mocking tone is not at all becoming in an employee."

"It's in my contract, Doc. 'Employee is allowed to give critical feedback about Employer's ideas. Employer recognizes that Employee provides certain unique skills, and therefore Employee is not required to follow traditional standards of decorum or politeness.'"

"Yes, well, I don't remember that part, Shego."

"That's why we wrote it down. In my _contract_."

That brought Drakken up short, as it always did. He was really gong to have to find that thing one of these days. He hadn't seen it in a while, but he knew it was there in his office someplace. He didn't really remember much of what was in it, except for the high salary and absurd amount of vacation time she got, and the business about not cloning her. It was easier to just agree to whatever she said. The thought of what she'd try to pull if she discovered he'd lost it made him shudder, and not just because of the mockery he would inevitably get.

"Heh. Right, Shego. It's a good thing we did that. Wouldn't want to forget anything. Heh heh. Now come on. I want to go play with my new Hyperbolic Sequential Analyzer."

"Right, Doc. In case you haven't noticed, there's still someone missing."

"Eh? Shego, what are you talking..."

"Hold it right there, Drakken! I don't think that belongs to you. Come on, Shego, let's get it on!"

"KIM POSSIBLE! And... um, you. Not you two again! Shego!"

"_There_ you are, Princess. You sure took your time." Shego grinned hugely as she lit up her hands. "Now your ass is mine."

"Ron! You know what to do! Go do it. Just you and me, Shego. We'll see whose butt is whose."

"On it, KP!" Ron ran off and dove at Drakken, who went down in a heap, Ron on top of him. A slapfight commenced.

"Hey, Kimmie. Did you miss me?", Shego said in a low, sultry tone as she launched herself at Kim.

"Oh yeah, I've been missing this", Kim answered in an unexpectedly sultry voice of her own, diving to the side to avoid Shego's first attack, then whipping around to smash a roundhouse kick into the villainess' side, knocking her down to slide several feet across the floor. "I've been missing this a lot, Shego."

"Me too, Pumpkin, me too", replied Shego, getting up smoothly and throwing half a dozen plasma balls at Kim, who deftly avoided them, but not the fist to her chin. She shook that off and returned the favor with a set of rapid strikes to Shego's chest, almost all of which were blocked and countered. Shego tried for a leg sweep, but Kim leaped up and did a handstand flip off a surprised Shego's shoulders, winding up behind the woman.

"Ah, nice one, Kimmie. You're on fire tonigh... oof" Shego started, spinning around. She didn't get to complete that sentence, as a foot to the stomach took all the air from her lungs, knocking her onto a table.

Kim held her stance, but had a look of concern on her face. "Shego? Are you all right?"

"Oh yeah, Princess." Shego groaned a little. "Just fine. I should have been expecting that. Of course, you should have been expecting this." She launched a double shot of plasma, causing the redhead to dodge and giving Shego a chance to get up and close with Kim again, and the fight was back on.

Back and forth they went, exchanging kicks, swipes and blows, blocking and countering and occasionally connecting. At one point Shego had Kim pinned up against a wall, close enough to take a deep whiff of the girl's shampoo. Mmm, strawberry. "You smell nice tonight, Kimmie. Good enough to eat." Shego really hoped that would be taken as fighting banter, and not the wholehearted desire it was. Apparently, it was.

"So do you, Shego. You're wearing perfume?" Kim asked, a little surprised, as she brought her hands up and shoved them hard into the other woman's solar plexus, pushing her back.

"I wanted to look and feel my best for you, since we haven't done this in so long. You like?"

"Yes I do. It smells fantastic." Kim blushed, a little, at the thought of how this would be received. Hopefully it wouldn't be too noticable with the flush from all the exertion. "But your hair is a little foofy, though. Don't tell me, it didn't dry right?"

"Damnit, Drakken. He said it looked fine. 'It looks perfect, Shego. Not at all foofy.' I'm gonna kill him."

"Eh, he's a guy. I doubt he even knows what foofy means."

* * *

Ron and Drakken had given up their fight and sat, somewhat exhausted, leaning against the Hyperbolic Sequential Analyzer and watching the action.

"Yeah, KP! Good hit!"

"Go, Shego! Ooh - that was a nice kick! Take that, Kim Possible!"

"Ah, she's got nothing on Kim. My girl's gonna take her out."

"Don't be so sure about that, buffoon."

"Oh yeah? Five bucks says KP has this one."

"You're on. Come on, Shego! Destroy her!"

"No way! Oh! Did you see that? Bang, pow - right in the kisser! KP! KP! KP! Goooo, KP!"

"Come on, Shego, use the plasma. Use the plasma! Yes! That's what I'm talking about!"

"And the hero is not even touched! Booyah! You know, we should really have popcorn for this."

"Yes, you're quite right. Actually, I think I saw a microwave over there in the corner. Let me just go look."

"Make sure there's salt and butter, Doc. Ohhh! That had to hurt!"

* * *

The fight had been going on for a good twenty minutes. Kim and Shego were sweating and glowing with excitement, adrenaline and endorphins pumping. They were both sure of one thing - they had been missing this.

Shego thought she might well be in heaven, she felt so good. Of course, if this was heaven, she and Kimmie would be fucking like minks right now. Still, for heaven on earth, she doubted it could get any better. She had hoped for a great fight, but this - this was - exquisite.

Wow, Kim thought. Just - wow. She had wanted, needed a good fight, and boy, was she getting it. Shego had absolutely brought her best game tonight. Kim was in awe of how smoothly, how lithely, Shego was moving, like water flowing over a just-waxed car. Kim could keep doing this, fighting and watching Shego move, all night. Of course, eventually the local authorities or Global Justice were going to show up and put an end to their fun.

"This is incredible, Shego. You're incredible. But the cops are probably going to be here soon. We should leave. Do you want to get coffee after this?"

"You're pretty incredible yourself, Princess. But I can't, I have to help Drakken escape. Tomorrow?"

"It's a date. But I can't let you take the Hyperwhatsit, you know that."

A date! I have a _date_ with Kim Possible! Shego almost went weak in the knees. "Eh, Drakken would just do something stupid with it. He doesn't even know what it does. He just thought the name was cool. Besides, we never even finished getting it hooked up to the hovercraft. I guess we should get out of here, though. You know what I have to do, right?"

"Yup. Sounds good. See you tomorrow, Ralph."

"Tomorrow, Sam.", Shego whispered, then flung two fistfuls of plasma at Kim. "Later, Kimmie! It's been a blast, but we gotta go!" Shego ran over and grabbed Drakken, throwing a hard shoulder into Ron on the way and knocking him to the floor, scattering popcorn everywhere. "Outa my way, buffoon!" Damn, that felt good to say. "Come on, Dr. D. Time to go."

"But Shego! My Hyperbolic Sequential Analyzer!", the blue man whined as he was dragged along.

"Forget it. It would probably blow up the first time you tried to use it, anyway."

Ron picked himself up, a little unsteadily. "Hey, Drakken! You owe me five dollars!"

"Hah! The check's in the mail, buffoon! Mwahaha...gah - Shegoooo! Not so hard."

"Aw, man!"

* * *

"Ron? Do you want to get coffee when we get back?", Kim asked tentatively, when they were settled into the plane.

Ron looked at Kim like she'd lost her mind. "Uh, KP? Did Shego hit you a little too hard in the head? You know we always get Bueno Nacho after a mission. Why would we want to have coffee? Since when do you even drink coffee? That's stuff's nasty."

Sigh. "Never mind, Ron. It was just a weird thought."

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine, Ron. Just fine. I'm going to try and get some sleep." Oh, Ron. We really need to have a talk.

Kim tried to sleep - she really was tired - but the memories of the fight, and of the smell of Shego's perfume, kept her happily awake for several hours.

* * *

Sitting in Bueno Nacho, Kim looked over at a slightly downcast Ron. Did he suspect something? She should probably just get it over with. Kim tried to think of how best to say it without hurting Ron's feelings too badly. She decided to take an oblique approach. "Ron? Are you all right? Something on your mind?"

"No, KP. I'm not all right." Uh oh, thought Kim. "I had five bucks on you! If Drakken hadn't welshed on me, I could have afforded to Grande-size this! As it is, I could barely get a Naco." Ron grumped a little and folded his arms.

Riigghhhht. So not what she wanted to talk about tonight. "Ron, that's sweet that you were betting on me. It really is.", Kim said, putting her hand on Ron's arm. "But there's something I need to say." Kim took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Ron, we... we need to talk."

Ron's head shot up and his eyes got big. "Talk? We need to talk? KP, that's never a good thing for a girlfriend to tell her boyfriend! That's a really really bad thing. You're dumping me, aren't you? Why, Kim? What did I do? It's because I couldn't Grande-size it, isn't it? Dang it, Drakken!"

Kim sighed a little and smiled. He really was sweet, even when he was panicking. Maybe even especially when he was panicking. She took his hand and held it tightly. "Ron. Calm down. I'm not breaking up with you."

"You're not?" Ron stopped thrashing and snuffled a little, tears still in his eyes.

"No, Ron, I'm not. I promise. But we do need to talk."

"Talk how, KP? Talk about what?" The panicky edge was starting to creep back into his voice.

"Well, we've been best friends forever, right?"

"Right, KP. Ever since pre-K. You know that."

"Right. And you always have my back, and I always have yours. But... but sometimes, it's a little too easy to forget the fact that we're boyfriend-girlfriend now, and not just best friends, and we have to act a little differently around each other."

Ron's eyes lit up. "You mean I should kiss you more often, Kim, right? I can do that." To prove it, he leaned forward and gave Kim a Naco-flavored smack on the lips.

Okay, that was sweet, but kind of missing the point. "Not that, Ron. Although it is nice when you kiss me." Ron was now smiling hugely, panic forgotten. "But I was thinking more like..." Oh, gawd, this was hard. She couldn't very well stop now, though, and anyway, she was a Possible, so... "Ron. If I'm going to be your girlfriend, we need to do other things besides watching you play video games, and watching zombie movies, and going to Bueno Nacho all the time."

Ron now looked very confused. "But KP, we've always gone to zombie movies, and giant lizard movies and stuff. And you love Bueno Nacho."

"No, Ron. You love Bueno Nacho. I don't mind it, but I know it's really your favorite place, so we come here a lot. But I would like to try eating someplace different occasionally. I know I suggested Thai, and you thought it was a little too exotic, but we could have Chinese sometimes. That's just about American, right?

"Uh, Kim, they eat with sticks. How weird is that? And nothing has cheese on it." Ron remembered his time at Yamanouchi, and how difficult it had been to eat with the sticks. He really didn't want to remember how much everybody had laughed at the American buffoon and how he kept dropping his food in his lap. At least when Yori had laughed, it was more like she thought it was cute, and not like she was mocking him.

Okay, Kim was feeling a bit snippy now. She knew Ron wasn't trying to be obtuse, but it just came naturally to him. She took another deep breath and tried again. "Ron, not everything in the world has to have cheese on it. Regardless of what Rufus thinks. And it wouldn't kill you to try something different sometimes. Who knows, you might even like it." Ron didn't look too sure. Kim decided to pull out the big argument, the whole point to what she needed to say. "Besides, the idea is to make your girlfriend happy by doing things she wants to do sometimes. Then she makes you happy. And, you know, is more willing to kiss you."

"Does this mean I have to go to chick flicks with you?"

"Yes, Ron, it does. And you can't whine about it, either.", Kim added, a bit more pointedly than she had intended to.

"Aw, man! This tanks." Ron sat back and folded his arms again, not looking happy.

"Ron!" That definitely came out more sharply than Kim had wanted, but she was starting to get annoyed now. "You do like making me happy, right?"

"You know I do, KP." Still a little sulkily.

"And you like kissing me, right?"

"Sure! Of course I do."

"And you want to be able to keep on kissing me, right?"

Ulp. Ron didn't like the way this was going. "Um, sure, Kim. Yes, I do."

"Well then, Ron, you're going to have to learn to compromise. Next time, we're having Chinese, and you're taking me to see _Thawed_." Before Ron could do anything more than make a stubborn expression, Kim continued. "And you're not going to complain, and you're not going to sulk, and you're not going to talk with your mouth full."

"KP, you're asking the Ron-man to deny a big part of his Ronness here. If I didn't have the Ronness, why would you still want to go out with me?"

Why, indeed, Kim thought churlishly. She kept that thought to herself. "Well, Ron, maybe it's because you want to make your _girlfriend_ happy? What good _boyfriend_ wouldn't want to change a little to make his _girlfriend_ happy?"

Ron could see the wisdom in this. He did like having a girlfriend. And kissing her. "Okay, KP, you got it. Chinese and a chick flick. But I'm not gonna eat with the little sticks. That's non-negotiable."

"It's okay, Ron. You can use a fork."

"They actually have them?"

"Yes, Ron. They do. I've seen them myself."

"Well then, no problemo, KP. The Ron-man is all over this!"

* * *

Shego was thinking about the future of her life of crime. It was somewhat ironic that she was doing it while in Kimmie's room, since Shego had snuck in just to see how the girl lived, and to steal a souvenir. She was far too worked up to sleep, not after that fight. My god, Princess had been amazing tonight. Shego had been replaying the fight in her mind ever since they had left, and it just got better each time.

Shego looked around. So this was what she had come to. How pathetic would she look to the rest of the villainous community, the once-proud villainess, reduced to breaking into a high school girl's bedroom just to poke through her things? Shego decided she didn't really give a shit what they thought. They were mostly a pack of assholes and goons, anyway. Much like high school, but with access to better technology. She was really starting to get tired of dealing with them, life of excitement and freedom be damned.

She was currently looking through Kim's dresser drawers, marvelling at the kid's boring clothing. T-shirt, crop top, crop top, cute little spaghetti-strap number but a hideous shade of pink. Kimmie really liked pink, didn't she? Shego shuddered as she remembered the bathroom. Ah - here was the underwear. Let's see what Kimmie wears under those cargo pants. Eh, boring too. Cute, but boring. And again, way too much pink. Of course, pink underwear would look especially cute on Kimmie. It'd go so nicely with her hair.

Still, the girl was in serious need of some lingerie. Shego thought for a while about what she would buy her. A while threatened to turn into quite a while, as Shego got more deeply into her thoughts. She thought about lying down on Kim's bed and masturbating. That probably wouldn't be a good idea. Kimmie would be back from Boner Nacho soon. Another time, then. Gah, fuck, Shego. What the hell? Can you not be a pervert for five minutes?

Yes, those thoughts could wait until she got home. She had, however, found her souvenir. An especially cute pair of pink panties, with little hearts on them and white trim, went into her ankle pouch. If those didn't say 'Kimmie' and 'Princess' at the same time, what did? Shego turned her attention to the computer. What were the odds that she could crack the password and look for interesting stuff before Kim got home? Knowing Nerdlinger, she figured that they were pretty long. Too bad. Shego was extremely curious about just what secret things Kim Possible kept hidden away. Maybe she had porn? Nah, not Little Miss Good-And-Perfect.

It was probably time to go, now that she had what she came for. Along with the panties, she had a pencil Kim had chewed the end of (at least she hoped it was Kim), a hair tie, and a small plastic bag with hair she had pulled from Kimmie's brush. Shego took a last look around. Maybe she should leave a note on the pillow? Nah, that would be creepy. Stalkerish. She was definitely not a stalker, no matter what the evidence might suggest if you looked at it the wrong way. She was just being a little - obsessive - these days. That was all. Just keeping an eye on her girl, making sure she was all right. Right?

* * *

Next time: Shego's not the only one who can't keep her mouth shut; more reflection; Kim has yet another opportunity to be embarrassed.

* * *

**A/N:**

Sorry, no coffee or research this time. But there was some action and stuff, and Kim and Ron having The Talk. And we'll see Karina next time.

**Disclaimer:**

I own nothing Kim Possible related. You should know this.


	8. More revelations

**More revelations**

* * *

Karina put down _Topics In Dimensional Compilation (3rd ed.)_ as Shannon and Kim came in. Kim was wearing the same crop top and cargo pants she had on that first night. Come to think of it, she wore that outfit a lot. It made a good fashion statement on her. Cute and butch at the same time. "Hey guys. Kim, you're rocking the cargo pants again."

"Hi, Karina. This is my mission outfit. You like it?" Kim struck a pose, and a smile. Shannon rolled her eyes, and smiled. Apparently, she knew what was coming next.

"Mission outfit?" Karina was confused. Was it some roleplaying thing?

"Yeah, I go on missions all the time, to save the world from insane supervillains and mad scientists, or help save a village from a typhoon, or just get somebody's cat out of a tree. It's a lot of fun. Tonight I had to stop a crazy Scotsman with a weird obsession with golf from blowing up the St. Andrew's golf course because they wouldn't let him play. Apparently, a kilt is not acceptable clothing there."

Karina was impressed. She already had a high opinion of the girl's competence, but it now went up a great deal. Still, she wondered. "Aren't you a little young for all that?"

"Ah, it's no big." Kim didn't see Shannon mouthing along with that, but Karina did. Must be her catchphrase. "Anyway, I don't do it by myself. My friend Ron comes with me, and my buddy Wade makes us all kinds of cool gadgets and breaks into the bad guys' security and all." Kim didn't see Shannon rolling her eyes at that. Karina did.

"And you do this for fun?" What kind of adrenaline junkie was this kid?

"That, and because people need help, and somebody has to save the world. Besides, I get to jump out of airplanes and have really good fights sometimes."

Okay, she's _that_ kind of adrenaline junkie. Let's hope she never discovers cocaine, Karina thought. "So you like the action, huh?"

"Oh yeah. Most of the time it's just lame henchmen, but some of them can put up a really good fight. There's this one guy, a mad scientist, who has a woman working for him who's crazy good."

"As good as me, Kimmie?" Shannon asked with a smirk.

"Well, I can take her, so yeah, I'd say so." Kim had a smirk of her own.

"Oh, you are so paying for that the next time we fight, Princess."

Jeez, look at the two of them. No wonder Shannon had it so bad. If these two weren't soulmates who just hadn't realized it yet, Karina would be extremely surprised. Shannon was going to wind up being incredibly happy, or incredibly frustrated. Or maybe both. Karina no longer wondered why Shannon tortured herself like this. The chemistry between them was so strong you could taste it in the air. It tasted sort of like mint chocolate.

Now that she knew just how kickass Kim was, and how much of a hero she was, Karina felt that she had to make an admission.

"You know, Kim, the first time Shannon brought you in here, I thought you were just one of her fight-and-fuckbuddies. You know, because of the way you moved. You were like the leopard to Shannon's panther."

"Fight-and-fum-buddies?", Kim asked, slowly and rather dangerously, turning to look at Shannon with a hard glare.

Dammit, Karina. Shego needed to fix this. She supposed the best way was to come right out with it and hope it didn't freak Kim out too badly. "Karina - filter. You know, Kimmie, friends who get together, fight, get worked up and then go fuck. You'd understand the connection if you weren't such a little priss."

"I am not a priss!" Kim said indignantly.

"Ah, Princess, you kinda are."

"So not!"

"'Fum-buddies'?"

"... Okay, fine. Maybe I am a bit of a priss. But there's nothing wrong with that. I just don't like to swear."

"No, there's not. It's kinda cute." Everything about you is cute, Kimmie. "One of the many things I like about you, Pumpkin."

Ooh - there were lots of things Shego liked about her! Kim was so going to have to get Shego to spill about them. But that could wait for later. Right now, she had to get this cleared up. She had had a thought she really didn't like.

"Is that what you want us to be? And besides, I'm a girl."

"What? No, Princess, no. We're friends who get together and fight sometimes, maybe get a little worked up in the process. But we aren't going to do the other stuff." Unfortunately. "And some of them are girls, some of them are boys. Besides, that other thing is just one-dimensional. It's all about excitement and sex, nothing else. Most of them, we don't even like each other that much. With you and me, it's different. Very different." Very, very different, Kimmie, and oh how I want it to be similar as well. "You know, we're friends now. I wouldn't ever want to do anything to ruin that."

Kim was unexpectedly relieved to hear this, and inexplicably bothered by the idea of Shego doing all those things with so many people. What the heck did 'most of them' mean, anyway? How many were there? There was no way she was ever going to ask Shego about _that_, but there was a question that Kim did need answered.

"What do you mean by 'get worked up'?, she asked cautiously, afraid of what Shego would think it meant.

"You know what I mean. After a good fight, all the adrenaline going, the sheer excitement of going full out, when it's suddenly over, you're left with all that energy and nothing to do with it, and you realize you're horny as hell and you just want to grab somebody and fuck them silly." She stopped explaining at that point because Kimmie had an exceptionally good blush going and Shego wanted to admire it. Plus, the girl didn't seem to be hearing anything anymore.

Kim had never noticed anything of the sort. Yes, she often felt at loose ends when coming home after a mission, and especially after a good fight with Shego, but that was just adrenaline wearing off. Kim would review the fight in her mind, at least if it was with Shego, remembering how well they worked together, replaying various sequences just for the pure joy of watching their movements in her head.

Kim was aware that there was something other than just that, even if she could not quite tell what it was. She only knew that it generally happened after a fight. She had no intention of mentioning this to Shego, though. The woman would just say something rude and probably dirty, and then Kim would blush, and Shego would start with that cute little half-smile like she was trying not to laugh.

If Kim was to be completely honest, she kind of liked it when Shego teased her, at least when the woman didn't push it too far. At least she liked it now that they were becoming friends. Now that it was friendly teasing and not sarcastic mocking, Kim was finding that blushing a little bit was totally worth it to see that smile in Shego's eyes. The woman should definitely smile like that more often, Kim thought.

Anyway, maybe Shego had to go out and... you know, but Kim had more control over herself. She didn't need to act like a wild animal just to satisfy some urges she didn't even have. Kim was pretty sure Shego had no control whatsoever over her urges, and probably satisfied them with whoever she could get her hands on. God, Shego. Have some standards, why don't you. You may not think so, and really, neither did I, but you deserve better than some creep you picked up in a bar after our fight. Or some skank, whatever.

Kim had never thought before about Shego's orientation, and had always assumed she was straight. But considering what she had mentioned before about boys and girls, Kim wasn't so sure any more. Thinking about it now, Kim remembered the familiarity of the interactions between Shego and Karina. There was some history there, Kim thought. Huh.

Still, she needed to say something about that term. Seriously, Shego? "Fight-and - um, you know, though? What's with that name?"

Shego chuckled. "Well, you know about fuckbuddies, right? This is the same thing, except with fighting."

Kim blushed, again. She had not heard about those. "Um, no, I don't. Are they what I think they are?"

"If you think they're people who get together for fun, no-strings-attached sex when they feel like it, then, yes. They are."

Kim was certainly learning about a lot of things by spending time with Shego. She hadn't expected to learn about that, though. She blushed some more at the idea. It sounded so naughty. She tried thinking about being so casual about sex. She didn't see how people could do that. You were supposed to be deeply in love with your true ever after to have sex with them, right? She thought about Ron, and how the two of them hadn't really been intimate yet. A little kissing, a little fumbled touching, but no further than second base a couple of times.

Why didn't she want it to go further? She loved Ron, right? He was her best friend, for Pete's sake. Sure, the kissing was fun, even if the touching wasn't really her thing. It seemed to be Ron's thing, though, at least judging from his enthusiasm, and how he got - aroused. More blushing now. Was she really being fair to Ron? Maybe she should help him with that sometimes. Wasn't that what good girlfriends did? Then why didn't she want to? The idea didn't even seem all that interesting. She supposed it was because that was such a personal, blatantly sexual step in their relationship. Besides, it sounded kind of yucky. If he needed that sort of help, he could take care of it himself.

* * *

Kim was still thinking about Ron, only now she was feeling guilty. She had kinda blown him off tonight, after the mission with Killigan. Sure, she _really_ couldn't take another Bueno Nacho meal, and Shego had texted her twice today already, but the look in Ron's eyes as she had said she wasn't up for it was a little pitiful. It was kind of like a puppy when you wouldn't play with it.

"Shannon? Tell me I'm not a bad person because I ditched Ron after our mission. We always go to Bueno Nacho afterwards, but I told him I couldn't, and he looked so crushed."

Oh, Kimmie. You're not a bad person. You're so good it overwhelms me sometimes. God, I love that about you. "A bad person? Princess, you're one of the best, nicest, most incredible people I've ever met. All you did was tell Stoppable 'not tonight'. You didn't say you had a headache or anything like that, did you?"

"What? No, I just said I wasn't up for it tonight. I couldn't actually tell him I wanted to have coffee with you instead." Kim was feeling worse by the moment. Why did she want to spend time with her nemesis rather than with her boyfriend?

"You know, you're going to have to tell him something, eventually. It's okay to have another friend, you know. Well, maybe not one like me, but still."

Kim groaned. "Don't remind me. I think about that all the time. I hate that I have to keep things from him, but how the heck would I ever explain you?"

"Just tell him you have a new girlfriend, an older, charming and incredibly beautiful woman, who intrigued you with mochas and scones and her sparkling wit. She teaches you new things and gives you conversation you can't get anywhere else." Shego liked the sound of that, especially the 'teaching you new things' part. Down, Shego. Being good, remember? There'll be time for that when you get home.

Kim brightened noticeably at this. "Well, when you put it that way, yeah. And it would all be true, not just technically true. Although it does sound like we're having an affair."

Shego wasn't sure what she liked more, the fact that Kimmie thought she was charming and incredibly beautiful, or the idea that they were having an affair. "Why, Kimmie. I didn't think you cared so much. So it's all true, huh? You think I'm beautiful and charming? And I have a sparkling wit?"

"Well, you are", Kim mumbled, not able to look Shego in the eye. "And you do. Don't let anyone try and tell you different."

Shego couldn't resist a little teasing. "Oh, no one ever has, Princess. And for a good reason. It _is_ all true. And I'm never going to let you forget it."

"Whatever", Kim said from behind her hair. Can we just change the subject, please?"

"Sure thing, Pumpkin. So, what are you going to do after you graduate? You're going to college, I assume?"

"I haven't really thought too much about it. I guess I'll go, since my parents assume I'm going. I just figured I'd work for Global Justice. Dr. Director seems to think so, anyway. She wants me to intern for the summer."

"So, that means you'd be trying to arrest me, instead of just trying to stop Drakken's schemes?"

"Well, I suppose I would have to. It would be my job, right?"

"Yeah, right. Like you'd ever be able to catch me if I didn't want you to."

"Oh, as if I couldn't catch you if I wanted to", Kim returned with a smile. Kim really didn't like the idea of Shego in prison. How would they have their coffee nights that way?

Shego thought about being in prison, unable to see her Kimmie except on visiting days. She thought her heart might break if that were the case. She had never considered the state of her heart before, and she didn't at all like the feelings that were going through her as she did consider it. Was being a criminal worth not being able to see her Kimmie any more, worth not being able to sit like this and be happier than she had ever been in her life? Why the fuck did love have to confuse absolutely everything?

* * *

"So, I listened to some of those MP3s you sent me? The Velvet Underground, their first album?"

Oh, this was going to be good. "And what'd you think, Princess?"

"Well, first, you were right. They're certainly not Britina. Definitely not the Oh Boyz. I have to admit, I really didn't like it at first. It's pretty - aggressive. But after listening a couple of times, it started to grow on me. The viola is sort of hypnotic."

"And the lyrics didn't scare you off?"

Kim colored a bit. "Well, I think a lot of it went over my head. That song 'Heroin' was pretty intense, though. I kind of liked that a lot. I think it helped that I was reading William S. Burroughs at the time, so it was almost like theme music."

Shego was impressed. She had expected Kimmie to run screaming from all the decadence. Time to push a little. "So, how about the rest? 'Venus in Furs'?"

Kim colored a bit more. "Um... is that song about what it sounded like it was about? A guy who likes having his girlfriend beat on him?"

"Pretty much, except it's more mistress/slave than girlfriend/boyfriend. S&M, it can be an extreme lifestyle."

"You... you know about that stuff? You're not..."

"No, Pumpkin, that's not really my thing, I just know some people who are into the scene." Shego couldn't help teasing. "Although, a little spanking can be fun, and I have a set of plasma-resistant handcuffs..."

"Shannon! That's..."

"What? A little kinky? Fun in the right circumstances? You'd be surprised what two healthy people can get up to in bed. Or outside of it. I could tell you some stories..."

"Let's just move on, okay?"

"Sorry, Princess. I am a little surprised, though. I really thought it would freak you out a bit more."

"I'm kind of surprised myself. I think the music got so far under my skin, it made the lyrics easier to take. And a lot of the words I didn't catch. Like 'Sister Ray'? I think the only things I understood were 'just like Sister Ray said' and 'sucking on my ding dong', whatever the heck that means."

Shego couldn't help herself. She exploded in laughter. After what seemed like a few minutes of helpless chortling and pounding on the table, she managed to get herself under control. She saw the perplexed and annoyed look on Kim's face and lost it again.

"Dangit, Shannon! What is so darn funny?"

Shego calmed down and wiped her eyes. "Oh, Princess. You're what - almost 17 years old, and you don't know what a guy's dingdong is?"

"Shannon!" The blush started low, down below Kim's shoulder blades, and immediately shot up to the tops of her ears, and probably her scalp. She slapped her hands over her mouth. "Omigod. Omigod. Oh. My. God."

* * *

Next time: Drakken has a new plan; Kim is a little bit evil; Shego does some unwanted thinking

* * *

**A/N:**

I actually looked up the dress code for St. Andrews, and it makes no mention of kilts being allowed, at least not on the course, even for Scotsmen.

I just want to thank all my loyal readers, and all my reviewers, especially the ones who review every chapter. And you all say such nice things, too. 43 reviews and 77 follows? You guys rock. Seriously. _*air guitar*_


	9. Interruptions

**Interruptions**

* * *

"And so you see, Shego, the inter-sub-atomic transfrobinator will prevent the coagulation from being catalyzed, and I will control the world's entire..."

_beep-beep-be-beep_

Shego put down the nail file and took out her phone. "Hold on, Dr. D. I gotta get this."

"Shego! I'm monologuing here. I'm explaining my evil plan, and you need to pay attention." He was interrupted by a ball of plasma exploding near his head.

"Uh uh, no talky. Sam, what's doing on? ... No, I'm in the middle of something. ... No, nothing like that. I'm in a meeting. ... Yeah, you got that right. Though I really wasn't paying attention. ... Yeah, see you then. Bye."

"Shego! That's very rude, you know, taking a phone call when someone is talking."

"It's in my contract. 'Employee will be allowed to receive important communications at all times'."

Okay, that sounded like something he would have agreed to. Drakken was somewhat mollified. Still, his feelings were a bit hurt. "More important than listening to me?"

"You have no idea."

Drakken was pretty sure it wasn't, but he knew better than to argue with her when she was in one of her moods. "Yes, well, as I was saying..."

_beep-beep-be-beep_

"Shego..."

Shego held up a finger. "Hey, Sam. ... Hazelnut. Two. ... Yeah, thanks a lot. Bye." Shego put down the phone and picked the nail file back up. "Okay, Doc. You were ranting?"

Hazelnut Two? Was that some kind of code phrase? What was Shego up to? It didn't matter, she was never going to tell him anyway. Whatever. Back to the plan. "Yes, well, I..."

_beep-beep-be-beep_

"She... ow, Shego, that hurt!"

"It was supposed to! Sam, what's up? ..." A smile started to fill Shego's face. Drakken didn't like anything about it. "I _like_ that. You are evil." Shego turned to look at Drakken, aiming that smile directly at him. He gulped. This looked like it could be really painful, or at least cost him a lot of money. "Yeah, it's working. ... Yeah, that'd be a good idea. ... I'll tell you about it later. ... I know you will. ... Okay, I gotta go. Bye."

"Back to you, Doc." Shego went back to filing her gloves and thinking about Kimmie.

What was that sound, and why couldn't he get it out of his head? It was so familiar. All he knew was that before he could pick the thread of his explanation up again, he was going to have to find out about it. "Shego, what is that ringtone of yours? I know I've heard it before."

Shego smirked. Could he really be that dense? Of course he could be. He could never remember the buff... Stoppable's name, no matter how many times he met the boy. "It's from a song."

"Is that the theme song from that cartoon you watch? It's annoyingly catchy."

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go with that."

* * *

_beep-beep-be-beep_

Ugh. There it was again. That sound. That annoying sound. Damn Shego and her television-watching habits. Where was she, anyway? "Shego! SHEGO! Come and answer your..."

_beep-beep-be-beep_

Ahhh! So annoying! Drakken could not take another second of that. He had to stop it. He picked up the phone.

"I'm sorry, 'Sam', Shego can't come to the phone right now. She's right in the middle of a very important, um, meeting. Please don't call her at the office again. Thank you." Was that a giggle on the other end? Hmph, they hung up. That was rude. This whole thing with 'cellphones' was rude. Didn't people understand basic etiquette any more?

Now that he had the thing in his hand, Drakken couldn't help his natural curiosity. Surely there was something in that contract giving him the right to check up on his employee if he needed to? Especially if she was up to something. He started scrolling through the call log. Hmm, she talked to this 'Sam' person all the time.

Unfortunately, Shego picked that moment to come back into the lab. Unfortunately, Drakken picked the exact wrong thing to say.

"Who's Sam? New boyfriend? You've sure been talking to him a lot... Every night, too. Must be looovve? Ooowwww! Shego!"

"What the fuck are you doing touching my phone? Does the concept of personal property mean nothing to you? It's explicitly in my contract: 'Employer will leave Employee's things alone!'"

"You know, Shego, I really don't remember that either."

There was a very good reason he didn't remember, Shego smirked to herself. It wasn't there. She had destroyed all of the copies of her contract a while ago, and now she got to claim whatever she wanted. It was very handy.

"Well, let's go look it up, then", she said sweetly. The tone of voice alone would have terrified Drakken.

"I, err, can't quite find it at the moment. Heh." Drakken ran his fingers under his collar. Why did the henchmen keep turning the heat up? Didn't they know that cost money?

"You _lost_ my _contract_?", Shego snarled. Damn, this was fun.

"What? No, Shego, no. It's just, um, rather a mess in my office at the moment. I need to take a break from the evil plans sometime and go organize things in there." He really needed to move this conversation on to something else.

"Anyway, that's beside the point. Your friends need to learn some boundaries. There is work time, and there is personal time. _This_ is work time. Please don't pursue your love affairs during work time."

"Gah! It's not a love affair! Damnit! She's _just_ a _friend_." Aw, shit. She'd said that out loud, hadn't she? Fortunately, Drakken hadn't seemed to have noticed.

"Eh, whatever. You can just be friends on your own time."

Shego looked at the clock and grimaced. Three more hours of this shit to go. They were going to be a long three hours. Well, at least she had plenty of ideas to keep her occupied. She decided she would think about Kimmie tying _her_ up this time. Mmmmm...

_"Okay, Princess. You've captured me fair and square. But did you have to take all my clothes before you tied me up so tightly?"_  
_"I had to make sure you weren't hiding anything", smirked Kimmie. That smile was evil, and that leather outfit would have done a fetish model proud._  
_"Well, obviously, I'm not. I mean, you can see everything." Shego was all too aware of what Kimmie could see; it was throbbing unbearably._  
_"Yes, and it looks so, so sweet." Kimmie licked her lips lasciviously. "Good enough to eat, even. But I'm going to need to do a rather thorough cavity search, just to make sure. I hope you're not ticklish."_

* * *

"Hi, Shannon. Kim's already here. She has your drink." Karina looked up from Lope de Vega's "La dama boba" and smiled cheerfully. Shannon was so happy these days, it was like she was a completely different person. Not only hadn't she insulted anyone or gone off on a rant for a few weeks now, she smiled all the time, and it all seemed to be Kim's doing. Bless that girl - who would have thought she could tame the wild Shannon?

"Yep, thanks, Karina. I already talked to her. Bye, now." There she was, her precious Kimmie, watching her and smiling as hard as Shego knew she was herself. God, had it only been a couple of weeks? Who would have ever expected the world to change so much, so fast? Certainly not Shego. Yeah, she was definitely going to have to keep doing the 'reform and redemption' thing, if she was going to keep this in her life. She wondered, now, how she had ever been able to live like she had before, with all that darkness in her soul. She decided not to think about that, at least not until her next 4-in-the-morning self-hatred-fest.

"Hi, Kimmie. Sorry to make you wait so long, but Drakken just would _not_ shut up. He wants to control the entire world's supply of ricotta cheese, if you can believe that."

"Jeez, Shannon. That's kind of pathetic. I think he's officially run out of ideas now."

"Yeah, you got that right. I'm just there for the mockery potential now. I swear, one more self-important rant and I'm gonna put him in prison myself, and leave him there."

Kim really wished Shego would do exactly that. Then she could have Shego all to herself, and they could have coffee and go shopping whenever they wanted, without all this sneaking around.

"I'd really like to see that. Here - I got you a breve, two shots of hazelnut. And extra whipped cream, yum. I thought you could use it."

Good god, Kimmie. How can you be so thoughtful? No wonder I fell in love with you. "Thanks, Pumpkin. You're a lifesaver." Shego tucked in greedily. After several good, deep sips, she wiped her mouth and sighed. "I so needed that. You have _no_ idea how hard it is, listening to that idiot all day, knowing it's never going to end, not until he runs out of steam and decides he needs a 'cocoa-moo' to 'get his head back on'.

"Ugh. And I thought Mr. Barkin was bad. At least he's just boring. Mostly."

"Oh, I wish Drakken was just boring. Whatever. At least I have you to thank for breaking up the monotony. When did you get so evil, anyway? You're supposed to be a goody-two-shoes."

Kim smiled hugely. That _had_ been fun. "You liked that? I was thinking about how Drakken would feel about you taking calls when he was in the middle of a rant, and I thought I'd wind him up a little. Besides, it's not really evil-evil, just messing-with-the-tweebs kind of evil. No big."

"I liked that. So, so much. You should have seen his face, Princess. By the third call? He looked like he was going to have an aneurysm, he was so annoyed. Twice he'd gotten back into the rant, and twice - boom - you interrupted him just as he was getting under way."

"I try. It _was_ kind of fun. I called again, you know. He answered. He said you were 'in a meeting'. I just hung up. I don't think he heard me giggling."

"Yeah, he had the balls to give me the 'this is work time' speech. Can you believe it?"

"I'll bet that went over well."

"Let's just say he learned an important lesson about privacy and personal possessions. And he has a little less hair now."

Kim snickered. "Well, I guess I'm going to have to do that again."

"Oh please, Pumpkin. Every damn time he hears that beeping, he just about jumps out of his boots. Then he goes off into lala-land while he tries to figure out where he's heard it before."

"I was meaning to ask. Where _did_ you find that, anyway?"

"I took it from the promotional video on your website, the one about the 'basic average girl' who saves the world all the time."

Kim had another huge smile, one that threatened to become a smirk. "You go to my site, Shannon? I didn't think you were the fangirl type."

"I've been to your site", Shego said, a little snappishly. "And that's all we'll say about that", she added, in a tone that was intended to stop this conversation dead. Of course, this was Kimmie.

"So, do you post in the forums too? Are you 'Green Goddess'?" The smirk was fully out now.

"What? No! No, goddamnit, I do not. And no way am I that idiot wannabe. That chick has some serious boundary issues."

"Aw, you do read them. That's so cute. I told you you were a softie."

"Remember how we weren't talking about this any more, Princess?"

* * *

"So, Kimmie, how did Chinese with Stoppable go?" The kid hadn't sounded that thrilled about such 'exotic' food.

Kim groaned. "Oh god. He brought Rufus."

"No! No way, you're shitting me. He brings the rodent on dates?" Jesus Christ, just dump this loser already.

"He does. He said Rufus needed to 'expand his horizons'. I think that meant that if he had to do it, Rufus did too."

Oh, Kimmie. "So what, it was all downhill from there?"

"Kinda sorta. He still stuffed it all into his mouth, and he kinda freaked when the waiter asked if he wanted chopsticks. He did actually like it, though, at least once he stopped grumping about it. I swear, that boy is just too scared of new things. Although now he thinks Sichuan pepper sauce is even better than Diablo sauce.

"Crappy as that place may be, that Diablo sauce is pretty potent." Shego didn't want to remember the morning after _that_ night. She would never drink that heavily around someone that competitive again.

"He is starting to get it, though. At least I got him to stop talking with his mouth full. And once I explained the realities of the situation, he assured me that he would never, ever bring Rufus on a date again."

"I would hope to hell not, Pumpkin. That's just so many kinds of wrong. You must be some kind of saint for not walking out then and there." Shego could not imagine having a date bring a pet with them, even one that had as much personality as that rodent seemed to. Especially not in that case; it would be like bringing a kid brother along. Thinking about all the times they'd met over the years, she was half-convinced Rufus was the smarter, more mature one. Regardless, whoever tried that shit would be going home with severe burns.

"Well, he's Ron. You sort of have to judge him by a different standard. His relationship with Rufus is - complicated. Anyway, Rufus is pretty much the third member of the team, so it always seemed obvious that he'd come along wherever we went. Then, when we started dating, none of that really changed. I guess it is kind of a weird relationship, when you think about it."

"Even when you don't think about it, Kimmie. I just... I've never even considered going on a date like that."

"I guess that's kind of a big part of the problem. It doesn't feel like we're actually dating. We're still best friends, but now we sometimes kiss. And stuff." Kim blushed fiercely when she realized what Shego would think that meant. She tripped over her tongue trying to correct herself. "I - I mean... I mean, no, um, nothing like that! Ew! I mean, you know, just a little fooling around. No! Not that either! Just... Oh gawd, this is so embarrassing. Just a little touching here and there. Second base! No more! Um, just once or twice. Um..." Kim's jumbled thoughts finally came to a stop, thankfully. She couldn't look at Shego right now. What would the woman think of her?

Shego didn't think this could be any more hilarious, and she didn't think Kimmie could be any more adorable right now. But seriously, how naive was this kid? She couldn't possibly be that sheltered, not with her life. Shego was pretty sure Kimmie wasn't all that religious, either. Did she have some archaic idea about saving herself until marriage? Did girls even do that any more? Shego decided to poke a little and see what happened.

"So, you guys haven't done the nasty yet, Princess?" She was rewarded by Kimmie going stiff, eyes huge and mouth open as her brain seemed to seize up. The girl gulped a few times before she found her voice again.

"Shannon! That's... so wrong. I mean... It's _Ron_. We can't just... you know."

"You mean Ron, your _boyfriend_? Who else would you be doing it with?" Me. Me. Me me mememememe. Yup, I'm pathetic.

"What? No! No, I mean, I don't want to do that with anyone. It just seems... yuck, you know?"

"Oh, don't knock it if you haven't tried it, Kimmie. I can tell you right here, right now, that it can be a hell of a lot of fun." But not as much fun as with girls. Like me. "You just need to find the right person." Like me.

Kim was dubious about this. She didn't understand what all the other girls saw in it. The other cheerleaders talked a lot about what they'd done, and who they'd done it with, sometimes in excruciating detail. She wasn't sure how much they were making up, though. Probably most of it, except for maybe Bonnie. However much was true, though, she didn't see the point. It all sounded kind of squicky to her. That _stuff_ getting everywhere? Right, like Tara'd ever put that in her mouth. Kim really didn't want to have this conversation any more, especially not with Shego.

"Um, can we just change the subject? Please?"

Yeah, that was probably a good idea. Push her any further and she'd probably break completely. Shego did not want to have to explain a catatonic Kimmie. Although, she was going to have to come back to this again some time. The reactions were just too much fun.

"Getting a little flustered, Kimmie? It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's perfectly normal. Your parents do it, you know."

"Shannon! That is not changing the subject!"

"Okay, okay. Sorry, Pumpkin. Just tell me he didn't make you go Dutch. If he can't at least get something right, I'm gonna have to have a little talk with him about dating etiquette."

"Um, I did sort of have to lend him money to pay for it. Hey, don't look at me like that. There's not a lot of time to work when you have to save the world all the time. Ron has to spend a lot of his allowance on pants, you know."

Shego smirked. "A belt would do him wonders."

"I know, right? Maybe I should buy him one - our half-iversary is going to be coming up."

"Not the most romantic gift there, Princess."

"No, I guess not. But very practical, though."

"I'm not sure it would help all that much, actually. He'd probably find a way to break it."

"I can get him one reinforced with titanium or something. I bet Wade can help me with that. Hey, you want another round? My treat this time - I have some big-time babysitting money."

"I'd love to, Kimmie, but I have to get back to the lair. Drakken's been in full-on manic mode these last couple of days, and I have to be 'on call' in case something 'comes up'. He says he needs me to help him with testing, but I think he really just wants someone to listen to his rants. Or at least pretend to."

"Aw foo. I've been having so much fun, too. Are you sure you can't tell him you've done your 8 hours already, come back tomorrow all fresh and rested?"

"Well, that's one of the things about being a villain, the flexible hours. It works both ways, unfortunately."

"Humph." Kim tried pouting a little, not that it would do any good. She knew better than to use the PDP unless it was for something really important. She had a great idea, though. "Hey, do you want to go see 'Thawed' sometime? Ron kind of fell asleep when we went."

Damnit, why did Kimmie have to hit her sore point? She couldn't know Shego was almost obsessed with that movie, could she? No, of course not, she's a teenage girl. They're supposed to be obsessed with things like that, go see it over and over, right? Shego was glad she had a studio-master bootleg, considering the number of times she'd watched it. Sneaking into the theater all the time was pretty boring. It would be nice to go to a movie with a girl through the front door, so she could pretend it was a date. She'd buy Kimmie popcorn and Sno-Caps, and they could sit together in the dark and she could smell Kimmie's scent.

"'Thawed', huh? Sure, Pumpkin, I'll go see that again if you want."

"Again, huh?" Kimmie's eyes were looking mischievous now. Shit. You've got to keep a better handle on your mouth, Shego. "You like 'Thawed' too, Shannon? That's so cool. I never would have expected that. It seems so - girly for you."

"It's _not_ girly. It's a sweet, touching story with adorable, well-rounded characters. And the animation is excellent. Besides, everybody's seen it."

Kimmie still looked like she was about to be naughty as hell. Damnit, Pumpkin.

"You know, bouncing around and singing 'Just Let Go' sort of takes away from your villainous cred."

"Keep it up, Cupcake. I'll show you my villainous cred." No one would ever see her dancing around her kitchen, singing that into a wooden spoon, with choreography, so she was safe there.

"Yeah, yeah. I know you're a big old softie, remember? Don't worry, I can keep a secret. Your villainous cred is safe.

"Whatever", Shego returned, trying to act like it bothered her. "I gotta go."

"Do you want me to call you later, to help you break up the monotony, or just tweak Drakken some more?"

"I'd like that, Kimmie. I'll text you when I can't take it any more."

Kim had a slightly naughty thought. She'd try something. "Okay. Good night, Ralphie", she said, as Shego was getting up.

Ralphie? Oh my, was Princess giving her a nickname now? She tried to ignore how fluttery it made her feel. She pretended to be annoyed, raising an eyebrow and giving Kimmie a look. "Ralphie, huh? See you later then, _Sammy_." Kim just smiled harder. Shego walked off while she was still able to keep a straight face.

* * *

All right, this was getting ridiculous now. She had just spent the last 5 minutes thinking about brushing Kimmie's hair and putting it into a French braid, almost able to feel the warmth of the girl's body as she leaned back against her chest. She looked around and realized she had no recollection of how she had gotten here. Good thing there was nothing to hit when you were 120 feet up in the air. She had to stop this, this spending every single moment of her day thinking about her princess. She didn't mind the dreams, they were erotic as hell, although that led to a great deal of frustration when she woke up and realized she was alone and had to take care of things by herself.

Shego decided that she would use some discipline on herself for once, and force her mind to think about other things. Almost anything else would do. Of course, thinking about what a dumbfuck Drakken was wasn't going to help her relax any. She tried thinking about swing dancing. She hadn't been in a while, and Lauren was going to give her shit about that the next time she ran into her. Yeah, dancing was good. She could just lose herself in the music, and the movement. Shego bet that Kimmie would like it, too. She ought to ask her about it some night. She knew the redhead would poke fun at her for being into something so corny, but it would be worth it to see that excited smile and those beautiful olive eyes lighting up.

Okay, this wasn't working very well, was it? Damnit, what the hell was wrong with her? Why couldn't her mind go for 15 seconds without going back to her little pumpkin? Maybe she could lose herself in a book. She thought about stopping off at home for her copy of _Modesty Blaise_, but that was miles out of her way in the wrong direction. She'd have to make do tonight with whatever was around the lair. Tomorrow she'd stop at the library and pick up some things. She smiled, a little wistfully, at that. It wasn't very long ago that she would have just stolen them from Buns & Noodle. Kimmie really had set her on the path to reform, hadn't she? Of course, Shego hadn't thought about actually _buying_ them yet. Okay, it was a small step on the path, but still.

* * *

Shego walked back into the lair and was greeted by the sounds of Cheap Trick blasting over the PA system, and the sight of Drakken dancing around like a loon, singing along, badly.

"Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surr...Ahhh! Oh, ah, hello, Shego. I didn't expect you back so soon. Um, just warming up the old creative juices, you know..."

"Again with the oldies, Doctor D?" Shego was so surprised by the scene that she forgot to make a sarcastic comment.

"Please. It's classic rock, Shego. Oldies are...old. For old people. This is for people who appreciate the classics. Now just stand by for a while. Once I get this last circuit worked out, we'll be ready to test Stage 1."

"Stage 1, huh? Out of how many?"

"Erm... Eleven. Or maybe twelve. No more than thirteen. But this plan of mine, Shego, this one cannot possibly fail. You see, the sub-harmonic ultra-low-frequency energy field, when applied to the cross-dimensional matrix..."

"Don't need the details, Doc. I'm just here to be on call. And you realize thirteen's bad luck, right? It's not like you need any more of that."

Drakken stopped what he was doing and thought for a while. He had been having a run of bad luck lately, hadn't he? But this time, this time would be different; he knew it in his bones. It really wouldn't do to take any chances, though. "Hm. I do believe you're right, Shego. Why tempt fate, eh? I'll make it fourteen stages. Or maybe fifteen, a nice round number, multiple of 5. Let them all see the full array of my genius, unfolding inexorably while the world cringes at my feet. Mwahah! Mwahahahahah! Oh yes, Shego, they will pay. They will indeed pay this time."

"Doc! Details! Don't need 'em! Just get back to work. You got a lot of stages to work out, there."

Well, at least that shut him up, without his feelings getting too hurt. Of course, now she was going to be stuck here, bored out of her skull, without even any action going on. Or, knowing Drakken, entertaining sparks and flames and things exploding. So there was that to look forward to. Can't possibly fail, indeed. If Kimmie didn't stop it, or it didn't just fail on its own, Shego would stop it herself. She'd done it before - a little sabotage worked wonders. She wondered what would happen if that blue freak ever did succeed in taking over the world. She didn't have high hopes for the world in that case. Not that she, or Princess, would ever let that happen.

Whatever. She would just sit here and relax, and read her new copy of Modern Villainess, and not think obsessively about Kimmie.

_**You've got it locked to K-Ton, Classic 97, serving the Upperton, Middleton and Lowerton area. Now here's Elvin Bishop, going back to 1975.**_

_I must have been through about a million girls  
I'd love 'em and I'd leave 'em alone  
I didn't care how much they cried, no sir  
Their tears left me cold as a stone  
But then I fooled around and fell in love  
I fooled around and fell in love..._

Gah! What the hell? Did the universe hate her tonight? Why the fuck did she have to hear this song right now? Did he write it about her or something? He might as well have. Life was so goddamned simple back then. Find someone, fight with them, fuck each other silly, get on each other's nerves a bit too much and go find someone else. Easy peasy. No muss, no fuss, no emotional baggage, and no fucking obsessions with annoying teenage heroes, even incredibly sweet and adorable ones. No sleepless nights, no middle-of-the-night tormenting herself, and absolutely no falling in love with the wrongest person on the planet.

She should have been able to avoid all this, she thought. She should have just kept the screws tightened down and not let any of her emotions peek out. Emotions always got you in trouble. Emotions made you weak and left openings for red-haired little princesses to sneak their way in and take up residence in your heart. It wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been Kimmie. No, it would have been fine if it had been someone like Electronique, crazy as she was. That one weekend they had spent together had been pretty fucking fun, she remembered. She could have taken an extended dose of that.

Oh, who the hell was she kidding? That blue whacko would have driven her crazy after a week, then Shego would have had to kill her and bury her body in the desert. Besides, she wasn't Kimmie, with that cute smile and cute ass and those unbearably cute eyes that could capture her soul. Aaaand, she was doing it again. Fuck. It was her own damn fault. She realized that. The moment she had given in to her weakness and asked Kimmie out for coffee - and Kimmie, damnit, had agreed so readily - she had been well aware that she was doomed.

Yeah, and it had seemed like such a good idea at the time. Get together for coffee with your biggest enemy, smile and laugh and even become friends, that's gonna help make it go away. 'Oh, Shego, you can get rid of all those pent-up feelings if you just spend a little time with her, that'll totally work!' Right, the only way she could ever do anything about those pent-up feelings was with a vibrator, the really powerful one. And that never helped for long, anyway.

Damnit, would this song ever be over? Of course it was the fucking album version, so she could get that damn guitar riff stuck in her head even harder. Yep, this was really helping the not-thinking-about-Kimmie project. And, there was the next verse.

_Free, on my own is the way I used to be  
Ah, but since I met you baby, love's got a hold on me  
It's got a hold on me now, I can't let go of you baby_

When had she stopped wanting that? Being free and on her own had pretty much been her goal her whole life, that and having fun. They had served her well for all these years, pretty much right until Kimmie had kicked her into that tower and Shego had lost her mind. She realized now that she had taken it all too lightly, her growing - oh hell, just say it - affection for the annoying little hero. If she had just kept doing her job and not gotten sidetracked by the emotional stuff, she would have been able to keep a straight mind and not let the little brat get under her skin. She had never cared about anybody her entire life, why did she have to start doing it now?

_I fooled around and fell in love_  
_I fooled around and fell in love, oh yes I did_  
_I fooled around, fooled around, fooled around, fooled around,_  
_fooled around, fooled around, fell in love_

All right! I get it already! I fucked up, I let someone in, the absolute wrong someone, and now I'm stuck with the consequences. Now let this damn song be over! Please! It's my own damn fault, it's all my fault, it's always my fault. I know that. I've always known that. I'm a warped, broken piece of shit who couldn't make it with her family, couldn't make it as a hero, can't even make it as a villain any more. I'm probably going to go out in a huge blaze of plasma and mayhem some day, if I don't wind up in prison for life, or just drink myself to death. It's a good thing I'm not going to inflict that on Kimmie. She deserves better, anyway. A lot better. Not that it's a very high bar.

Shego had always had a strong aptitude for rationalization. It was very flexible. She decided that, since she was such a shitty person, she wouldn't feel any compunction about fantasizing about Kimmie and getting herself off, again. In fact, since it sounded like Drakken was going to be busy with Stage 1 for a while, she would go take a 'break' right now, since Pumpkin was already in her head, writhing around in lust. "Gonna chew on a piece of your pumpkin pie...", Shego sang to herself as she walked off to her rooms. Heh. Damn, it felt good to be a villain.

* * *

Kim's research was coming along nicely. Already she had scored a dozen pictures for the mission reports folder, and she was just getting started. She frowned for a moment. Once school started, she wasn't going to be able to stay up all night like this. Darnit. She really was going to have to switch to the decaf, at least for the third round. She frowned again. That stuff just wasn't very satisfying, she thought. It was like the idea of coffee, without the actual coffee. It tasted kinda like coffee, but didn't really do anything for her.

Kim had recently discovered woman's volleyball and she was just about addicted. Those were some statuesque, well-built women, weren't they? Wow. That was a lot more - athletic - a game than they had played in middle school. She was definitely going to have to start playing again. She wondered if she should go out for the team this year. As long as it didn't interfere with cheerleading, or cut into coffeetime with Shego, she would. It looked like so much fun. Ooh, here were some swimsuit shots. Cool!

* * *

Okay, that was about it for the new volleyball stuff. What other sports were going on? Ah, tennis. Oh yeah.

That Aphrodite Wilson and her sister Pacifica were just incredible, weren't they? What she wouldn't give to be able to spend some time with them. Those skirts weren't all that much longer that her cheerleading outfit, were they? You could see their underwear just about every other shot.

Kim had to admit, though, they showed off the legs well. Aphrodite's legs were spectacular. Kim knew she had a good pair of legs herself, but they were nothing compared to that woman's. Wow. The definition, the way the muscles flowed so smoothly under the skin, it was just - wow. Kim thought they were even nicer to look at than Bonnie's.

Athletes' legs versus dancers' legs, Kim mused. Whichever ones you wanted depended on the situation. And then there were Shego's legs, which were such a perfect blend of both. Kim realized that, other than when she was wearing that magnificent outfit during their fight at the Bermuda Triangle, she had only actually seen the woman's legs the few times she had worn a skirt to coffee, or when they were trying on clothes that one time. Of course, those super-tight pants had left absolutely nothing to the imagination, had they?

Kim smiled at the memory, then cringed at the memory of what had happened next. That had been close. She had almost lost her Shego that night. She really, really didn't want that to happen again. Fortunately, Shego didn't seem to want that either. After that incident, she had never even come close to being so mean. Maybe Shego enjoyed this as much as Kim did? Kim might have to ask her about that some time.

* * *

Ron was sitting on the couch, trying to lose himself in a Scamper and Bitey marathon. He wasn't having much success. All he could think about was all the weirdness happening with Kim these days. She'd been ditching him a lot - 3 times now she'd bailed on video games with Felix, and turning down Bueno Nacho? That was just so wrong. And now wanting to have coffee all the time? What was with that?

All he knew was that she'd been talking to that Shannon person a lot.

* * *

Next time: Kim does some more rethinking of her assumptions, and she's not the only one; someone discovers something they did not expect.

* * *

**A/N:**

Yup, angsty Shego is fun to write. Drakken's fun too, but I knew he would be.

I hope nobody feels cheated by not seeing Kim and Ron's date. Trust me, you didn't miss anything you hadn't seen before.

No, this is not gonna turn into a songfic. I just really wanted to have Shego hearing this, because the lyrics seemed so damn appropriate. And because I love this song. It's Elvin Bishop's "Fooled Around and Fell In Love", by the way. Which I don't own. The song Drakken was dancing around to is "Surrender", by Cheap Trick. Which I don't own.

"Gonna chew on a piece of your pumpkin pie" is a reference to Led Zeppelin's "Custard Pie". Which I don't own either. And yeah, it's about exactly what you think it's about. Thanks to Poetheather1, whose wonderful 'Tangled Up In Green' made me think of this.

Shego's last line while going off to take a 'break' is a paraphrase of "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta", by the Geto Boys. You might be surprised to know that I don't own it.

Thanks to reviewer tuxjim for asking me where Shego got the Kimmunicator ringtone. This was my answer and I'm sticking to it.

I was going to have Shego reading something more highbrow, but 'Modesty Blaise' is such a perfect book for her. I couldn't begin to describe it properly, so just go look it up. All I can say is that she's incredibly badass.

I stole "Buns & Noodle" from Alison Bechdel's fantastic "Dykes to Watch Out For" comic. What do you mean, you've never heard of it? Go check it out now. Real lesbians!

"La dama boba", or "The Foolish Lady", by Lope de Vega, is a 17th century play involving arranged marriages, swapped love interests, and the foolish lady of the title becoming decidedly less foolish. No, I haven't read it, but it's been described as "a very fast and funny comedy". So there. Ask Karina about it.

Catalyzing of the coagulation is actually a step in the making of ricotta cheese. Just in case you cared. Research is fun!

Last chapter I thanked you guys for all your support and I got 9 reviews in less than 24 hours. That must have been, like, totally good luck, dudes, seriously. I'm so gonna do it again so I can get another sweet response like that. You dudes totally rock like a mega-tricked out Firebird. Seriously.

To SwigSwag's guest review from last time: It's St Andrews golf course, in St. Andrews, Scotland, home of the University of St Andrews as well. Huh, there sure are a lot of St Andrews schools and other places out there, aren't there? Thanks for reviewing! Glad you like it.

To guest reviewer don redmond: Shego would love to be Kim's girlfriend, but at this point she's pretty sure that's never going to happen. Think that'll change? Kim and Shego both have delicate decisions to make. At least Kim does. Shego just has to make one. Very glad you're enjoying this.

**Disclaimer:**

I own nothing Kim Possible related. You should know this.


	10. Suspicious minds

**Suspicious minds**

* * *

Kim looked up from the patterns she was idly stirring in her mocha. "Shannon? How long have you been studying martial arts?"

"Since I was 5, Pumpkin. I saw 'Enter the Dragon' on TV one afternoon and all I could think was 'I wanna do that!'. I bugged my parents for two weeks straight until they finally gave in and signed me up for classes just to shut me up."

"I figured as much. You just move so smoothly and effortlessly, it's like you were raised in a dojo, and there's a lot of Jeet Kune Do in your style. But there's something more than that. It's like, somehow, you're always moving and you're never where I expect you to be when I try to hit you. It's really frustrating", Kim added with a small humph of annoyance.

"That would be the Bù cúnzài, Kimmie. It's a very ancient, very obscure style from Tibet that only a few old monks way up deep in the mountains know any more. I got to learn it through a complicated set of circumstances involving bribery, blackmail and blind chance."

Kim looked up sharply at her at that, so Shego was quick to add "Don't worry, Princess, it wasn't blackmail for anything really bad. Just some financial shenanigans by a degenerate gambler who also liked the teahouse girls a bit too much. He was actually a pretty cool guy; quite a character." At Kim's not-mollified look, Shego said "What? Villain, remember? Criminal lifestyle, compromised morals? Ring a bell? Besides, he didn't want to teach a woman. What was I going to do?"

Kim humphed some more, but seemed to accept this. "Yeah, okay. It's just that, I keep forgetting you're evil. Were evil. A criminal. Whatever." Kim did have trouble, lately, remembering that. Shego was like a completely different person these days. Well, not completely different, that would be boring, and so not Shego, but certainly not villainous. At least not as much as Kim had always imagined.

Kim thought again about how things weren't necessarily as black and white as she had always thought. She had always divided people up into Good, like her family and friends and people like Dr. Director, and the people that she helped, and Bad, like all the villains including, until recently, Shego.

There were still a lot of people somewhere in the middle, like Dr. Bortel, but she always thought of him as more clueless than anything, just not thinking about the consequences of his inventions. Maybe it wasn't always so simple? After all, there was the example of Shego, sitting right in front of her. She thought about Señor Senior, Senior, and his 'rules' of villainy. If you had rules and a code of conduct, how could you be as bad as someone like Gemini? Worldwide Evil Empire, hello?

So, maybe there were a lot more shades of 'good' and 'evil' than she had imagined. Bonnie was a complete and utter rhymes-with-witch, but she was still on the 'good' side of the spectrum, unlike, say, Monkey Fist, who was generally polite and well-mannered, but clearly and proudly evil. So, where was Shego these days? Not evil, not a good guy. Still a bit of a criminal, even if she hadn't done anything since the Hyperbolic Sequential Analyzer incident in Switzerland.

Heck, even in that sitch, Shego had seemed more interested in the fighting than in anything else. And she hadn't even tried to get away with the device? Maybe she was just a bad girl now, even if she did things a little worse than shoplifting and being naughty. Kim's mind somehow flashed on the 'bad girls are more fun' idea and had some trouble letting go of it, since it give her a little tingle to think about it. It _was_ kinda true, after all.

Kim then had another thought, one that temporarily put thoughts of sexy bad girls away. "Oh, oh, can you teach me Bù cúnzài? Huh, please? Pleeease?" Kim tried very hard not to use the Pout, but she really really did want to learn. No way was she going to give up on this.

"You know, if you want me to teach you, you're gonna have to stop being so persistent about it. It's annoying."

"Aw, come on, Shannon." Kim tried for her biggest, most innocent smile. "It sounds really useful, and think how much better it would make our fights."

Shego could not believe she'd let the girl do this to her. She supposed it was her own fault for bringing it up in the first place. Oh well, at least it would give them an excuse to spar regularly. "They're already pretty damn good, Princess. Oh, don't you dare give me that look." Adorable as it is. "Okay, okay, all right. Jesus. You just don't know how to give up, do you?"

"Doy! Have we met? My name's Kim Possible."

Shego had to chuckle. "Yeah, I walked right into that, didn't I?"

Kim's smile was even bigger, and had a touch of gleeful evil about it. "Yup, you sure did. So, are you gonna teach me, or am I going to have to use serious measures?"

"Oh no, Princess, not that damn face. Don't you dare use that. I'll teach you already. It focuses mostly on movement and not being where you were an instant ago. That's something you're pretty good at already, so this should be fun for you."

* * *

Ron was standing across the street from a very weird-looking coffee shop. What kind of name was 'Espresso Hell', anyway? 'Coffee dark as eternity, strong as the devil, and hot as hell'? Now that just made no sense at all. Kim had gone in 10 minutes ago,and Ron was trying to think of an excuse for 'bumping into' her. It had seemed like such a good idea when he had started tailing her, hoping she wouldn't notice him a block behind. Fortunately, traffic was thick enough that not only couldn't she see him, his asthmatic scooter could keep up with her dad's car.

Now, it didn't seem like such a good idea at all. What was he going to say, 'Hey, Kim, I was just in the area and thought I'd get some coffee'? By this time, Ron had determined that there was no way Kim could see him from where she was sitting, and had crossed the street and was crouching below the window, trying to sneak a look through all the posters and flyers. One caught his eye, and he smiled a big Ron-smile. Oh yeah. No problemo. He'd just walk in, say he had heard about the music nights, and came by to check it out. No big, right? Then he could finally get to the bottom of all this Shannon business.

Ron reached inside himself for any inner strength he could find, hoping the MMP would come through. It didn't, but something did, a combination of his inner Ronness and his concern for Kim. He opened the door and took a look inside. His first sight was the woman behind the counter, who was covered - covered! in tattoos; and did she have rings stuck through her face? Gah! The was just sick and wrong.

Ron was just about to turn around and run out the door before she attacked him, but then she looked up from whatever she was reading and - looked at him, like she was deciding whether to cook him or eat him raw - and he couldn't move. Ohhh-kay, this was weird. Oh god, did she have a monkey tattooed on her? Okay, no, it was just snakes or something. Sheesh, that was close.

Apparently, she had decided not to eat him after all, and went back to her reading. Okay Ron, you're good here, you're good. Ah, there was Kim, sitting with some woman with black hair. Okay, dude, you can do this. Just walk on over. Big, innocent smile. "Oh, hi, KP! I just stopped in to ask about the WHAT THE HELL? SHEGO?" Both women at the table looked up in various amounts of shock and horror. "Kim? Why are you sitting and drinking whatever that is with the woman who keeps trying to KILL US?"

"Relax, Stoppable. Princess' friend didn't show up, and I came in to get some coffee, so I thought I'd stop and bug Kimmie for a while."

ThankyouShegothankyouShegothankyouShego. Kim's brain had locked up the moment she saw Ron.

"You just happened to be in the neighborhood?", asked Ron incredulously.

"I was out, picking up some things for the lair. I come here a lot; I know some of the people who work here."

Like that creepy-looking chick with the tattoos? She seemed like exactly the sort of person Shego would hang around with. Did Shego have tattoos? Who knew with that catsuit. Ron wondered what kind of tattoos someone like Shego would have. Eew, Ron. Wrongsick. Wrongsick!

Although she wasn't wearing the catsuit, Ron now noticed. She had on - normal clothes. Still green and black, but normal. She hardly looked scary at all.

"You didn't get hit with the Attitudinator, did you?"

"Nope, it's the real me. Sit down, Stoppable. I won't bite."

"Mindcontrol chip?"

"No."

"Body swapped?"

"No!"

"Synthodrone?"

"NO! Sit."

Ron sat down cautiously. He still had a very bad feeling about this.

Kim's thought processes had finally gotten started again. "Please, Ron. It's fine. We're having a truce."

"Yeah, we're off the clock. Two professionals chatting after work. Just like Ralph and Sam."

"Ralph and Sam? From the cartoons? Oh, right. KP, do you believe that?", Ron asked, rolling his eyes.

"Relax, Ron", Kim said, putting her hand on his arm. "Tomorrow we'll be right back to being enemies. Right now we're having coffee and talking about martial arts styles. Shego was telling me about Bù cúnzài, from Tibet. She's going to show me some moves sometime."

Shego decided to ignore the variety of responses to that line that were now going through her head.

"And she's going to do this why? She's going to teach you all the wrong moves and then she'll be able to get you the next time, that's what she's trying to do!" Ron was getting a bit worked up.

Still ignoring. Still ignoring.

"No, Stoppable. I just want to even her up a little. It's no fun if I defeat her too easily." A teasing smirk towards Kim.

"Oh, in your dreams, you'll defeat me. I'm so taking you down next time." A teasing smirk back.

Still ignoring...

Ron was perplexed. They should be throwing insults back and forth at each other, or just fighting. Instead, they seemed to be...getting along, like - friends. Had they already done the fighting and decided to stop before the place got destroyed? There didn't seem to be anything broken, or any burn marks on anything. Oookay, this was definitely one of the weirder sitches they'd ever been in that didn't involve getting bodyswapped or being stuck to someone else. He would just sit here and watch, and make sure that Kim wasn't being mind controlled or anything. And then maybe have one of those kinda tasty-looking snack things they seemed to be eating.

Rufus seemed to be having the same thoughts. He slithered up out of Ron's pocket and ran over to investigate Kim's plate. Kim did not seem to appreciate this. "Rufus! That's mine! Go get your own."

"Great. He brought the rodent. I thought it smelled like cheese in here." Shego really didn't like the smell of cheese any more. Every time she smelled the stuff, or thought about it, her mind went back to the Wisconsin incident and she shuddered again. Her hair had smelled like cheese for a week. Honestly, a lair made of cheese? Whose idiot idea had that been? Oh yeah, Dr. Dumbass's. Who else? 'I thought it was a cheese-covered building, Shego!' Jesus. Cheese, a laser drill, and magma? What part of that _didn't_ scream 'failure'? Of course, she had gone along with it, so what did that say about her? Well, she had been pretty much in it for the evil back then. Good thing Kimmie had come along and eventually given her some perspective.

"Sitting right here, Shego. And for your information, I just gave him a bath. Kind of a little incident with a number 10 can of Naco sauce and too much time watching synchronized swimming. Women's synchronized swimming", Ron added quickly, noticing two curious looks. "With those skimpy little bathing suits? I mean, Rufus was watching! Uh, heh heh." Ron was wishing he could crawl into his own pocket like Rufus and disappear. Out of sight, out of range, right?

Rufus was more concerned with the delicious-smelling thing Kim was eating. Maybe he could just get a taste? He didn't want to get slapped again. He decided to try his version of the puppy-dog pout.

It seemed to be working. "Oh, fine. Here. Just a piece." Boo-ya! "Yum! Really good." Would Ron get the hint already? Apparently not. He would have to grab Ron's ear again to get his attention.

"Ow! Rufus! Oh yeah, that does look really good. Let's go get something to eat, buddy!"

"Hey Stoppable - tell Karina we need another round, would ya?"

As soon as Ron had left, Shego turned to Kim and said "You know he's following us, right?"

"Well, specifically, following me. I'll have a talk with him. But he's only doing it because he's worried about me."

"Worried about the fact that you have another friend?"

"Well, more like worried that maybe I'm making excuses not to spend time with him a lot these days. We sort of had the talk a while back? You know, the one you and I discussed, about him trying to be a better boyfriend? Anyway, he's a little sensitive about it still. He keeps thinking I'm about to break up with him. Especially since the Rufus incident last week." Kim thought back to that not-quite-disastrous Chinese food date. She _still_ couldn't believe she'd had to tell him not to bring Rufus along on a date. Well, at least _that_ wouldn't ever happen again.

And again, Princess, why aren't you? I know you're a saint and all, but even Mother Theresa would tell the kid to get stuffed if he pulled half the shit that Stoppable did. "I do not understand you two, Princess. It's like the two most incompatible people in the world are dating."

"What can I say, Shannon? I love him."

There it was. The horrible truth Shego had been expecting to hear for weeks now, the thing that guaranteed Shego had lost, and truly had no chance. You know, aside from the whole heterosexuality business. Kimmie loved the buffoon. Shego fought the voice in her head, the one that had shown up recently and had been annoying the hell out of her ever since, that insisted she call him 'Stoppable'. What was the point, anyway? The whole thing was hopeless, what was the point of 'reforming'?

Shego shook her head to try and clear those thoughts, and was reminded what the point was when she saw Kimmie's face, lips pursed against the rim of her glass, olive eyes concentrating on some inner thought. Her breath caught, as it always did, when she saw the redhead in an unguarded moment. Shego strengthened herself and put all the other thoughts away.

"I know you do, Princess. I don't understand it, but I know it. You're a pretty special person."

Again, Kim was surprised at the inensity of the feeling that went through her at that. "Well, you're a pretty special person yourself, Shego."

* * *

Ron came back with a trayful of drinks and plates, and set them down on the table. "I don't know about this place, KP. They don't have hot chocolate or Cocoa Moo or anything. And when I asked for those little marshmallows, the scary chick at the counter just gave me a really dirty look."

"Anyway, she made me this moka-thing. It's supposed to have a lot of chocolate in it. She even offered to Grande-size it for me. Except she called it a triple, for some reason..."

Shego smirked. _This_ should be fun to watch, like a particularly entertaining train wreck.

Kim winced a little at that description. Karina wasn't really that scary, not once you got to know her. "Oh, that's Karina. She's really cool. She has these awesome tattoos that go all down her back." Kim stopped when she realized what she had just said, and Ron's confused reaction to it. "Um, I mean she showed me. You know, right here. I asked her about them and she just pulled her shirt up and showed them to me." Why was she so worried about what Ron would think? She knew why she was so embarrassed.

Ron was having trouble processing this. The idea of that girl - Karina? - who really was kind of hot, in spite of all the weird stuff, suddenly pulling up her shirt like that was pretty distracting. I mean, whoah - half-naked girl here, right in front of you! Boo-yah! He tried thinking about her sitting on a horse, wearing a G-string and holding a bloody sword. Yeah, that was hot.

On the other hand, scary! Really scary. Okay, not Shego-scary, not monkey-scary, but she had kept looking at him like he was dinner. Kim must have thought she was scary too, since she was so nervous about it. Still, Kim seemed to be handling it okay. Maybe he could take her word for it. He was more worried about _Shego_ sitting right there with them.

"Sure thing, KP. Heh heh. If you say so. Awesome, right. Not scary at all. Heh." Ron stopped talking, because he had absolutely no idea what to say next. He concentrated on not thinking about half-naked chicks with weapons.

There was an uncomfortable silence until Kim broke it. "So, Ron. Want to tell me why you were following me?"

"Huh? What? Following you? No, KP, I just came in to ask about the music nights, and here you were. You two. Sitting here. Together. Heh. What a coincidence, huh?"

"Ron." Kim gave her best friend, now her boyfriend, a hard look. He tried holding out, and managed to make it for an entire two seconds. Shego was impressed, although she would never let it show. She wouldn't have been able to hold out that long. This girl was damn scary herself with those faces.

"Okay, okay. You're right, I was following you. I'm worried, Kim. You never want to play video games any more, you keep telling me you don't have time for Bueno Nacho - Bueno Nacho, Kim!, and now you like coffee? It's all just so wrong. I wanted to find out what was going on. I thought maybe this Shannon person was mind-controlling you or something."

"Seriously, Ron? Mind controlled?"

"Well, it's happened", Ron grumped.

"Okay, point. But couldn't you have just asked me?"

Ron rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah, I guess that would have been a better idea. But I didn't want you to think I was worried about you. And you have to admit, it all sounds a little weird. And if you had been mind-controlled? KP, it wouldn't have been very pretty if I did just come out and ask you, would it?"

"You gotta admit, Princess, he's got a point there. The last time you got chipped, you went and captured him and brought him straight to Drakken."

"Um, Shego? I _let_ her catch me. Duh. It was all part of the _plan_. What kind of idiot do you think I am? Don't answer that!"

"Ron - that was your idea? That's so sweet."

"Well, actually, it was your brothers' idea. Uh-heh. You know, for a couple of little terrors, they're pretty smart."

"Yeah, they are. I know that now. But back on track? You were sneaking around, following me, all because I have a new friend now?"

"And you're drinking coffee. And bailing on Bueno Nacho. Kim, what was I supposed to think?"

Kim cringed inside with guilt. Looking at it from Ron's point of view, it all did sound pretty suspicious. She sighed. At least they were finally getting this out in the open. "You're right, Ron. I have been ditching you a lot lately. I should have just been honest and come out and told you about it. I wanted to, I just didn't know how. I thought you'd freak if I said anything."

"Well, you were right about that, Kimmie."

"Shego. Not helping. Ron, I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"Of course, KP. I could forgive you anything, you know that. But what's the deal with Shannon? Who is she?"

Ulp. Kim really should have thought about this moment so she could have figured out something to say. Now she'd have to improvise without actually lying. "Uh, she's someone I met on a mission. She's a few years older than me, and she knows about all kinds of interesting things I'd never heard of, like music and art and literature and things."

Ron broke in. "That sounds like school stuff, Kim. Not sure why you want to talk about that."

"Well, I think it's interesting, Ron. And I think she's interesting. Anyway, we kept running into each other and one night she asked me out for coffee. It turns out she lives around here, so we wound up getting together when we had a chance."

"Hey Princess - do you think _I'm_ interesting?"

"Don't you have to use the bathroom, Shego?"

All right, when did that change? Up until right now, her answer would have been "No, I'm good here" as she sat and watched the show. But now, somehow, the first words out of her mouth were "Okay, fine. I'll give you two some privacy." She hadn't noticed herself feeling any different, Shego thought as she went up to the counter to get the key. She still loved teasing Kimmie and watching her squirm, but now she didn't even want to argue about it if the girl asked her not to.

And the strangest thing? It felt _great_. Shego had never really given much of a shit about anyone or their feelings before, but if this was what it felt like, she'd have to change her attitude about that. Or maybe it only felt that way with Kimmie. Being in love had a way of doing that, she dimly remembered.

Ron was still wrapping his head around the idea of Kim liking all this weird smart-people stuff. He had always known that she was a lot smarter than he was, but that had never been a problem for them before. He really hoped he wasn't losing his best friend, not to mention his girlfriend. Okay, Ron, don't panic. She's smart, she's just expanding her interests. Just because she's hanging out with someone else and passing up Bueno Nacho, that doesn't mean you're losing her. She just gets things from Shannon that she can't get from you.

That made sense. They probably talked about girl stuff. Ron tried, yet again, to imagine what strange, mysterious things girls talked about when they were alone. He wasn't having any more success this time. He put those thoughts out of his mind before he strained something again. He was still a little curious, though.

"Okay, KP. I wanna meet this woman. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine!", Ron said proudly. "Bring her to Bueno Nacho. I can always tell what a person is like over a platter of Chimirritos."

Oh crap. She really hadn't thought this through, had she? Now what was she going to do? Kim thought frantically, but nothing came to mind except 'hope a mission comes up'. Okay, okay, Kim. You don't need to panic. I'm sure Shego will think of something. She's good at all that being deceitful and lying about stuff. But you need to say something pretty much right now, or Ron's going to get suspicious.

"Um... she can't. She's...a vegetarian."

"Oh, KP. That's why the have the salads, duh!"

* * *

Shego was trying to explain the Ralph-and-Sam concept to Ron. It wasn't easy.

"Look, Stoppable. Do I ever try to hurt you?"

"You put us in death traps all the time." Ron waved his arms around wildly to try and make his point.

"Other than that. When we're not on the clock?"

"You threw plasma at us that time we found you in Greece."

"You interrupted my vacation, you interrupted my me time at the spa. Have I ever come after you on the street, or waited for you after school?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Then I'm not going to attack you in a coffee shop. Especially not with Princess sitting right here."

"You got that right, Sha...Shego. Because you know I'd kick your butt if you ever tried." Another teasing smile from Kim. What was with all the teasing smiles tonight?

Shego growled. "Oh, if I ever tried, Kimmie, I'd show you whose butt would get kicked."

Kim couldn't resist the opening. "So, you haven't been trying all this time, huh, Shego? The explains a lot of things."

Shego was not going to rise to that. She knew what Kimmie was trying to do. The girl was a bigger tease than she was. She answered back in the same low growl. "Let's just say I could try a _lot_ harder", and let a slight green haze flow around her hand for emphasis.

Kim resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at Shego, and settled for rolling her eyes. "Whatever, Shego. Just get on with it."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't push your luck, Princess. Look. Stoppable. It's really simple. When we're at work, Kimmie and I are enemies. I do stuff, you two try and stop me. When we're not, we're just two people who happen to work on opposite sides. Just like Ralph and Sam did."

Ron had thought he was starting to deal with this incredibly weird sitch, and he had been, pretty much. It made sense, sort of, that KP and Shego could get along in public for 10 minutes without Shego trying to kill her. Shego wouldn't want to attract a lot of attention, right, in a place she came to all the time? She was in civilian clothes, after all. Okay, he could accept that. But the whole Ralph-and-Sam thing? Ralph just tried to steal sheep, not take over the world or put Sam in death traps. The was _Shego_, for Pete's sake.

"Well, you know, Ralph never tried to put Sam into a _death trap_."

"And how many of those 'death traps' did you die in? One, I knew you two, well, Kimmie, anyway, could get out of them, and two, I never took away Kimmie's gadgets, or your little rodent thing, did I? What do you think, I'm as clueless as Drakken? I know that they get you out of trouble every time. Like I said, if I wanted to kill you, you've been dead long ago. And three, I _might_ have sometimes sabotaged the things, once or twice. And maybe one of Dr D's deathrays... And if you ever tell anyone about that, either of you, I will put you in so much pain you will _wish_ I had killed you."

Kim and Ron were both momentarily speechless. Kim, at least, had had a little bit of exposure to not-really-evil Shego, although she never would have suspected that the woman was actively trying to help them out. Ron, on the other hand, was trying to deal with everything he had ever known being suddenly the opposite.

"Okay, assuming I even believe that? Why would you do something like that? We're your arch-enemies, remember?"

"Because I don't want to lose you, duh? Kimmie is the best arch-enemy I could ever have. She's the only one I've ever met who could match me. She pushes me to my limits and makes me work for every little thing. I don't ever want to lose that."

"Okay, that kind of makes sense, in a weird way. But why aren't you messing with us now? Being all scary-flaming-hands-Shego?"

"As I _just_ finished explaining, Stoppable, because I'm not doing anything work-related. There are rules of villainy, capisce? Where do you think 'Ralph and Sam' comes from?"

"There are rules of villainy now? How come no one ever told me? And how does that even work?"

"It's simple. If we're not in the middle of anything villainous, we're not gonna do anything to you. You only have to worry about getting hurt if we're on the job. Otherwise, we can be polite, and even friendly, to each other. And we leave the sidekick alone."

"You do what now? When did you ever leave me alone?"

"Only all the time. When you two come after Drakken and me, what happens? I go after Kimmie, and you go after Drakken. If there weren't rules? I would mess with you in a serious way. You're annoying enough, I'd have to, to keep my sanity."

"I don't know whether I should be happy or insulted by that. So that's why you never plasma-toasted me?"

"That's right. You don't just go out and hurt the sidekick. You kidnap him and use him to lure the hero into a trap, maybe, but when you do? You treat him with dignity and respect. It's like the Geneva Convention. Ask Señor Senior Senior about it sometime."

Ron thought about that for a few seconds, then the light dawned. "Ooohhhhh, rriiiiggghhhtt, the Rules of Villainy. Right, you don't kill him, you invite him to dinner. It's not until afterwards that you break out the Spinning Tops of Doom."

"Exactly. And definitely not if you're not interrupting something villainous."

"Huh. So, is that why you're not calling me a buffoon like you usually do?"

"Yeah, well, Kimmie asked me to be nice. I thought I'd shut her up and avoid a fight." She made sure to harrumph and roll her eyes like she was put out about it.

"I didn't exactly _ask_, Shego."

"Yeah, yeah, to-may-to, to-mah-to. Whatever. I'm being nice, aren't I?"

* * *

They had all finished their drinks, and conversation had mostly come to an end, with the three of them pushing crumbs around their plates or spooning up the last dregs of chocolate and whipped cream. The only one not visibly uncomfortable was Rufus, who was happily munching on the last of his cheddar-chive scone and washing it down with an iced pumpkin mocha through the bendy-straw that colorful woman had been nice enough to get for him.

Ron was the first to break. He had been feeling agitated for a while now, although it didn't seem to have as much to do with Shego sitting right freaking there as he would have expected. His thoughts kept bouncing around all over the place, and his hands would not keep still. It was probably time to go.

"So, um, is anyone else feeling really awkweird here, or is it just me?"

"Ah, yeah, Ron. A little bit. I guess we should go, huh?"

"Yeah, I gotta get back. Ah, Drakken's expecting me. See you around, Princess."

"Okay, um, see you the next evil scheme, Sha...Shego."

Ron couldn't really believe he was going to say what he was about to say, but this had been an epically weird time all around. "Right, okay, so, ah, goodbye, Shego. Thanks for being nice and stuff."

Shego still couldn't believe she was being so nice. It was all Kimmie's doing. As she got up to leave, she said "Yeah, you too, Stoppable. You know tomorrow you're back to being 'Buffoon', right?"

"Oh yeah, no problemo. Gotta respect the Rules of Villainy, on duty and off. Ralph and Sam."

Once Shego had left, and Ron had gotten Rufus out of his post-chocloate daze, he realized he didn't want to go home just yet. "So, KP, Bueno Nacho? I'm buyin'."

"Sure, Ron. Bueno Nacho."

"Oh yeah. All is right with the world."

* * *

In the main lab of the lair, Drakken was having a great deal of trouble with his plan. It seemed like he had been stuck on Stage 3 forever. What was wrong with his concentration these days? It had been shot ever since Shego had gotten that new ringtone that he heard _all the time_ now. And Shego herself had become a bit of a problem. She'd been gone a lot, more than usual, and she was acting stranger than usual, too. Like her mood swings. She went from happy and smiley to short-tempered and violent frighteningly quickly. He had looked her over, very circumspectly, for another Moodulator, but her brainwaves seemed to be normal.

Still, it was very out of character for her. There had to be a reason. He had a sudden realization - Shego was up to something. She's going to leave me, that's what it is! She's probably going to take up with my cousin again, or Dementor, that little runt. She kept bringing up her contract, too. When did the thing expire, anyway? He really couldn't remember when they had last negotiated it, but it must have been a while ago. Maybe back around the time of the neuro-compliance chip incident? That must be it. Her contract was up for renewal, and she'd never forgiven him for that, so she was going to jump ship and go somewhere else.

Well, that was just swell, wasn't it? The nerve of that woman! After all they had been through together. It was just like her to hold a grudge all this time, just because of a couple of stupid little incidents. Yes, he had probably bored her with his stories of old villainous schemes, but that was part of her job description, wasn't it? It should be. He would have to remember to make sure it got put into the contract this time.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't Eddie or Dementor. He didn't know who it would be. All he knew is that she'd been talking to that 'Sam' person a lot. 'Sam', right. That was _clearly_ a code name of some kind. And that 'Hazelnut Two' business? It was obvious that had to be part of it. It probably had to do with whatever personal hovercraft she was asking for. He was clearly going to have to have a talk with Shego. He wasn't looking forward to that.

* * *

Next time: Shego thinks of a way to solve their problem, but a price must be paid.

* * *

**A/N:**

Man, this chapter was hard to finish. I kept trying to end it, and none of the characters would shut up. So, you got this. I hope it worked. Sorry about all the talking.

_Bù cúnzài_ is Chinese for "not there", at least according to Google Translate. It sounds like a terrific name for a martial arts style.

It's been a while since I watched all the episodes. I know they've run into Shego at least once while she was on vacation, but I don't remember the circumstances. I'm going to say that the incident in Greece actually happened. If it didn't, it should have.

**Disclaimer:**

I own nothing Kim Possible related. You should know this.


	11. Problem solved, price charged

**Problem solved, price charged**

* * *

**A/N:**

I'm afraid I'm going to have to make you guys wait a few weeks before I have the next chapter out. When I started posting this, I had 10 chapters done; now, I have 1, mostly. Part of this is writer's block, part of it is that it's a lot harder to write some of these chapters than I thought it would be, and part of it has been me just being lazy. So, I'll be taking a small break, and recharging, and building my buffer back up. I'm really sorry to have to disappoint you like this, and I promise it won't be too long.

Huge thanks to Hexflame, who pointed out not one, but two places people referred to Lauren by the wrong name. Fixed now. It's like they never happened...

Thanks too to Obsessive Imaginings for pointing out some *more* typos. Do I even bother to proofread this before posting?

* * *

"What am I going to do, Shego? I can't just bring you to dinner. But what can I do, tell him the truth? Oh god, I hate lying, especially to Ron. But what else can I do? I can't just keep making up excuses."

"Don't worry, Kimmie. I'll take care of this." Shego looked around Espresso Hell, scanning the tables, muttering something about swinging to herself. "C'mon." Kim gave a shrug of confusion and followed Shego over to a table on the other side of the room.

"Hey, Lauren", Shego said to a tall blonde woman with striking cheekbones, piercing blue eyes, glasses and an outdoor look about her, who looked up from what seemed to be a research paper she was working on and gave them a big smile.

"Shannon! Haven't seen you at swing in a while. How've you been? You're looking happy."

"Yeah, well, I've been kinda busy these days. This is my friend Kim. Kim, Lauren. We kinda need to ask you a favor."

"Hi, Kim. Sit down, what do you need?" So this was Shannon's doomed love interest. Good lord, she was cute. The sheepish look she was currently wearing didn't hurt any. No wonder Shannon had been mooning around like a lovesick teenager all this time.

"Oh thank you. So this is Kim, right, and she needs to..." Shego really did not like how uncomfortable and awkward this was making her feel. Why would it be awkward? She was just asking a friend for a favor. It wasn't like it was the most important favor she could ever ask for or anything, or a big imposition on someone she didn't even know all that well outside of here and swing, and it wasn't like this was the only person she could think of who could possibly do this.

Was Shego _embarrassed_? Kim could not believe it. Kim did not think that Shego had ever been embarrassed in her life, or that she even could be embarrassed. Kim tried not to smile at Shego's discomfort. Although she _would_ tease her about it later. That was a given. Kim was so taken with this idea she almost didn't notice that Shego had called her 'Kim'.

Okay, Shego. Just say it already. "Okay, here's the deal. Kim and I met a while ago, sort of became friends, and started getting together for coffee. Her boyfriend is getting a little jealous of all the time we've been spending together and wants to meet me. For various reasons too complicated to explain, I can't go. But if we keep blowing him off, he's going to get suspicious about Kim's new 'friend' and cause all sorts of problems. So, we sort of need someone to take my place."

"You need a fake girlfriend?" Lauren wasn't sure if this was amusing or a disaster waiting to happen. Amusement was currently winning out, that and curiosity. "I think I've seen this movie."

"Not a girlfriend girlfriend, a girl friend girlfriend!", Kim shot out almost before Lauren had finished. The blush going up her cheeks just made her even cuter, Lauren thought. "You know, just for dinner at Bueno Nacho, with Ron. He's my boyfriend." The girl seemed almost apologetic about that, Lauren noted. She wondered which part.

"Bueno Nacho?" Lauren hadn't eaten there since 7th grade, once she had realized what was actually in it.

"Sorry. I know. It's just that it's Ron's favorite place." Kim seemed rather embarrassed. "They have salads", she added, almost as an afterthought. "That's what I usually get."

"Please, Lauren." Shannon had a pleading look in her eyes that Lauren had not known she was capable of. This was apparently serious. Lauren had known Shannon for a while now, and had never seen her anything less than composed and supremely confident. This was somewhat disconcerting. Oh, what the hell. How bad could one Bueno Nacho meal be?

"Okay, Shannon, but you know it's going to cost you. You're coming to swing the next 5 weeks. And you owe me one. A big one."

"5 weeks? Fine, fine. Whatever you want. Just - thank you."

* * *

Okay, well, that wasn't so bad. She'd been right - Shego had thought of something. All they had to do now was handle an hour or two at Bueno Nacho with Lauren and make it seem like they hadn't just met the day before. Kim supposed that wouldn't be too difficult, since Shego had given her such a good story to use.

No, the hard part was going to be lying to Ron. Well, it was only a little bit, but still. Of course, she didn't really have much choice, did she? She sure couldn't tell him the truth; never mind all the other reasons why that would be a ferociously bad idea, his freakout would be so epic that he'd probably wind up in a coma. So, this was really for his own good, wasn't it?

That rationale went down more easily than it used to, but Kim still had a question she needed answered.

"Shannon? Um, what's 'swing'? Is it one of those things I really don't want to know about? Or do you actually go up on swings?"

Shego wanted to tease Kimmie about being so naive, but she was too worried about how to get out of this. She really didn't want to hear about how cute Kimmie thought it was that big bad Shego was into dancing to her grandparents' music. The girl would never shut up about it.

She considered giving her a line about it being kinky sex play, and wondered why she didn't. The old Shego would have. She shouldn't have been surprised by this, not any more, the way Kimmie kept wrapping Shego around her finger. Great. I'm pussywhipped, and I'm not even getting any. When the fuck has that ever happened? She sighed.

"No, Pumpkin, nothing like that. It's dancing to swing music. You know, like the Charleston and the Jitterbug, dancing to Benny Goodman and Cab Calloway, from the 1930s and 40s. And before you start teasing me about it, it's something I used to do with my dad. It brings back memories. Good memories. And no, you can't ask me about them."

Kim wondered about some of those memories. They were probably pretty intense, if the tight, closed-off look that flashed across Shego's face for a moment was any indication. Kim knew she wasn't going to ask, even though she was dying to. Still, this was a pretty big thing. Kim couldn't remember Shego ever even mentioning anything about her family, other than to complain about how much she didn't like her brothers. She suddenly realized she knew absolutely nothing else about Shego's family. What were her parents like, and what did they think about her life of crime and villainy?

Kim wondered if Shego would ever loosen up enough to tell her. She wondered if she would ever be able to work up the courage to ask. It seemed to be a bit of a sore subject. Omigod, what if her parents had been killed when the comet hit? She had never heard about them getting powers, and Shego got that very cold and dangerous look when the subject even came up. Oh, god, of course that's what happened. Oh, geez. Poor Shego. No wonder you went bad, no wonder you're so cranky and unpleasant all the time. But that's so not you, not the real you. I can see that now, now that you've actually opened up a little bit. Maybe I can help you open up some more?

Kim knew she was going to have to tread very carefully indeed if she was going to do anything other than push the woman away. This was enough of a breakthrough for one night. Still, the fact that Shego liked dancing couldn't go unteased about.

"You dance, Shannon? I would never have expected that. And to old music like that? Wow. Do you wear the clothes, and have the hairdos? Is it like the Renaissance Faire? You must look really cute."

Okay, she had known this was coming. It wasn't actually all that bad. It actually felt kind of - nice. Shego shuddered a little, inside, as she tried not to think about how soft she'd gotten. She sure couldn't let Kimmie know that. She tried for irritated and grumpy.

"Princess..."

"Oh, come on. I would never in a million years have guessed that you'd be into something like that. It just seems so - out of character for you, that's all. And I still think it's cute."

"Well, Princess, there are a lot of things you don't know about me." And one thing is how fucking good that feels, knowing you think that I'm cute. I'll show you just how cute some time.

"And I'm looking forward to finding all about them, too", Kim said with a happy little smile.

"And maybe you will sometime", Shego replied, her own smile more honest and less smirky than either of them had expected. "That is, if you're not too annoying about bugging me about it."

"If you think that's going to stop me, Shannon, you don't know me very well."

"Whatever. I know you well enough to know you can be very annoying when you want to be."

"Hmph. I am not annoying. I'm determined."

"Your very determination is annoying."

"Oh, right. That's the thing you respect about me, my determination. You pretty much said it yourself."

"Agh! Possible, you're impossible. Just give it a rest." Shego tried not to smile at all at the way Kimmie had gotten her. She was supposed to be irritated. Still, she could throw the girl a bone. And she did really want to do this, anyway.

"Hey, Kimmie. You want to come to swing dancing with me?"

* * *

Lauren hesitated and cringed a little as she put her hand on the door of the Bueno Nacho. The smells, which used to make her preteen self's mouth water, now just made her slightly queasy. She set her shoulders, took a breath, opened the door and walked in, looking around for Kim.

There she was. Lauren looked over to see the redhead waving happily at her. She waved back, and walked over to sit down next to Kim, and across from a goofy-looking blond boy with an earnest expression and a mouth full of food. Kim did the introductions.

"Ron, this is Shannon. Shannon, my best friend in the world, oh, and my boyfriend, Ron Stoppable."

The kid jumped up to shake her hand, but without swallowing. "Hi, Shannon! Any friend of Kim's is a friend of mine. And of course, this is Rufus." He pointed at a weird-looking pink creature Lauren hadn't noticed yet, eating nachos enthusiastically. What the hell? She was even more shocked when the - rodent? - jumped up and held out its paw, and made a sound very much like "glad to meet you".

Ooo-kay, this was going to be a strange night. Kim had warned her that Ron was a bit odd, but she could have mentioned the talking pet. Or whatever it was. Lauren wondered if it was the product of some science experiment. Considering some of the things that they got up to over in the Biology department, she wouldn't be surprised.

"Hi Ron. Hi, Rufus. Nice to meet you too." Lauren took Rufus's paw in her fingers, which were shaken enthusiastically. "Hey, Kim. Nice seeing you again. I'm just going to go order."

"Tell Ned I said to take good care of you. He'll set you up Grande-size!"

Lauren tried not to shudder at this advice. She really hoped the salads would be edible. Still, it was nice of the boy to offer.

* * *

Sitting down with her Hablamos Salad and ice tea, Lauren said a little prayer to the gods of cuisine that she would avoid heartburn or worse. She would have to run an extra 5 miles tomorrow to make up for it. Oh well. At least it smelled good.

Ron started off the conversation. "So, how'd you guys meet?"

Lauren was too distracted by the sight of the boy picking up that huge, dripping...thing and shovelling it into his mouth to say anything. Kim jumped in. "I was doing research on Monkey Fist, you know, to see what I could find out about him, see if maybe there was something I could find out that would help you out the next time you two met up."

Gawd, she hated having to lie to him. But what was she gong to do? Tell him 'No, Ron, I'm really hanging out with Shego'? Gah. This was way worse than that whole Halloween party fiasco a few years ago. "Anyway, Shannon does primate research, and knows people in the supernatural community, so she seemed like an obvious person to talk to, and I went over to her office and we went out for coffee and got to talking, and pretty soon we were friends."

"Ah, that was very nice of you, KP. The less I have to think about _that_ freak the better."

Monkey Fist? Was that someone they dealt with on their 'missions'? And why did Ron have to deal with him? "Monkey Fist?"

"Eh, heh heh. He's my arch-enemy. Or is he my nemesis now? I'm not sure. Anyway, he's this really scary part-monkey guy who does Tai Shing Pek Kwar kung fu and has all these horrible little monkey ninjas, and he seems to think I've stolen his monkey powers. Now every time we run into each other, I have to fight him. I mean, I'm the sidekick, right? Kim's the hero. Fighting the bad guys is her job. Mine is to be the distraction. And, you know, push buttons on the doomsday machine until it blows up or the lair self-destructs."

All right, Lauren had to admit it. She was impressed now. He could keep up with a Tai Shing Pek Kwar master? There was apparently more to this kid than there seemed. There pretty much had to be. "Do you run into him a lot?"

"No, we've only seen him a couple times in the last few years. Good thing, too." Ron shuddered. "Geaaghhh, monkeys."

The pink thing - Rufus - popped up from the depths of a bowl of nachos and blew a raspberry. "Monkeys, bah!" he chittered. Seriously? Wasn't this violating the health code? Why did they even let him in here? Lauren was, again, thankful she had stopped eating in places like this years ago.

"So is that the kind of thing you guys usually deal with on your missions?" Lauren had thought saving orphanages from tsunamis was more than enough for a teenager.

"Well, usually it's something pretty easy, like rescuing trapped mountain climbers or helping keep somebody's ship from sinking", Kim put in. "Guys like Drakken and Dementor and Monkey Fist are just some of the time. They do seem to show up an awful lot, though."

Lauren was incredibly intrigued. Who were these kids, anyway, and how could they think that sort of thing was easy? "Well, if you think rescuing trapped mountain climbers is easy, I'd love to know what you think is difficult."

"Let's see. Drakken is a mad scientist who always has these take-over-the-world schemes, but they usually wind up foiling themselves. The only reason he's any kind of a challenge at all is Shego, the woman who works for him. She's the only one out of all of them who can give me any fight at all. Professor Dementor is another mad scientist, this weird little German guy, who always wears this helmet over his face and has a bunch of giant wiener dogs. He's never really any trouble, though, although some of the things he invents are kind of nasty."

"Yeah, KP, he made those balls that stuck me and Barkin together, and you and Bonnie." Ron visibly shuddered, at what sounded like an unpleasant memory.

"Ugh, Ron, don't remind me. Bonnie is my biggest enemy in school, and Mr. Barkin is the assistant principal in charge of discipline. He doesn't really like either of us very much. Dementor made these little balls of goop that molecularly bonded you to whoever you touched. That was... not a fun sitch."

"Tell me about it, KP. I had to get up at 5:00 in the morning and go sell Pixie Scout muffins. And Barkin snores! Really, really loudly. Plus he steals the covers." Ron shuddered some more.

"And Bonnie's sisters are even worse than she is, if you can believe that. Anyway, aside from them, there's also Duff Killigan, who likes to use exploding golf balls, and DNAmy, who keeps trying to make real-life Cuddle Buddies. There are a couple of others, but those are the main ones."

"Okay, Kim. That's pretty intense. I can see why you never wanted to talk about it."

"Eh, it's no big. I just don't want to talk about work when I'm off the clock."

"I can see why not. And your parents are fine with all of this?" What the hell kind of family did she have, anyway?

"Oh, they raised me to help people, and always do what I thought was right. When I started going on missions, they gave me all their support. Our family motto is 'Anything's possible for a Possible'. And I have Ron and Wade with me. Wade's a genius who runs my website. He builds all of our devices and gives us mission support and sets us up with rides. My parents know I can take care of myself, and they know I'm in good hands."

Okay, Lauren was really impressed, with both of them. What kind of people were they, running around after mad scientists and supervillains like it was nothing? And they looked like they were young enough to still be in high school. This was 'no big'? Lauren thought back to her high school days. Their idea of being rebellious and acting up was to smoke cigarettes and drink beer out by the golf course on a weekend night, and daring each other to go down Anaconda Hill on their skateboards. She wondered what her parents would have thought if she had told them she was going to stop some madman from trying to take over the world. No doubt they would have locked her in the basement until they could bundle her off to parochial school. An all-girls parochial school.

"Yes, well, you two are really rather remarkable, aren't you? And none of this concerns you? Aren't you afraid of getting killed by exploding golf balls or something?"

"Eh, like I said, it's no big. Most them are pretty harmless, even though they always think otherwise. Well, except for Shego, maybe. She's pretty intense. Yeah, she's...wow..." Kim trailed off, mind clearly on their past encounters.

Ron, being between bites, broke in. "'Pretty intense', KP? She's the worst! She's deadly! She's always trying to kill us, especially Kim, with this freaky plasma she can shoot from her hands. She's scary and creepy with green skin and she's always putting us in deathtraps!" The boy was getting agitated, waving his hands around excitedly. "She hates us both."

Rufus surfaced from the Naco he was eating a little too enthusiastically, and again came out with something that sounded unsettlingly like English. "Shego! Bad girl!"

"Actually, Ron", Kim started, looking a little nervous about it, "She's not really all that bad, these days."

"Not that bad? KP, _deathtraps_. Remember? Shark tanks, bottomless pits? Ringing a bell?"

"And what did she say, just the other day? That she's not really trying to kill us? Remember? We were sitting there for half an hour, she was being really nice and polite, mostly?"

"Yeah, well that was just Ralph and Sam, Kim. The next time we meet, she's going to go right back to trying to kill us."

Kim squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She seemed to be getting a headache.

"Ron." Kim looked like she was trying hard to keep from saying something, probably something she would regret. "For the last time, she's not trying to kill us. I know it sometimes seems that way, but like she said, if she wanted to kill us, we'd be dead by now."

Apparently, Ron was going to keep on trying. "You know we can't trust her, KP. She's _Shego!_" Lauren noticed that even Rufus was rolling his eyes. Huh.

"So if she's so bad and untrustworthy, why would she follow the Rules of Villainy? Why would she bother sitting here nicely? Why would she call you 'Stoppable' instead of 'Buffoon', just because I asked her to? Told her to."

"Oh, it's obvious, Kim. She just wants to... You see, her plan is... She's trying to... Okay, I got nothing." Ron was looking a little confused now. Lauren got the feeling that he looked that way a lot. She watched, fascinated, as he apparently tried to reconcile all these new ideas with his previous ones. It was rather entertaining. A variety of expressions were going across his face, from bewilderment to understanding, stopping occasionally on annoyance, then back to deep thought, before finally winding up at grudging acceptance.

"Okay, Kim. Okay. I will conditionally accept the fact that she's not going to kill us any time soon. And, I have to admit, she can be nice when she wants to be. For you, because you're my best friend and I trust you no matter what, I will maybe believe that she's not as evil as she always says she is. But I still don't trust her."

Kim looked notably relieved at this. Lauren found herself wondering why she cared so much. Kim wanted them to be friendly enemies, maybe. Huh, she thought again. She didn't know very much about the world of heroes and villains, other than what she'd heard tonight. Apparently there was more to it than she had realized.

"Thank you, Ron. This means a lot to me. I don't expect you to trust her, just...give her the benefit of the doubt." Kim leaned over and kissed Ron on the cheek. The boy looked like he was going to burst with happiness. Kim had an enormous smile of her own that made her eyes light up and her complexion glow. Wow. She could see why Shannon had it so bad. This was even better than the sheepishness and the blushing. God, if Lauren liked girls, she would have gone after this one herself.

"Boo-yah! I can do that, KP. Ralph and Sam, huh?"

"Ralph and Sam! Yummy scones!" Rufus rubbed his stomach and ran over to fist-bump Ron. "Good choice! Kinda weird."

"Yeah, buddy, that's so true. Really weird, but what about our lives isn't?"

With that apparently resolved, Ron went back to attacking his food with gusto. Good lord, that was unsettling. Did the boy just put an entire psuedo-Mexican whatever that was into his mouth, sideways? And swallow it? He would have an extremely successful career in some of the more exclusive fetish video markets, if he swung that way. She considered asking him about it, if only to see the reaction. She would have to wait until he had run out of food, since he was sitting directly across from them.

Lauren gave a questioning glance to Kim. The girl seemed used to this, but looked apologetic again and shrugged slightly when Lauren caught her eye. "It's Ron", she mouthed. Lauren wondered how one could get used to that. It seemed that being best friends since childhood covered for a lot of sins. Lauren had to remind herself that the two were boyfriend-girlfriend. That seemed like the hardest thing to believe of anything she had heard tonight. Best friends forever, she reminded herself. Right, because a peck on the cheek just screamed 'true love'.

Rufus, meanwhile, seemed to be engaged in an eating contest with Ron. They looked like they were trying to see who could eat a plate of - something or other - faster. Rufus seemed to be giving Ron quite a run for his money. Kim, for her part, looked like she wanted to crawl under the table. Lauren decided to see if she could liven things up a bit.

"So, Ron. I have a pet, too. His name's Shakti, he's a six-foot long boa constrictor. He'd probably love to meet Rufus. I don't think Rufus would like him, though."

This got an immediate reaction. Ron immediately stopped eating and looked frozen in place. Rufus, at the first mention of 'boa', had shrieked out "Ah! Snakes!" and ran over and dove into Ron's pocket, buttoning it after him (how did that work, she wondered briefly). Well, that was entertaining. Lauren now felt bad about it, though, especially after seeing the looks on Kim and Ron's faces. Rufus's reaction had been entertaining, though. How much English did the little thing understand? Lauren was starting to wonder which was the smarter of the two, him or Ron.

"Sorry, Ron. Sorry, Rufus. I shouldn't have said that, that was mean. I spend too much time around...never mind. I promise, Shakti will never meet you, either of you."

Rufus poked his head out of Ron's pocket cautiously. "No snakes?" He didn't seem too sure.

"No, Rufus. No snakes, I swear."

Rufus still looked dubious. "I tell you what." Lauren pulled out a $20 bill. "Let me make it up to you. Whatever you guys want."

Ron and Rufus looked at each other with a significant expression, then high-fived and shouted "Naco Platters! A-boo-yah!" at the same time and ran up to the counter, all thoughts of snakes forgotten.

Once they had gone, Kim turned to Lauren. "You know you've made a friend for life there, right?"

"Two friends, I think. You were right, Kim. They are something else. And your life is a lot more than 'pretty interesting'."

"Ah, it really is no big. Just a little time-consuming, these days. But Ron? There's no one else like him. I love him with all my heart. I just wish... I wish he was more..."

"Grown up?"

"I was going to say 'domesticated', but maybe, yeah. I just want to be able to talk about stuff with him like I do with Shannon. And, maybe have a nice meal together without him embarrassing me. Am I a bad person?" Well, maybe you're going bad, Kim. You spend all this time with Shego, but nice as she is these days, she's still a criminal. She's got you sneaking around and lying to Ron, maybe she's starting to rub off on you. Kim wondered, not for the first time, how much you had to overlook before you weren't a hero any more. Was cleaning up blood from a crime scene actively participating in villainy? This would be a whole lot easier if Shego wasn't a villain any more.

"Of course not, Kim. Look at all the things you do, saving the world. You're a hero - a big hero. Just because you want your boyfriend to act like an adult and be interested in the same things you are, that doesn't make you any less of one. That just makes you normal."

"I guess. It just makes me feel bad. I mean, he's Ron, he's been my best friend since we were four, he's my boyfriend, and I keep making excuses not to spend time with him so I can spend it with Shannon. I'm a terrible girlfriend."

"I doubt you're all that bad", Lauren started, when the boys came back with two trays loaded with food. Kim shrugged again. "Teenage boys, you know. And mole rats. I don't know where they put it either."

Once Ron and Rufus had sat down and settled in with their food, Ron asked "So, Shannon. What do you do? Kim said you were a professor?"

"Yes, I teach Extreme Primate Behavior at MU. My specialty is shinja monkeys from Nepal..."

Ron turned an unnatural shade of gray. "Gahh, ninja monkeys! Kim!" Rufus ducked back into his plate of food.

"Ron! No ninja monkeys. _Shinja_ monkeys." Kim took Ron's arm protectively and patted his hand to calm him down.

"Yes, sorry, Ron. Shinja monkeys come from Nepal, they're actually darling little creatures, very smart and friendly, but mischievous. I discovered them on a field trip, while researching an obscure genus of great apes. It was actually quite an interesting little adventure." Lauren chuckled at the memory of how much of a mess they had made of the campsite, and how cute they had looked trying to hide in the tent. Roger still hadn't forgiven her for laughing like that instead of being upset like he was.

"Well, I'm sure they're really cute, but I know just how smart they are, and how not-nice they can be, so I'm just going to assume that happened and take your word for it."

"Ron sort of has issues with monkeys", Kim offered, by way of explanation.

"I can see", Lauren said. "I guess we should change the subject. Maybe you can tell me how you got started doing all this hero business."

"Well, that's kind of a funny story. Back in middle school, I wanted to get after-school jobs, so I put up a website..."

* * *

As they were leaving, Lauren thought about how much her opinion of Ron, and Rufus, had changed tonight. From the stories they had all told, and the way he seemed to worship Kim, the boy was something else indeed, someone extremely special. You would just never know it to look at him. If he was supposed to be the distraction, and break things accidentally, then he seemed to be the perfect person for the job. Although, if his pants fell down so often, how come he didn't wear a belt?

Rufus was another thing. She had come to accept the little pink thing as - well, if not sapient, then more than just sentient. Of course, if he could apparently understand English, and he knew how to do things like find self-destruct buttons and pull important parts out of doomsday machines, he was a lot closer to 'intelligent' than any animal she had ever met, even the ones she worked with. She wondered if she could convince them ('them', she realized, not 'Ron') to come down to her lab and do some tests. Maybe she should find someplace other than a primate research lab, though, considering the boy's issues.

And Kim. Good god, Kim. If even a tenth of what they said happened actually happened, the girl was more than amazing, she was almost superhuman. No wonder Shannon held her in such high regard. Lauren had met a number of heroic types, including Team Impossible once, and they all seemed to have the same things in common - a huge ego and a big need for attention.

Kim, though, the most heroic one in the bunch, was almost shy about it. She was all 'no big' and 'anyone could have done it' and acting like she'd rather be talking about almost anything else, making it seem like Ron and Rufus had done it all themselves, or their friend Wade. Lauren still didn't understand how a 10-year-old, no matter how smart, could make all the things he did, but this was a pretty improbable team all around. If there was someone like that, this group would have found them.

Lauren decided that, however unlikely it was, she wanted this Shannon-Kim thing to work, somehow. Aside from how smitten Shannon was, Lauren couldn't imagine anyone who could match up to her so well, with the same level of intensity and athletic skill. Besides, Kim needed to date somebody, anybody, other than Ron. Lauren had seen how Kim's eyes lit up when she was looking at Shannon, almost as much as Shannon's lit up around her. Lauren didn't catch a lesbian vibe at all off the girl, or any kind of vibe, for that matter. Maybe she was asexual? Shannon would be disappointed, but they could still be good friends.

Lauren realized she had just spent over two hours listening to those two telling war stories, and they hadn't even finished talking about junior year. It occurred to her that she wanted to hear more about that whole sucked-into-a-television-dimension business. "Do either of you guys want to get coffee? I'm really enjoying hearing about all your adventures."

"Not us." Ron looked like he was in a bit of a stupor, and Rufus didn't look much livelier. "Me and Rufus have a date with Scamper and Bitey."

Kim's first thought was "heck, yeah". Then she realized Shego wouldn't be there, and her enthusiasm deflated a bit. Still, Lauren was really cool, and Kim, for one, was kind of interested in hearing about her research. Plus, she wanted to play Karina some of those Rasputina concert recordings Wade had found. "I'm up", she piped up happily. I could use a scone, for dessert."

"Did you hear? They have hamantaschen now. Karina's aunt makes them on Mondays and Thursdays."

"Spankin! Let's go, while there are still some left. Bye, Ron, see you tomorrow."

"Good night, KP. Nice to meet you, Shannon. Oh - can you bring me back some hamantaschen? My folks love them."

"Nice meeting you too, Ron. I'll make sure Kim comes back with a big sackful."

* * *

Next time: Swing dancing!

* * *

**A/N:**

This chapter was a bitch to write. At first, I couldn't figure out what anybody was going to say, then I couldn't get them to stop. It works that way sometimes.

Some people may be wondering why, if Kim's such a big famous hero, Lauren has never heard of her. Clearly, it's because of [reason]. Obviously.

Lots of you probably hate me now, but was I the only one that thought the Naco was really disgusting looking? Maybe it was all the dripping.

I'm sorry if I didn't give Lauren much of a personality. If I could write OCs, I'd probably wouldn't be just writing fanfic.

So, I've decided that Karina's aunt is on her mother's side, making Karina legally Jewish, although not practicing. Her father is a big old goy, though.

Hamantaschen are unbelievably delicious, by the way.

To guest reviewer Don Redmond: I know, right? And they leave empty glasses and overflowing ashtrays everywhere, and eat all your food. I love Ron, even if he is a goof, and I hate the Ron-bashing. Thank you for appreciating that too.


	12. It Don't Mean a Thing

**It Don't Mean a Thing...**

* * *

**A/N:**

Okay, this chapter sort of turned into an epic. So much so that I had to split it up into two parts. I'll have the second half up next Friday. Because I'm a tease like that. And because it's not done yet, and I wanted to have something for you this month. You guys have been waiting so patiently and all. Well, mostly patiently...

Thank you to reviewer otaku03 for pointing out the correct gender usage of _chérie_. As you may have realized, I speak no French. Everything I write that's not in English comes from Google Translate.

* * *

_beep-beep-be-beep_

"Hey, Kimmie. What's up?"

"Hi, Shego. So, I was wondering about swing dancing? That's this Friday, right? What the heck am I supposed to wear for something like that?"

Shego tried not to think about Kimmie in a miniskirt, or her cheerleading outfit. That would be really inappropriate anyway. "Just wear something you can move easily in. A skirt that will swirl around as you move is good. And comfortable shoes. Leave the heels to the professionals."

A skirt that swirled? Kim didn't have one of those. She didn't think the LBD would be a good choice either. "Oh nuts. I don't think I have anything like that. I guess I'm going to have to go to Club Banana again." Kim tried to huff, but it didn't really work.

"Oh, right, Princess. You get to go shopping and you're _so_ put out about it. You need to work on your indignation if you want to get to my level."

"Oh, fine. See right through me, why don't you? Yes, I _get_ to go. It's not like I really need an excuse anyway. And I know you're rolling your eyes."

Busted. Although Shego supposed she really was that predictable, another thought she would never have had a month ago. "Well, you make them roll so easily, Pumpkin." And it's so, so adorable. At least you can't tell how widely I'm smiling right now. "Keep saying things like that, I'll keep rolling them."

"Whatever. I admit, I'm kind of girly."

"Girly, huh? Here I thought you were a big old tomboy, considering the cargo pants you always wear and the fighting and all."

"Well, you've only really seen me in a dress that once, haven't you? Let me tell you, I can be very girly if I put my mind to it."

Shego's brain stopped working properly for a moment, too busy with visions of Kimmie in various slinky gowns and stockings. After a moment or two, she managed to kick it back onto the tracks. "Okay, Princess. I'd like to see that. You can show me what you've got on Friday." 'Show me what you've got'? Jesus, Shego. Can you be a little more obvious about it?

Kim really liked the idea of looking girly for Shego. She'd show her she was more than mission outfits and t-shirts. She was looking forward to this even more now. "Oh, I'll show you what I've got, Shego. I'll show you. I've got a lot."

Kim didn't think much about how that could be taken, but Shego did. "And I look forward to seeing all of it, Kimmie. Impress me."

"Oh, you will definitely be impressed." Kim sensed a challenge in Shego's words, and her Kimness started to act up. Yeah, Shego, I'm going to impress the heck out of you.

The chatted for a while longer before Shego ended the call, claiming vague 'things to do'. Kim very much hoped they weren't anything illegal. She would have been very surprised indeed to know exactly what Shego had been planning to do ever since Kim had said she 'had a lot'.

Once she had hung up, Kim immediately made another call.

"Hey Mo. You want to go shopping?"

"You know it, girl, but why does Kim I-never-have-time-for-my-BFGF-any-more Possible want to go shopping all of a sudden?"

"I need something for swing dancing. Something with a skirt that swirls around, apparently."

"Swing dancing?" Kim could hear Mo's eyebrow being raised over the phone.

"It's dancing to swing music, from the 1930s. It sounds ferociously fun."

"Uh huh." Mo sounded dubious. "And you're all of a sudden interested in dancing to my grandfather's music why?"

"Um, I was invited."

"Aw, did your villain girlfriend ask you out dancing?"

"Mo! She's not my girlfriend! You know that. She just promised a friend she would go, and she asked me to come along." Kim had another pang of guilt, thinking about the circumstances. She really needed to get some of this off her chest. Monique understood, right? She seemed okay with the whole sitch last time they talked about it. Kim would just explain about how she couldn't tell Ron what was going on, and had to sort of evade a little, and Mo would totally get it. So not the drama, right?

Monique was sure Kim was blushing again. Damn, get her so embarrassed about something like this, what would she do if it was a guy? "Okay, girlfriend. I'll swing by and pick you up in 20. You can tell me all about it. You know you will, too. You're gonna tell me all the dirt."

Umm, not all the dirt, Mo. Just some of it. "Thanks, Mo. I do need to talk about some stuff, though."

Uh-huh, and this just got better and better. By the sound of relief in Kim's voice, this was some kind of important deal. "And we will definitely be doing that. Later, GF."

"Bye, Mo." Okay, from the confident tone of Mo's voice, Kim was probably going to be giving up more dirt than she had planned to. Kim supposed that would be for the best. Then maybe it wouldn't keep eating away at her like this.

* * *

Kim looked at the racks at Club Banana Upscale, somewhat overwhelmed by the selection. Kim had no problem wearing dresses, even if she felt more comfortable in a top and a loose-fitting pair of pants, but she only had a few of them, including the LBD, which was much more of a special-occasion thing, so she really wasn't sure where to start. Well, this was why she had asked Mo along. The other reason, anyway.

Fortunately, Mo was going to start. "Okay, girlfriend. We're where the grownups shop. So what are you looking for? I need something more than 'going dancing'."

"Something girly. Can you believe she told me I look like a tomboy?"

Monique couldn't help chuckling. "Well, you do dress kind of butch, Kim. Not that it doesn't work for you, but you ain't what anyone would call a girly-girl."

"Hey! I dress for comfort, and practicality. I can't help if that's not girly enough for you. Or here. And I can be very girly when I want to be."

"Okay, 'girly' is a start. That still leaves half the things in the store. Can you narrow it down for me a bit?"

"Come on, Mo. This is your field, not mine. Something with a swirly skirt, that I can move around in. Help me out here." Kim waved weakly around the store.

"Yeah, Kim? In case you forgot, you're supposed to be telling be all about dancing with your villainess right now. Come on, girl. Spill."

Come on, Kim. Just get it over with. It's just like pulling off a band-aid. "Oh, Mo. It's so complicated. We were having coffee the other day, me and Shannon? Ron shows up. Out of nowhere."

"Well, knowing how the boy feels about coffee, I'm gonna guess he didn't just stop by for a mocha."

"Oh, he was totally following me. He admitted it. I keep ducking out on Bueno Nacho, and I'm drinking coffee, so he figured there had to be something wrong."

Like you growing up and realizing he's a great best friend but a really bad boyfriend? "Okay, Kim. That's bordering on a little creepy. He does realize you have other friends, right? Friends that don't eat at Bueno Nacho all the time?"

"According to him, just not wanting to go to Bueno Nacho is a sign of a deeply disturbed personality. Anyway, he's worried that I'm in trouble or there's something wrong with me because I'm not acting like 'Old Kim'. I actually caught him checking me over for mind control chips a while ago."

"Okay, that's definitely getting into the weird zone. At least, weird for Ron. For anyone else, it would be right over into 'creepy as hell'. So, what did you tell Ron - that you were hanging out with your favorite villainess?"

"Oh, Mo, it's worse than that. Ron knows her too - we've run into her on missions. I completely froze up - Shannon, bless her soul, said that my friend hadn't showed up and she'd come over to annoy me. At least he had no problem believing that. Well, eventually. Anyway, then he wants to meet her, my friend, that is. You know, so he could get to know the other person I'm spending time with. So, I panic, like you'd expect, and start freaking out a little bit, until Shannon introduces me to a friend of hers who's willing to go in her place, and in exchange, she has to go to swing dancing, which is apparently a thing that she and Lauren do."

Monique was a little worried, and kind of impressed. On the one hand, it wasn't like Kim to lie or hide the truth from people. She'd learned that lesson a long time ago. On the other hand, this was Ron. He tended to overreact. Okay, that was an understatement. He tended to freak out about damn near anything. Kim might be able to deal with villains on a Ralph and Sam basis, but Monique didn't want to think about how Ron would take it. The freakout would be epic, though.

"Well, if I didn't know you better, Kim, I would be a little more worried than I am. I know damn well you can handle yourself being buddies with a bad guy, at least if they're not that bad like you say. Ron, on the other hand..."

Kim's conscience twinged again at the fact that she was keeping things from Mo too, but she was still convinced Shego was okay, at least these days. Kim pushed all that away. One half-truth at a time.

"That would not be a pretty sight." Kim couldn't help laughing at the image of introducing Shego as her coffee friend. Ron would turn all sorts of interesting colors and start babbling, and probably poke himself in the eye waving his hands around.

"Entertaining, but not pretty. But I am kind of worried about you lying to Ron like that."

"Oh Mo, I feel horrible about it. I hate to lie, you know that. And I hate lying to Ron. It makes me feel terrible every time I do it. Ever since that whole Halloween sitch, I've realized it's a totally bad idea. But gawd, what other choice do I have?"

Well, you could not hang around with villains, for one. Monique didn't think that was likely. You could also break off this ridiculous thing with Ron and go back to being best friends like you're supposed to be. That wasn't too likely either.

"Other than breaking one or the other of these relationships off? Not much. Knowing you? That's not gonna happen. You're gonna get all stubborn about 'I can do anything', and your Kimness is gonna get going, and your life will turn into a screwball comedy, with people hiding in closets and pretending to be long-lost relatives. Okay, it sounds like it already has. So when do you have to have this charade? I think I want to sit in Bueno Nacho and watch, because that would be five kinds of fun to see."

"Ahh, we already had it, last night. It was - stressful. Lauren's really nice and all, she's a professor of Extreme Primate Behavior at Middleton University, and she knows a bit about supernatural stuff, which is all pretty interesting, at least to me. Not so much to Ron."

Monique had to agree there. She chuckled again at the thought of how Ron would have reacted to that. "Oh yeah. Monkeys and magic? His two least-favorite topics. I don't suppose he liked that conversation too much."

"He freaked out a bit, especially when she started talking about her research on Shinja monkeys and he thought we were being attacked by ninja monkeys again. So, you know, the usual. Eventually he calmed down, though, and we started talking about missions. After that, he was fine. Except for, you know, him eating and all."

Monique was laughing now. "Did he do the watch-me-stuff-a-burrichanga-into-my-mouth-at-once trick?"

Kim couldn't help it - she was laughing now too, now that the horror was in the past. "Put-it-into-his-mouth-sideways. _And_ he had an eating contest with Rufus. Oh god, Mo. It was so embarrassing. Lauren kept looking over at me like she couldn't believe it was happening."

"I can't believe it happened. I can't believe you didn't tell me about it and I missed it. Actually, I'm kind of glad you didn't tell me, because damn, girl, that just sounds horrible. So what did your friend think about Rufus?"

"After she stopped being weirded out by an animal in a restaurant, diving into bowls of food? She kind of liked him, especially once she realized how smart he is. I think she thinks he's smarter than Ron."

"He's not the only one, girl."

"Mo! Be nice. He's my Ron."

"Aww, I'm just funnin' ya a bit, Kim. You know I love the boy. Well, not like that, of course, but you know, like Ron."

"Sorry, Mo. I know. I'm just a little sensitive about it these days. Shannon doesn't think too much of him either, although she's willing to be nice about it for me."

"Okay, I kind of like this woman now. She sounds like she has all sorts of good taste."

"Mo..."

"Just funnin', girlfriend. I'll stop now. Now come on, go try these on." All through their conversation, Monique had been pulling out dresses and skirts, holding them up to Kim, and looking at them doubtfully. Most of them had gone back, Mo muttering "No, no, nope, hell no, here, try this...", and now Kim had an armload of clothes to go through.

One extended trip to the fitting room later, and Kim knew it was going to be a long day. She figured she might as well go all-out with the confession. "Hey Mo? Can I ask you a question? It's kinda important."

From the hesitant look on Kim's face, and the discomfort in her body language, Monique figured this was a really important question. "More important than, say, you bringing a fake friend to dinner with Ron and lying to him about a bunch of stuff?" The way Kim cringed at that made Monique wish she'd said it a little differently. "Sorry, Kim, but, you know, that's kind of a big deal."

Kim looked like she was going to burst into tears. "Oh, Mo. It's awful. I'm turning into a bad person. I'm lying to Ron all over the place, I spend time with a certified villain who really enjoys villainy, how can I still be a hero like that? I should be trying to arrest her, not have coffee with her. Right?"

"Okay, Kim. On the face of it, yeah, maybe it doesn't sound good. But let me ask you this: Do you ever catch her red-handed with evidence you could prove in court? Something that's not just your word against hers?

Kim thought about that for a second. She'd never actually _caught_ Shego. The woman always got away. And what evidence was there ever, really? Even if Kim hadn't sort of destroyed some, a little, that one time, it wouldn't have made any difference anyway. Besides, that was just to make sure she wouldn't have to answer a bunch of annoying questions.

"Okay, no, not really. Nothing that would stick, anyway. Usually the lair just collapses or they run off or whatever. But why would I want to spend time with her? How could I ever be friends with someone like that?"

"Girl, you said it yourself. Ralph and Sam, right? She's not doing anything wrong, you don't have any way to prove anything she may have done before, she's an interesting person, so you can sit down and have coffee together on your day off. Besides, you're not a cop. You just have to stop the bad guys from doing bad guy things, not arrest them."

Kim felt much better at that. She knew Mo would know what to do. "Okay, thanks, Mo. I feel - better - now. So you really don't think I'm becoming a bad person?"

"Oh hell no, girlfriend. I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are one of the best, most honest people I know. This lying to Ron business? I don't like it at all, and I know you don't either. But you're not lying to him about anything important, right? Other than this?"

"No, no. Never. And you know I'm only doing it because he would never understand, right?"

"Right. He'd freak the hell out and it would not be pretty. I think we've established that. And we've established that you feel really bad about it, too. Right?" Monique looked critically at Kim, trying to make sure there wasn't something else going on. There didn't seem to be, but Kim still looked uncomfortable. Monique decided she would let that pass. Anybody would be a little uncomfortable in this sitch.

"Absolutely, Mo. I feel just miserable every time I think about what I'm doing to him, never mind how I feel when I am doing it. I just ... what else can I do?"

"Short of things you are never going to do? Nothing. Just make sure it never goes farther than where it is, and you'll be fine." Monique took and squeezed Kim's hand. "One of the best people I know, remember?"

"Thank you, Mo. I _really_ needed this. I think I can deal now. Now can we find me a dress I can stand to wear so we can get out of here and go get something to eat?"

"Yeah, you're welcome, Kim. What else are girlfriends for if not to help enable conspiracies against their friends' boyfriends, huh? Now let's go look at the downstairs annex. We haven't yet begun to shop."

Monique grinned hugely and grabbed Kim and dragged her off toward the stairs. As they reached the bottom, Kim looked across the room and her attention focused down to a small point, and there was nothing else in the world but the dress. The deep green was almost the exact color of... of Shego's eyes. Kim's breath caught at that realization, and at the thought of how perfect, how beautiful it was.

It was a princess-line, with elbow-length sleeves, and the fitted bodice accentuated the mannequin's curves without blatantly calling attention to them. The sweetheart neckline didn't show off all _that_ much cleavage, but just enough to let the world know that she did indeed have boobs. The pleated skirt came to just below the knees and looked as if it would swirl nicely indeed.

"Okay, Mo? We're done shopping."

Monique looked up from scanning the room to look over to where Kim was slowly walking, eyes fixed on a dark emerald-green dress in velour that she realized looked like it was made for Kim. "Oh, girl. That will go perfectly with your hair. She turned to signal for the floorwalker, who came over immediately, smiling when she saw who was there, and what she was looking at.

"Mlle Possible! So wonderful to see you again! I cannot thank you enough for saving our fall line from being lost at sea."

"Oh, it was no big, Giselle. Anyone could have steered the ship after the crew was taken down with food poisoning. I'm just glad that I played that ocean liner simulator so much that summer."

"Yes, well, please allow Club Banana to thank you properly. All of your purchases today will be on the house."

Kim blushed at the praise. "No, I couldn't, really. I was just helping."

"Nonsense. You saved us millions of dollars, and allowed us to have our merchandise in the stores when we promised."

"Kim, take her up on it. You never turn down free clothing."

* * *

Kim came out of the changing room, barely able to contain herself. Omigod, this dress was _perfect_. Monique and Giselle, waiting outside impatiently, looked at Kim, then at each other, smiled widely, and turned back to Kim. Giselle clapped her hands together and let off a string of rapid-fire French, which apparently translated as extreme approval. Switching back to English, she gushed "Mlle Possible, just exquisite! That dress is so perfectly you. _Si stupéfiant!_"

"Yeah, Kim. You rock that like an earthquake. The way it makes your hair look like it's on fire? Not to mention what it does for your curves? Damn, girl. We are done shopping."

Kim looked in the mirror again and twitched her hips, watching happily as the skirt swirled as perfectly as anticipated. "Oh, Mo. It's perfect. Giselle, I'm so taking this!"

"I would not let you leave the store with anything else, _chérie_." She looked across the room and snapped her fingers. "Stéphane!" Immediately, a diminutive man with gray hair and a slight stoop appeared, seemingly from thin air. "Mlle Possible, your body is perfect. With just a few small alterations, this dress will look like it was tailored especially for you!" As Stéphane busied himself with pins and marking chalk, Kim continued to look at herself in the mirror with a dreamy expression.

Gosh, it really did go perfectly with her hair. At the pained look and admonition from Stéphane to keep still, Kim refrained from doing anything more than tossing her head back and forth to watch her hair bounce against the deep green plushness. She couldn't help but think two things at the same time: that it was exactly Shego's color, and that Shego would absolutely love it. Both of those thoughts combined, weirdly enough, to give her a happy thrill. Kim enjoyed the little glow in her chest that came from knowing Shego would like it, then realized there was something missing. Yes, it was the perfect shade of green, but that's all there was. It needed something else. Something black.

Stockings, Kim thought immediately, thinking of Karina with the seams up the back of her legs. Yes. Black stockings, silk, obviously, with the seams and maybe a discreet pattern. Nothing over-the-top, like fishnets. That would be entirely too much. It gave her a naughty little thrill to think about how much fun it would be to wear something like that and look at herself in the mirror. That _would_ look really sexy. She wondered what Shego would think if Kim told her that. 'Ha, you're not the only one who can be naughty, Shego!' Kim wondered for a moment if all women thought about stuff like that. She didn't see why not. Who didn't want to know they could look sexy, and who didn't like being a little naughty sometimes?

* * *

Kim had a brief moment of uncertainty as she paused outside the entrance to the Mariner's Hall. What on earth was she getting into? Dancing, other than the awkward holding-on-to-each-other kind she and Ron had done at prom, wasn't at all her thing. Saving the world from supervillains? So not the drama, but this? Dancing with actual steps, in front of other people who were probably really good at it? This would be the drama. It was even worse that she was late and had missed any introductory instructions there might have been, for newbies like her. Stupid Motor Ed and his stupid souped-up helicopter.

She forced herself to slow her breathing and center herself, just like Sensei Chiun had taught her all those years ago, and thought about how much fun this was going to be, and how much Shego would like the dress. Of course she could do this. There wasn't anything she couldn't do if she put her mind to it. She checked the seams on her stockings one last time, gripped the door handle firmly, took a deep breath, and walked inside. Immediately, she was inundated with the sounds of a band with a good-sized horn section, and the warmth and sensations of a room full of people in the middle of some sort of frantic activity. Sounds of stomping feet, laughter and cheering punctuated the drums, which were pretty darn good, Kim realized, even if she didn't recognize anything about the music.

Stepping from the foyer into the main room, and still not knowing exactly what to expect, Kim stopped short at what she saw. Dozens of couples, twirling, spinning, and nearly flinging each other around, and a band, much smaller than she had expected from the sounds they were making, tearing up a storm on the bandstand at the far end of the dance floor. She allowed all of this to percolate in as she looked around the room. All around the edges of the floor were tables, a good half of them filled, and what seemed to be a buffet and bar along one wall.

As Kim took all this in, she realized that everybody at the tables was clapping, whistling and stomping their feet, calling out and cheering on the dancers exuberantly. That led her eyes back to the dancers, who, she now realized, seemed to be taking turns moving to the center of the floor, under a spotlight, and showing off. Wow, were they showing off. This was dancing like Kim had never imagined.

Kim had done some research, looking up the Charleston and other dances from that era, but what was going on on the floor was only slightly similar to what she had seen. Like, the basic steps were there, but everything else was just - wild - but a little familiar. Still, how was she ever going to keep up with people like these? Suddenly, she had a flash of realization. "Oh! it's just like cheer! I can do this. I can totally do this!" With that, her mind calmed, the butterflies left her stomach, and her competitive spirit started to bubble up. Oh, yeah. She could _totally_ do this. This was going to be fun!

Now that that was out of the way, it was time to find Shego. She didn't seem to be on the floor, so Kim scanned the tables. There she was, in the corner, sitting with an older gentleman in a white suit. Kim's breath caught when she saw what Shego was wearing. The word 'slinky' came to mind. Along with 'Whoah', and 'Wow!' and 'Omigod, that's incredible.' It was green, of course, with black panels along the sides of the torso, and it had spaghetti straps and a plunging neckline that Kim was starting to get lost in. Whoah. That was weird. Kim shook her head and hurried over to their table.

As she got closer, she got a better look at Shego's dress. It appeared to be made of silk, the unbelievably soft and smooth kind that just begged you to run your hands over it. Kim doubted that would lead anywhere good, and put the idea out of her head. She already had a huge smile on her face that was just getting wider as she got closer. Shego hadn't noticed her yet, and Kim's anticipation about her reaction to the dress was getting higher by the second.

Then the gentleman seemed to make a joke, because Shego laughed, making her eyes sparkle. Sparkle! The woman turned to reach for her drink, looked up and was suddenly looking directly into Kim's eyes. The intensity of the expression on Shego's face, and the way her emerald eyes got even bigger, made Kim's heart do very strange things in her chest, and those darn butterflies were back. Even odder, it didn't bother her at all. Quite the opposite, actually. Wow. At moments like this, Kim was really glad that Shego was her friend.

Shego seemed to find her voice. "Kimmie!" she burst out excitedly, jumping to her feet and waving, with a smile to rival Kim's. Oh wow, that dress was even prettier now that she could see it. It was nearly floor-length, and seemed to shimmer in the light. The black accents continued, with thin stripes starting at the waistline, and running over the hips and down the sides. The effect was to call even more attention to Shego's curves, which was no small feat, since the material (obviously silk) hugged every inch of them.

* * *

Shego was enjoying Carl's company. He seemed to be on his best behavior tonight. Of course, he was almost always on his best behavior around her, ever since the Incident way back when they had first met. Shego had not realized she could squeal like that. It had been very embarrassing. Of course, Carl had been even more embarrassed when she had reached behind her, grabbed his hand, then whirled around and bent him in half, growling down into his face 'You like having fingers? Then don't ever, ever do that again.' Making her hand glow and heat up had made his reaction even more priceless.

Of course, once he'd had a moment to adjust, he'd put even more charm into his smile and said "A woman with spirit. That's what I like. Someone who takes no guff. My deepest apologies, my dear. My impudent nature gets the better of me sometimes. It comes from being old. I shall now and forever more treat you with the utmost dignity and respect, as befits a woman of your quality. Now, if I may buy you a drink by way of partial apology, and you might let my poor abused hand loose, perhaps we can start this association over from the beginning."

That, the way his damn eyes never stopped twinkling, and the fact that he was drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks, had actually endeared him to her, which was something hardly anyone did. Well, except for Kimmie, of course. The way he had always been a complete gentleman since then, not to mention never trying to look at her tits, had moved him into the realm of 'people she could stand to be around'.

Carl paused dramatically, and delivered the punchline to a rather bawdy joke about the mayor of Go City. Knowing the corrupt old bastard and something about his proclivities made it even funnier. She went to pick up her drink, looked across the room, and everything stopped. There, standing in what could have been a pool of heavenly light, was Kimmie. But not Kimmie as she had always known her.

Shego's breath froze and she was pretty sure her heart stopped as well. Kimmie was... fabulous. The deep green dress - was that velour? - looked like it had been poured over her, the way it accentuated the girl's curves. My god, she has hips! And cleavage! Her loose hair could not look any more perfect in contrast with that color. Does she realize that it almost exactly matches my eyes?

Shego felt her heart suddenly restart, pounding in a delightful way as she imagined Kimmie picking the dress based on that, instead of what it did for her hair. Then she caught the girl's eyes and everything, including time, stopped again. Several years later, she managed to shake herself back to life,standing up and waving. "Kimmie!"

Then she realized the girl was looking at her as fixedly as she was. She stood up quickly and waved her over.

"Hey Kimmie. Glad you could make it." Glad you could make it? Yeah, that was eloquent. "C'mon, sit down."

"Hi Shego. Wow, you look stunning. That's silk, right? Just, wow." Dangit, butterflies! Calm down already. Kim wondered idly if she could convince Shego to dress like that all the time.

Shego glowed inside. Holy shit, she thinks you're stunning, and she's looking at you like she wants to take you home and keep you. "You're sweet too, and yes, it's pure Chinese silk. Pumpkin, this is Carl. He's a real raconteur. He's pretty harmless, but if he tries pinching your ass, just break his fingers."

"It was just that one time, Shannon. And you've never let me forget it."

"That's why it was just that one time, Carl."

"My dear Shannon, will you never forgive me my one moment of misguided ardor brought on by your overwhelming beauty and heavenly perfection?"

Kim was trying very hard not to giggle at the back and forth between the two. Apparently, there was a story there, and she was going to have to pry it out of one or the other of them, and soon. Until then, she smiled. "Hi, Carl. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Carl actually reached over, took her hand, and brought it almost to his lips. Omigod, were his eyes twinkling? She made a mental note to keep an eye on this one. He seemed to be a real ladies' man. "Miss Possible. I'm a great fan of your exploits. And might I say that you are stunning yourself. You may be perhaps the only person who could rival our friend here for pulchritude."

"Oh, it's nothing. No big, really."

Shego was still astounded by Kimmie's dress. She dragged her thoughts away from the gutter they had been happily cavorting in and back into the moment. "You clean up pretty damn nicely, Princess. Is that velour?"

"Yeah, it is. And the skirt swirls. See?" Kim flicked her hips to demonstrate, then twirled around, just for the heck of it.

Holy shit. Kimmie was wearing stockings? With _seams_? Shego felt her mouth go dry. Just when she had thought the girl couldn't look any sexier. "Very nice. And it does wonders for your figure. I never knew you had hips."

Kim stuck out her tongue. "Yes I do, Shannon. I have cleavage too. See? And that dress fits you even better than your catsuit does." Omigod, why'd I say that? The blush going across Kim's face matched the dress perfectly.

Well, that had managed to take Shego's mind off the black stockings that went all the way up those perfectly shaped, muscular legs. Unfortunately, it wound up on Kimmie's cleavage and threatened to stay there the rest of the night. The sight was so compelling Shego hardly noticed the blush, and how adorable it looked against the dress.

Shego managed to pull herself back to reality enough to say "Of course it does, Pumpkin. It was custom-made for me", remembering to smirk. "Now sit down and watch for a bit. Maybe you'll pick up some moves."

* * *

Kim had been half-listening to the conversation for a while. She had been concentrating on watching the dancers and figuring out what she was going to do on the floor. From the looks of things, it seemed like the girls had all the good moves. By the time the song came to a boisterous close, she had a pretty good idea of what to do. She just hoped that...

"Hey Kimmie - you ready to dance?" Shego was standing again, smiling wickedly and looking more statuesque than usual.

"Spankin'! I was... hoping you'd, um, want to dance with me." Kim's excitement broke through her nervousness. "Come on, let's go. I have some great ideas. Ah, you're going to lead, right?"

"Sure, Pumpkin. I'll lead if you want. I've probably had a little more experience at it than you have."

"Thank you, Shannon. Besides, I get to do all the fun stuff." Kim's smile was beaming as she noticed something. "Are you wearing heels? I thought you said they weren't a good idea."

"No, I said to leave them to the professionals. That's me." Shego's smirk was back. "I've been doing this for a long while, Princess. I know what I'm doing. I wouldn't want you to trip and fall or anything."

Oh, it's _on_, Kim thought. I am _so_ going to practice that. Then we'll see who the professional is. She never got a chance to say it, though, as Shego had turned and was stalking off onto the dance floor. Kim's thoughts were interrupted by the sight. 'Stalking' was right. Wow. Shego's butt looked _really_ darn good in those heels, didn't it? Maybe she could get the woman to wear those more often, too.

"Okay, Kimmie", Shego started, as they found a clear spot, "we're gonna start off with the Jitterbug. It's pretty simple, but as you get better you can decorate things a lot. So, bend your legs while keeping your back straight, then lean a little forward, your chest over your knees so you have two triangles, one with your knees, the other with your pelvis. There, you're balanced. Now remember, I'm leading, so hold your right hand out, palm down, and I'll take it with mine, like this, with my thumb on top. For the basic step, it's step left for me, right for you, pulse your weight to the other foot, then step back the other way, pulse, then rock back, and step forward."

Kim didn't want to hurt Shego's feelings by telling her she'd researched the heck out of this last night, practicing the moves in front of the mirror for an hour until she was sure she wouldn't embarrass either of them. Shego was doing a really good job of explaining, after all. And when she had taken Kim's hand in hers … well, the feeling of _rightness_ from Shego's firm touch and surprisingly soft skin was so good it sent a tingle through her, and she didn't mind at all. Besides, Shego seemed to be enjoying herself so much. The smile that had been sparkling in the woman's eyes since Kim had gotten here, and had only increased since the lesson started, certainly proved that.

Shego should have expected it, but she was still impressed at how well Kim was picking this up. It must have been the near-electric shock that had hit when she had taken the girl's hand that was distracting her. "There you go. Step, pulse, step, pulse, one, two, one, two, in time with the music. You got it; that's perfect. You're a natural, Princess."

Kim beamed. "Aw, you know what I'm going to say, don't ya?"

"Yes, yes," Shego said, pretending to groan, "you can do anything. Yes you can. Now let's see if you can do this." As the band started picking up speed, and without warning, she picked Kim up in her arms and swung her around to the left, then to the right, Kim's head leaning back and her legs flying out in one direction, her hair in the other. After Kim recovered from a half a second of surprise, she felt the wave of exhilaration. Yeah! _This_ was what it as all about, why all the other people out here were having so much fun. Okay, time to start decorating.

"Oh, _heck_ yeah, Shannon! Now do that again, but then do that move those guys are doing." Kim nodded her head towards one of the more active couples."Come on!"

Shego looked in the indicated direction and grinned hugely. "Oh yeah, Princess. We're gonna have so much fun tonight." With that, she took a firm grip on Kim, paused a split-second to savor it, then repeated the lift and swing left, swing right; Kim's eyes nearly on fire from the excitement. This time, instead of setting her down, Shego swung the girl left again, then brought her up and flung her, legs first, over her shoulder, leaning forward to let Kim slide across Shego's upper back and around and down over her right shoulder, landing on the floor, with their arms somehow around each other.

Kim was just coming down from the high of the move. Wow, that was exciting! She was so distracted that she hadn't realized the position they were in. When she did, the fact that they were nearly hugging was the least of her surprise. It was the fact that, with the added height of Shego's heels, her eyes were on a nearly straight line with Shego's cleavage. Shego's rather full, perfectly green cleavage. Whoah. Kim had known it would be green, but the reality had somehow been unexpected. Was Shego wearing the perfume again? Kim inhaled deeply a few times. Yes. Yes she was. Kim blinked a few times to clear her head. That was...distracting. Yummy smelling, but distracting. She forced herself to look up at Shego's eyes, trying to hold back the blush.

"Wow, Shannon! That was _fun_! Come on, let's try some other moves. Um, Shannon? Hello? It wasn't _that_ impressive, was it?"

Shego wasn't hearing much at the moment. She was still mesmerized by the feeling of Kimmie in her arms, the girl's muscular body pressed against her, eyes bright but seemingly lost in thought. She could stand like this all night, but eventually the band would stop playing and they would have to go home. Shego was intently aware of Kim's breathing - how could she not be, with Kim's exhalations tickling her neck and the tops of her breasts? Shego let herself imagine Kim leaning in, nuzzling them and running that adorably cute tongue across them, delicate pink lips trailing kisses over each, hands coming up to... Huh? Kimmie was saying something, apparently to her. Shego reluctantly pulled herself back to reality.

"Huh? Oh, no, Pumpkin, that was _extremely_ impressive. Are you sure you've never done this before?"

Kim grinned, even more broadly. "Uh huh, this is my first time. I just watched the others and the rest was cheerleading. Now let's go, I wanna to try more moves. There, like those guys, and those." Kim was pointing excitedly at several of the more talented members of the club. Of course she would want to do that.

"You realize, Princess, that those are like the most senior people here, the ones who win the contest every week? Most of them dance professionally. Wouldn't you like to..."

"Nope! Who else to learn from but the best? What's the matter, Shannon? Afraid you can't keep up with me?"

For such an innocent girl, Kim sure had a wickedly naughty smile, didn't she? "Oh, you are going to be sorry you said that, Princess. You're going to be very sorry when you can't keep up with me. Now, let's rock." With that, and a downright evil gleam in her eyes, Shego extracted herself from that wonderful embrace, grabbed Kim's hand, and flung them back into the fray.

After letting their arms extend fully, Kim leaning back almost horizontally, Shego pulled back, reeling her in, then spun around on one heel, gripping Kim's hand tightly as the girl flew around, parallel to the floor, hair streaming out behind her. Shego was pretty sure she could hear a _whoo-hooo_ of excitement as she continued the move for a second circuit. Once Shego had set her back down, Kim immediately took Shego's other hand as well and slid her feet out and back, until Shego was pushing her around the floor like a wheelbarrow.

Shego pulled Kim back up, and after letting go of the girl's left hand, raised their other two hands over their heads, paused for a split-second, and spun herself around in a circle on her right foot. Her eyes met Kim's and, as if they'd rehearsed it, Kim spun herself around in the opposite direction, mirroring Shego.

After a slight pause to share a huge smile and brush their hair back, Kim took Shego's hand again. She leaned back from the waist until her hair was brushing the floor, feet going in time without missing a step, her free hand stretched out behind her, fingers waving around with the beat. Pulling herself back up, Kim switched hands and did it again, this time leaning back far enough to tap her fingers on the floor. With a wink to Shego, Kim let her feet slide until they went between Shego's legs, leaving Kim lying on the floor until Shego pulled her smoothly back up and into her arms again.

After they went through a few more iterations of the basic steps, although with much more complex footwork, the band ended the song with a flourish of drums and a cymbal crash. The lights came up slightly, and the bandleader announced that there would be a short break. Kim and Shego were left looking at each other, not even realizing they were still holding hands, as they felt their adrenalin pumping and their heart rates begin to slow.

Kim was the first to recover her voice. "Omigod, Shannon, omiGOD! That was _so_ much fun! Wow! I can't _believe_ how much fun that was. I want to do more now."

Shego was still seeing stars. Holy shit, Kimmie was good at this. Holy fucking shit, that was fun. "Damn, Princess. I knew you'd be good, but just, god damn, I can not believe you're this good. Are you _really_ sure you've never done this before?"

Kim blushed a little at the compliment. "Yup. Absolutely sure. Like I said, it's just like cheerleading, only kinda different. So not a big thing."

Shego shook her head in amazement. After all this time, she should know better than to doubt her Princess' ability to do anything, except maybe swear. It must have been the endorphins, but she felt herself swelling with pride at Kimmie's incredible talent. The fact that the girl was sharing it with her just made the moment even more perfect.

Shego suddenly realized the position they were in and reluctantly let go of her angel's hands. This made Kim aware of the situation as well, causing her to blush again and smooth her dress down nervously. Shego tried very hard not to watch that so lustfully, cleared her throat, and said "Come on, Pumpkin. Let's go get a drink. We have 20 minutes or so before the band comes back."

* * *

Next time: More of this.

* * *

**A/N:**

A giant thank you to RevSrVixena, Texan Red Rose, and especially Lhyaran for previewing and betaing some of the dancing scenes. You guys made them better, and gave me confidence that I could actually write this stuff. While I'm at it, thank you again to all my reviewers. Some of your comments and suggestions have really helped improve this story.

Thanks to Hexflame, Mystra32 and Obsessive Imaginings for pointing out the typos in the last chapter.

Thanks to Youtube for information about swing dancing, and especially DrDanceRight for the Jitterbug instructions and terminology. Everything they did out there is something real dancers do. It's awesome.

Apologies for the - brevity - of the shopping scene, but as a guy, I have no idea how to write something like that properly.

Lhyaran and I apparently had the idea for the sweetheart neckline dress at the same time. Either our strange minds are running in the same gutter, or sweetheart necklines are just too good to pass up. Or probably both.

_si stupéfiant_: So amazing, staggering, stunning, astounding, breathtaking, astonishing.

"Chiun" is the somewhat elderly Master of Sinanju, from the Remo Williams "Destroyer" series, by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy. Do you really think I own any of that?

To guest reviewer Tysej4 -Michael:

Heh, yeah, from the number of Youtube videos (damn that was fun research to do), it seems like Swing never went away.

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**Disclaimer:**

I own nothing Kim Possible related. You should know this.


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